Stop Gift Giving at Work
Obligatory gifts aren’t gifts. Generosity requires freedom.
Generosity delights everyone. Gift giving at work doesn’t. If you haven’t done it, don’t start. If you currently give gifts at work, find an alternative for spreading holiday cheer. Adopt a needy family and buy gifts for them, for example.
If you decide to collect for a local cause instead of having a gift exchange, avoid partisan and political stuff. Don’t give to the NRA or Planned Parenthood, for example.
Image source: Image by M K from Pixabay
5 rules for gift giving at work (if you can’t escape it):
- Give the same gift to everyone.
- Never give personal gifts in the office.
- Follow current gift giving protocols if you don’t have authority. Rocking the boat isn’t worth it.
- Be known for daily acts of generosity.
Giving and receiving enriches life. You should know we celebrate Christmas in our home and love it. But office gift exchanges are a pain in the neck that should be stopped.
What are your thoughts on giving gifts in the office?
How can organizations spread holiday cheer within the office?
Still curious:
7 Alternatives to Traditional Gift Exchanges in the Office – #1 Don’t Do it
How to Graciously Let Others Know You Won’t Be Buying Them a Gift This Year
I personally look at gift giving as one more thing to do … like crazy dress up days and obligatory potlucks, but my staff enjoys these team building events. So, I try to remind everyone that participation is optional and that things should be low stress and understanding should be given to those who can’t or choose not to participate.
Thanks for joining in today, Eric. We all make up our own mind. I’m glad you pointed out the advantages you see.
We do a white elephant gift exchange at work. It’s voluntary. No pressure, we also do snacks/appetizers during the exchange. Everyone participates in the food though.
Eating together is awesome. I should have suggested eating together as an alternative to gift exchanges. 🙂
Give the same gift to everyone unless it’s a copy of your latest book!!
HaHa!! 🙂 Thanks for joining in today, Paul.
This comment sounds vagrantly familiar!
When I was at Verizon, I would bring my team to my home for a fancy dinner that I cooked and then sometimes we would do something fun after (like go to a show). A few times I enough leadership books for everyone, wrapped them, and then each person could pick a new one or “steal” one from someone else and they explained why that book was interesting to them. Then people swapped them around throughout the year and we chatted about them in our meetings. More than a decade later people still talk about those times at my home when we catchup. I think acknowledging the holidays in some way is important. Merry Christmas!
Wonderful, Karin. I want to work for you. Just brilliant!
I love the idea of a book steal. Especially since the gift keeps giving through the year.
For us in the arts – theater and education, December is extremely busy and gatherings were not usually much fun. We have switched our gathering to a New Year Celebration with a party in January after the dust settles. It negates all of the various holidays, eliminates obligatory gift giving, and everyone enjoys so much more!
Great idea, Ed. Just because obligatory gift giving is not a good idea. Eating together. Spending time together outside work is good for morale. Cheers.
I just transitioned off a team where the “optional” gift giving was over the top. Birthdays, holidays, admin day, bosses’ day, had a bad day, moving, weddings, etc., and this was on top of in-person and online team building, potlucks and team lunches. When I first joined the team, several of us tried in vain to steer things in a different direction and outright said “no Christmas exchange” etc. to no avail. I eventually had the opportunity to switch teams and jumped at the chance with all the gifting and over the top team building one of the many driving forces. I care a lot about the people I work with, but it all started to feel like “forced family fun” and it became just one more work task that I had to complete. It also might have been “optional,” but it never felt optional as I was always called out if I didn’t participate in a potluck or team building. A sympathy bouquet or meal in times of crisis or loss is always appropriate IMO and an occasional off-site team building can be fun but when it becomes a monthly event, it’s a strain.
Thanks for telling your story, Jane Doe. 🙂 You’re so right. When we say, “It’s not obligatory,” it really is. You’re a killjoy if you don’t participate.
“Forced family fun!” We’re going to have fun if it kills us.
When COVID came, we used the funds from our annual Holiday Party to buy personal gifts for our team. We tried to purchase from local stores or makers or otherwise reflected our values so the money did double duty. Four years later, 30% of our staff are remote and we are continuing the tradition.
The gifts are hyper-personal based on input from a survey. One person may reveal they have a tropical trip planned and they get books, reef-safe sunscreen, local t-shirt and beach bag. Someone else gets a subscription for fair-trade coffee.
We get great feedback. It seems that people welcome the sense that they are really seen as individuals. Of course, it takes work, and I don’t know how we’ll manage it when we grow but for now, it is a tradition that works for us.
And it costs less than that awkward hotel buffet.
Thanks Elizabeth. What an interesting idea. Love the personal aspect. I can see where this could work. So is one person designated to be the person who chooses and buys gifts? Just curious.
Need ideas for the ratcheting down the staff expectations for gifts—or a reframing of my thoughts. The staff at the charter schools that I just took the Executive Director position are accustomed to a larger expense at Christmas that I’m comfortable with. Do these thoughts apply to person-to-person gift giving. What’s appropriate for a district level education agencies to all employees? (separate from state procurement rules)
We spend about $130 pp which includes $100 for gifts, $25 for gift cards (for the gift card steal) and misc. gift bags, etc.
For a team of about 25 people, we have 4 people doing the gift buying. We send a survey out in August to collect ideas and get personal preferences (e.g. milk vs. dark chocolate). The team splits up the employees, but we review all of the ideas and brainstorm, so it is very collaborative. We try to consolidate buying responsibilities.
We may do a summer staff event but not a lot of other staff morale related costs so although it does require time, it’s not disruptive.
I think what makes it work is that it is personal and not a “token.” We’ve actually spent more money on branded gear and hotel food and people like those things, but they are generic. People really respond to the gift being personal–the sense that it has meaning vs. an obligation.
I can’t speak to what is reasonable in schools or other government organizations, but we have found that between $80 – $100 is a sweet spot for personal gifts. Frankly, we’ve spent more but had less positive comments so it’s not the dollar amount per se. The trick is in imbuing the gifts with meaning that reflects the values of the staff and the organization. I suspect that that will differ between teams.
I stopped buying office gifts years ago. Instead, I treat my direct reports to lunch. This year everyone asked if we can wait until January for that because December is so busy.
Our college has a food pantry that allows students to pick up groceries as needed when personal funds are tight. One of the annual fundraisers is a holiday bucket raffle with the most amazing baskets created by various departments. I purchase oodles of tickets and give them to my team members to drop in as they like. It’s a donation to a specific need that supports our students that people can choose to participate in, or not.
In addition to all the points you make above, none of us need “more stuff”. Less waste is also a goal I have when it comes to gift giving. I love all the replies that focus on experiences and memories.