How to Overcome the Dangers of Entitlement
The source of entitlement is arrogance.
If you aren’t grappling with arrogance, you’re blind to its influence.
You’re arrogant if:
- Offenses come quickly and frequently. Are you easily offended?
- Compassion takes the form of looking down on the “little” people. Is your nose in the air?
- Forgiveness is for weaklings. Are you holding grudges?
- Expectations for others are high, but you make exceptions for yourself. Do you expect others to do things you won’t do?
Everything good in leadership begins with humility. Everything bad in leadership is rooted in arrogance.
Arrogance demands and expects.
Humility receives and enjoys.
Entitlement and gratitude:
The enemy of gratitude is entitlement.
The ability to experience gratitude requires benefit-thinking.
When you don’t receive what you feel entitled to receive – you feel more entitled. (Emmons) Eventually, resentment takes over.
Entitlement feels ungrateful when it finally gets what it feels it deserves. “It’s about time!” There’s no joy when you receive the respect and obedience you feel entitled to receive.
High self-esteem that translates into, “I’m entitled,” sucks gratitude and joy out of life.
Why does Mary have a higher salary when you’re more qualified?
- What benefits are you receiving?
- How might current circumstances represent benefit?
- Whose shoulders are you standing on?
Aspiration and gratitude:
Arrogant-aspiration destroys gratitude.
The nature of aspiration is that it’s unmet. But arrogance rejects imperfect attainments. Progress is another way of saying, “We aren’t there yet.”
Arrogant-aspiration for advancement is the reason you hate your current position and resent those over you.
- Reach for what you hope to achieve, and – at the same time – celebrate what you currently have.
- Honor achievement and reach high.
- Honor the success of others and pursue your own. Gratitude protects you from envy.
- Respect progress and press for more.
How might leaders overcome entitlement?
How might leaders embrace aspiration and practice gratitude?
The nature of aspiration is that it’s unmet.
Thank you for that comment.
Thanks Ian. So glad you found it useful. Have a great weekend.
Thank you for this enlightening and supportive dialogue regarding the arrogance of ENTITLEMENT! So many folks in Leadership positions have “Entitlement” expectations of others they view are beneath them. This Newtonian and Military arrogance is being challenged with the new members of today’s workforce that want to their skills and contributions to be validated and appreciated.
It is this pervasive mindset that has promoted my services to promote a more Concentric management style and organizational structure. Yes, it is very similar to the “Flat” organizational structure but it steers away from the traditional hierarchical nonsense and more to an Empowerment and Relationship dynamic.
Yes, WE are ENTITLED to get Goals accomplished and the Job Done TOGETHER.
Yes, you got me going here and I would like to share with my network, to include my edits.
Thanks Gregory. It’s pretty hard to get the job done TOGETHER and feel entitled at the same time.
Seems like a major contradiction when you talk TOGETHER while insisting on walking alone on your special lane.
This was/is a GREAT article.
I add: Ignorance is also a major source for an entitlement mentality, in my experience and now opinion.
Denying oneself comes to mind as a way of overcoming entitlement. Leadership is a two headed wolf. One head requires self preservation, the other needs it’s pack. Leadership requires a certain amount of arrogance, but to be sympathetic and understanding as well. If a leader constantly denies their wants for the needs of the team, this can help them stay keep arrogance at bay. This doesn’t mean to NOT enjoy the position of leadership. One should do so, but like all things in life, in moderation.
“Leadership requires a certain amount of arrogance.” That statement assumes that to be a leader you must be arrogant. Not even close to the truth, unless you were referring to POOR leadership. While many leaders may indeed be arrogant, that’s correlation, not causation. A statement like that assumes that arrogance begets leadership. Good leaders typically show no arrogance. Great leaders, Level 5 leaders, make sure that their team gets the credit. Great leaders understand that when they take time off, the work still gets done. When their team is gone, very little work gets done. Insecure, poor leaders require self-preservation as part of the deal. Great leaders understand that it is the team that must be preserved and that if they build a great team that produces innovation and improvement, there will be no need to “preserve” their job, but there will be a need to find the next leader, because leaders that have total focus on the team (humble leaders) will need to replace themselves when they move into their next role.
Thanks Scott. Great insights. Maybe the word ego sits better with you, but I doubt it. In the end, you have to believe that you matter and be willing to make other people unhappy. I don’t believe in the egoless leader. AND I believe that leadership is about service. I suppose that seems inconsistent. have a great week.
Thanks Tim. I really am enjoying all your comments and insights. I hope you keep them coming. Have a great week.
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