Neglected Realities: The Dog Ate Part of Your Puzzle
The games you play to be a “good” leader cause disappointment and frustration.
The real you is all you have to give.
2 neglected realities of leadership:
#1. Pieces are missing from your puzzle.
Some of your puzzle-pieces are lost under the couch. The dog ate a few. If you think you’re all together, you’re confused.
You need enough self-belief to take on challenges, but not so much that it’s blinding.
Fear and arrogance make you inauthentic. And the need for all-togetherness ends in fear and emptiness.
7 ways to get real:
- Avoid omni-competence. Real talent languishes when you wear a mask. What do you suck at?
- Notice what people say to you. When was the last time you received corrective feedback?
- Develop at least one real relationship. Who knows you?
- Take on new challenges. How are you stretching yourself?
- Show interest in people. What are you learning about the people on your team?
- Seek help from talented colleagues. Are you always helping but never helped? Who helps you?
- Tell people your hopes FOR them. What good do you want for others?
“The greatest battle we face as human beings is the battle to protect our true selves from the self the world wants us to become.” E. E. Cummings
Genuineness energizes. Mask-wearing drains.
Another neglected reality of leadership …
#2. Leaders jump off the cliff while someone else holds the rope.
Distrust derails leadership.
- You aren’t holding both ends of the rope. Your success depends on others. Micromanagement is holding both ends of the rope.
- Trust people who demonstrate reliability in small ways. Don’t hand the rope to untested talent.
- Find a friend who doesn’t have a dog in the fight.
- How will you extend trust today?
“You must trust and believe in people or life becomes impossible.” Anton Chekhov
What neglected realities of leadership come to mind for you?
How might leaders practice authenticity? Trust?
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Weird coincidence – just yesterday was speaking with a staff member about loving puzzles, and the frustration of doing them in my house where the cats knock the pieces off the table and the dogs chew them up. Once, after doing one of those puzzles where the image is made up of tiny images, I actually made a new puzzle piece for one that disappeared. I am thinking that this might be the conclusion to this analogy. Know that the pieces will go missing – by accident or intent – and that there are many solutions to dealing with the missing piece.
My first concern: Is the dog ok?
(Everything I know of love I learned from being dogGod.)
“Is the dog OK?” The focus of leadership is outward. Your question made me smile. Brilliant.
Thanks Andria. Wow. Now that’s creative. Love where you took the puzzle analogy.
This spoke directly to me! It is such a fine line when building relationships with your staff: too much and corrective issues become a problem; too little and you’re viewed as standoffish and unapproachable. It is an exhausting balancing act!
Thanks Michelle. Favoritism comes to mind, too. I think leaders need a close relationship with someone outside their organization.
I agree you must have one person who knows “YOU”. At the same time there needs to be trust with that person and I think they should be told what they are to you. Some friends will run from that.
Thanks Walt. Makes sense. You’re looking for someone who steps up to the challenge.