Change Your Friends Change Your Life
Raise the average of your friends and you raise the average of your life.
Jim Rohn said, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Relationships impact the average of your life.
Change your friends change your life.
Friend up:
Build relationships with experience, status, and resources early in your career.
7 questions to ask when building early-career-relationships:
- Who is walking through doors you aspire to walk through?
- Who has experience in arenas you hope to work in?
- Who are respected experts in your field?
- Who knows people you would love to know?
- Who demonstrates expertise you strive to develop?
- Who earned a reputation for wisdom?
- Who do your bosses admire?
Lift up:
When you have experience, status, and resources, build relationships with people who don’t have what you have.
Relationships with low-power people enhances your reputation if you are humble.
Questions to ask when friending down:
- Who do you love to help? Think ‘who’ before ‘how’.
- How do you love to help? Beware the feeling of superiority that comes with helping.
- Who are the high aspiration beginners?
- Who seems humble enough to grow and learn?
- Who might expand your perspective on the world?
- Who are the fringe people in your organization that do great work without needing the spotlight?
- Who seems most energized after you spend time with them?
Look for friends who lift you when you begin. Later, look for people you can lift.
7 ways to connect with high status people:
- Seek mentors.
- Ask for advice.
- Don’t make huge time demands.
- Help people achieve their goals.
- Leverage online platforms.
- Be patient and persistent.
- Show gratitude.
Tip: Approach all relationships with sincerity and humility. Build genuine connections. Avoid transactional relationships.
Still curious:
Show Me Your Friends and I’ll Show You Your Future
How to Build Relationships that Maximize Performance at Work
John David Mann and I invite you to check out our new book, The Vagrant: The Inner Journey of Leadership. I’m offering a bonus for people who preorder.
Hi Dan, this is really good thank you! Thanks for mixing together the various dimensions of relationships into one post. Sharing high status with others, noticing the quiet stars, and not just seeking to benefit from high status relationships for oneself.
Thanks Cate. It’s a beginning. There’s a lot to think about on this topic. Cheers