3 Ways to be Liked and Respected
Smart people give their best even when leadership sucks. But it’s easier when leaders are liked and respected.
Incompetent leaders can be liked, but ineffective. You can respect someone but doubt their ability to lead.
Results:
There’s more to results than being liked and respected.
Results are impacted by:
- Employee competence.
- Processes.
- Leadership style.
- Team dynamics.
- Regulations.
- Organizational culture.
- Political and social events.
- Efficiency.
- Market conditions.
- Quality and service.
3 ways to be liked and respected:
It’s easier to give your best to someone you like and respect.
#1. Pursue leadership excellence like a fanatic.
Worry more about becoming a remarkable leader than being liked and respected.
- Tell people what’s important.
- Don’t try to please everyone.
- Bring up tough issues with forward-facing optimism.
- Show people you care about results and relationships.
- Stay on target. A leader who chases three rabbits at the same time comes home with apples for dinner.
- Learn like a sponge. Know-it-all leaders are losers. The difference between arrogance and humility is consistent learning and growth.
- Challenge people to bring their best and support them along the way.
#2. Help people respect themselves.
Expect people to bring their best. Rushing to help is a subtle form of disrespect that suggests people are incompetent.
No one likes a leader who suggests everyone is incompetent.
Make room for responsible failure. Imagine little Mary struggling to tie her shoe. When you rush to help, she resists. “I’ll do it myself.” Your help is respected after she knows it’s hard to tie shoes.
People like leaders who help them feel good about themselves. Coddling isn’t the answer.
#3. Like people.
People are likely to like leaders who like them.
Make a list of things you like about the people on your team. Keep it in mind. Review it when you’re frustrated.
How can leaders be liked and respected?
Still curious:
How to be the Leader People Love to See
How to be a Leader People Like – Without being Needy
Being Liked vs. Being Respected
This was a very powerful message on this morning. It is so easy to blur the lines and lose focus. Thank you for the reminder and perspective.
Thanks, Rosanne. I find it easy to put my head down and do the work. When that happens relationships can suffer. When relationships suffer results decline.
Being liked
–show interest in others
–be an interesting person
–help people grow and develop
–show appreciation
–add value in every interaction
Being respected
–be competent
–be consistent
–be available
–set a positive example
–follow through on your commitments
Thanks, Paul. The most interesting people are the people interested in me.
I particularly like, be available.
This is going to sound terrible, but in the daily busyness that occurs in our office, I often forget that I really do like the people that I work with. I’m not saying I’d be friends outside of work with all of them if I weren’t their supervisor (we are encouraged to keep a professional distance from those we directly supervise), but I genuinely like and respect something about each or them. Thank you for reminding me of that – it’s one of the reasons I love my job. I am making that list of things I like about each of them today and I will keep it close!
Thank you Dan! Another excellent read!!! I especially like #2 of your 3 ways. It stirs in me a tip I heard years ago and keep close:
Help is not helpful until it is needed AND wanted.
As a lifetime people pleaser, it is important for me to remember that the help has to be wanted. They will let me know when that time comes.
Onward!