Yes is Better Than No
The law of holes, “When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.”
No is a hole. Yes is a door.
5 ways to live into yes:
#1. Focus on what you have instead of what you don’t have.
- Progress is built on using what you have.
- Current strengths are the foundation of future abilities.
Don’t worry about what others have. Use what you have.
Show up saying, “I see what we don’t have. What do we have?”
#2. Live beyond, “I can’t do that.”
- Stop comparing yourself with the achievements of others. It’s self-defeating.
- Set lower goals. Find something that feels achievable if you’re a can’t-do-person. Try doing one push-up, for example.
Show up asking, “What’s the easiest thing to do next?”
#3. Shift from limits to opportunities.
- Practice gratitude.
- Help someone else. There’s always a place for someone who shows up to serve.
- Notice negative self-talk.
Show up saying, “I see what we can’t do. What can we do?”
#4. Adopt a “next-step” approach.
- Turn to the present. Don’t look up the hill. Take the next step.
- Think about ability, not weakness.
- Put energy into action. Jettison rumination.
- Visualize the next step. Let go your need to win.
Just take the next step. Passivity makes us pathetic.
Show up asking, “What’s the next step?”
#5. Notice something that’s right.
- Reflect on what is right more frequently than wallowing in what is wrong.
- Go on a what’s-working-walkabout.
Show up to ask, “What’s working?”
No is a necessary part of life. How can we live into yes?
Still curious:
The BIG YES Accelerates Leadership
Great advice, perfect timing to assist me right now!
Best wishes
Thanks Tim. Are you still in Croatia?
Yes, privately!
This post is for my wife and I this morning. She just came back from taking mobility and orientation training for low vision or blind people. She will be using her white cane. It looks scary to face a world that she is in the minority in. Here’s to saying “Yes.”
Wow, you and your wife are facing some challenges. It’s so easy to pull into ourselves when this happens. Sometimes all we need is a little encouragement. I wish you and your wife well. Here’s to saying, “Yes.”
Also reminds me of the Jim Carey Movie, Yes Man. Thanks for this thoughtful post. Be part of the solution, right?
Sometimes Jim Carey is a genius.
Aaaahhh, this one hits me on this Friday a’noon… I’m a “yes, unless” person by nature; my wife is much more of a “no, unless” person. One thing I’ve learned over the years is that a yes from a “no, unless”-person is worth a million (meaning: rock solid), while a yes from a “yes, unless” person might turn into, well… quicksand. “Over-yessing” is a thing…
Great point, arostraining. Some of us say yes alot, but don’t finish. Others say no alot and finish everything. The yes/no tension is real because decisions matter.