3 Ways to Stop Worrying and Lead
With a heavy weight of responsibility, it’s nuts to worry.
You know you’re worrying when you’re tired all day and awake half the night. Worried leaders are grumpy, jumpy, and ready to blow – your muscles tense, your stomach hurts, and your head aches. You overthink, avoid, and struggle with decisions when you’re worried.
Worrying causes you to jump to the worst possible conclusion in a single bound; or is it the other way around?
3 ways to stop worrying and lead:
Clarify terms:
- Worry is paralyzed. Concern is responsive.
- Worry is hesitant. Concern is dynamic.
- Worry is distracted. Concern is focused.
- Worry is desperate. Concern says, “It’s hard, but we’ve done hard things before.”
- Worry dulls. Concern sharpens.
Concern brings out your best. Worrying invites you to forget yourself.
Tip: Don’t minimize. Don’t catastrophize.
3 ways to stop worrying and start leading:
#1. Choose responses before you need them.
Suppose you’re worrying about being confronted with questions you can’t answer. Write down your best response and stick it in your pocket. For example…
- That’s a great question. I need some time to think before I respond. I’ll get back to you.
- I’m not sure of the answer to that. Let me get back to you this afternoon.
- I wish I’d thought of that question. Give me some time to talk it over with our managers and I’ll get back to you.
#2. Challenge worries.
Ask yourself, “How likely is this worry to happen?” The zombie apocalypse hasn’t happened yet. How likely is it going to happen this month, on a scale of 1:10?
Don’t pretend it’s going to be OK. Maybe things will go sideways.
#3. Plan.
- Several backup plans is too many.
- Replace “what if” with “what about”.
- Do an if-then. If X happens, we’ll do Y.
Tip: Action answers worry.
What do you do when worry grips you?
What advice would you give a leader who is worried?
Still curious:
12 Strategies for Dealing with Worry
“Worried” can become a generalized feeling. Your worries grow. It helps to get specific.
1. Write down the specific things you are worried about.
2. On a scale of 1-to-10 indicate the probability of it occurring?
3. If it happens, what will you do.
Being prepared makes you less worried.
Thanks, Paul. Love your insight that worries grow. One untended worry tumbles in another until you create an avalanche.
Great thoughts for reflection, Dan.
I reflect on the time I spent 3 hours working on a problem, and just couldn’t move past it. I got so frustrated I got up and walked out (in a good way-not in anger). I remember telling myself “I am NOT going to think about this for 15 minutes!” and took a walk.
No kidding… less than 5 minutes into my walk with a cleared head the answer popped in. I finished my (now refreshing) walk and was able to move forward again. I wish I had done that 2 hours prior!
What do you do when worry grips you? What advice would you give a leader who is worried?
– I intentionally take a break (10-15 min) to clear my head. I am not permitted to think about work during that time.
Thanks, Ryan. Brilliant. Simple. And actionable. Now if I can just remember to do it.