4 Rules for Great Relationships at Work
Enemies don’t help each other.
People give their best to people they know, like, and trust. They give their minimum for jerks. People bring their best when they pull for each other.
What do great work relationships look like?
4 ways to spot great relationships at work:
Laughter reveals connection. We’re sober with people we don’t like.
#2. Playful jabs.
Weaknesses are badges of honor among friends. You dare say, “You suck at that,” to a friend. It’s not a put down. It’s acceptance.
People who struggle to discuss weaknesses have weak relationships.
You might not be comfortable poking fun at your friends’ weaknesses, but dancing around issues builds shallow connections.
You look for admiration from your friends. You tell them about achievements so they can be happy with you.
Your friends cheer when you buy a vintage VW beetle while they tease you about being a flower child from the 60s.
#4. Respect, not rules.
Rules are for people who don’t trust each other.
Lower obstacles to relationships by focusing on respect, not rules.
Conformity isn’t connection.
Vulnerability strengthens connection.
Boundaries: All successful relationships have boundaries. That’s for a later post.
4 rules for great relationships at work:
#1. Show sincere interest in people.
Ask about their interests. Share their joys and sorrows. Notice their passions.
#2. Avoid arguments when relationships are new.
Find common ground. Build a little trust before you wrestle with the issue of life on other planets.
#3. Let others do most of the talking.
#4. Remember what people talk about.
Bring up topics they brought up yesterday.
It’s not enough to care. You must express it. Unexpressed care is the same as not caring.
Which rules seem most important to you?
What would you add to the above list?
“Was not expecting this to be so powerful” Reader’s comment after finishing our new book, The Vagrant: The Inner Journey of Leadership.