Have an Aliveness Mindset by Reframing Your Negative Thoughts
It’s another great book giveaway.
20 copies available!!
Leave a comment on this guest post by Jack Craven to become eligible for one of 20 complimentary copies of his new book, Aliveness Mindset: Lead and Live with More Passion, Purpose, and Joy.
Deadline for eligibility is 04/07/2024. International winners will receive electronic version.
What we tell ourselves becomes our reality.
When I’m coaching a client, I pay close attention to the words they use. How are they describing a situation? Here are some recent examples:
- “Work’s a grind.”
- “I’ve never done this before.”
- “I have to do this.”
- “That would be egotistical.”
How we relate to the experience is the experience.
- Work IS a grind.
- They approach work with fear and caution.
- They act from obligation.
- They are timid.
When we are feeling fear or reactivity, we are likely in a fixed mindset and feeling disempowered. We are not at our best.
4 steps to an aliveness mindset:
- Awareness is the first step.
Notice when you are in a fixed mindset. Pay attention to the words you are using. Remind yourself to approach it with a growth mindset. - Take responsibility for your experience.
Your reaction is a choice. Ask, how do you want to feel and approach the situation? What do you need to do differently? - Reframe what you are telling yourself.
If a thought isn’t helpful, replace it with a more helpful thought.
I like using this quote by James Clear to help clients and teams reframe. “Without altering the facts of the situation you are facing and without ignoring the reality of what must be done, what is the most useful and empowering story you can tell yourself about what is happening and what you need to do next?”
These are real examples from my clients:
- Work is challenging, and I love challenges.
- I’ve thrived taking on new roles and responsibilities.
- I choose to do this.
- I embrace owning the value that I bring at work.
- Appreciate yourself.
When you change your pattern from reactivity to an empowering thought, appreciate yourself for about 15-30 seconds. It helps rewire your brain and create new neural pathways for healthier, more productive thoughts.
How can you shape your mindset today?
How might leaders influence the mindset of others?
Jack Craven has always shaped his professional journey around his passions. He’s been a trial lawyer with the Chicago State’s Attorney’s office, a CEO for nearly two decades, and an executive coach the past decade. He helps leaders feel more empowered to discover deeper purpose, joy, and happiness in their lives. His debut book, Aliveness Mindset: Lead and Live with More Passion, Purpose, and Joy, launches April 2, 2024.
Thank you- great examples of how a shift in thinking leads to dropping the mental weight
I’m looking forward to this amazing read 😀 Can’t wait to receive my copy!!
Thank you for putting this into easy-to-use verbage. Many of us, including coaches, need rewired to stay the course for positivity and success.
“How we relate to the experience is the experience” really hit home for me. We are what we think. We need to spend more time reflecting on past experiences and learn from them. Noting what happened can help you consider what you have learned and what you could or should have done differently. When we spend time reflecting, we can always find the silver lining in any bad situation and grow from it.
Thank you for putting this together. Sometimes, I need a reminder that I control how I think and react.
Self talk disciplines- choose your attitude, attitudes are contagious, don’t let the negative 20% control the positive 80%. We don’t have to do anything, we get to do everything.
Thank you! These are great reminders for both at work and at home.
Taking responsibility for your experience is the main takeaway for me.
Over the years, I’ve changed my outlook and verbiage from trials/tribulations to challenges to ADVENTURES. Since I started looking at life as an adventure, so many opp for growth and true healing of my past traumas have been made available. Thank you adding another layer to strengthening my higher mindset muscle with this post ❤️🔥
Just what I needed today as I face an unwanted change in my career. Rephrasing how I think about the challenges, or ADVENTURES, ahead will help make this transition more positive.
Excited for this book!
Awareness! That can be so hard when we’re in the middle of a negative cycle. Great reminder!
As feelings travel faster than thoughts, stopping to think is important.
Eva … Thanks. I like this!
‘Feelings travel faster than thoughts’
A simple metaphor!
(They are also more persistent, and biased toward the negative.)
Seems most of us do not pause to tease apart our automatic perceptions and emotional responses … much less steer our minds on any course that invites and then explores alternative thoughts with their consequently differing emotions, behaviours and outcomes!!
I agree with Alma, awareness is the crucial first step. And easier said than done!
I enjoyed this message. Very useful.
Thank you. This is very helpful and a reminder to think positive.
Change your mindset, change your approach to dealing with life’s many variables. Put yourself in a position to succeed. Excellent topic for a book!
I usually just feel so overwhelmed and exhausted in dealing with challenges – it occurs to me at times to try to view the issue at hand with a different mindset but I easily revert to my “standard negative response”. Would love some more tips on how to “flip my mindset”. Thank you for this post and some tips as I navigate what is scheduled to be a pretty intense workday today!
We have to choose to look at things as we do. As my wife says to the kids “It’s all about choices”.
Great reminder! Looking forward to reading more!
Love reframing and the reminder to appreciate yourself!
Really needed to hear all of this today. Mindset really does make the difference
The power of your words is real and only you can change your mindset.
I especially need to incorporate #4 in my daily routine–taking a moment to recognize what I have done and what is going well. It is easy to let the problems and “fires” that pop up through the day take over my thinking, but it can lead to some days feeling very hard or frustrating. A moment of reflection and appreciation sounds like excellent practice.
“Take responsibility for your experience”- so simple, yet has significant impact when you change your mindset.
I love this! “Ask, how do you want to feel and approach the situation? ” <That's such a smart way to frame our challenges.
Having a good mindset also sets my tone for the day. I like the example of “Take Responsibility for your experience.” This is so simple to do and as you role model the actions that you are taking it can make a difference in others.
Beverly …
Me too!
Outsourcing responsibility for my experience is disempowering. There are no winners in the blame game. However, when I embrace responsibility I feel empowered!
“Awareness is the first step. Notice when you are in a fixed mindset.” This is so POWERFUL. I had a massive stroke at the “young” age of 38. Though I had all symptoms (numbness on the left side of face, slurred speech, lack of stability, loss of use of my legs, etc) the doctors dismissed it because I was young, didn’t smoke, not overweight, etc. It took almost a month to be diagnosed. I was bedridden for months. This was extremely difficult for me as I was newly wed, running my consulting company, and working on my PhD. I sought counseling. The wise counselor spoke about a fixed mindset and various chapters of life. I was forced into a new chapter of life and no matter how much I wanted to return to my old chapter, it wasn’t possible. My fixed mindset was prohibiting or reducing my healing by thinking I should be back to “normal”, able to operate a business, etc. Instead, I was barely able to walk, talk, and anything that moved quickly triggered mini-strokes (which I still have multiple times a week). Working on my conscious thoughts, mindset, positive spirit, family, and friends assisted in my recovery. The mind is a powerful thing.
Mindset matters. “I choose to do this.” So powerful!
Awareness, awareness, awareness. That is a skill that cannot be learned soon enough anyone. I love the quote you shared, too!
This seems so simple yet extremely difficult to accomplish some days. Could we program all cell phones to prompt the 4 steps to an aliveness mindset when they turn on?
Such a powerful, yet simple way to reframe thoughts and retrain our brains!
The battlefield of life is in the mind. Arming ourselves and others with the rewiring hack of 15 seconds of appreciation and affirmations is brilliant! Thank you.
I have been using the new Journal app in the iPhone to help with self-awareness, which is always something that I’ve struggled with. Thank you for these additional questions above!
Appreciate the self before the change of frame effort – i liked it
Will certainly implement 👏🏼👏🏼
Thanks Dan
The messages we give ourselves each day can make a big difference! A great reminder of how we can keep our energy up!
As always, your posts are strangely relevant to the issues of my day! I just journaled this morning about working on changing my mindset and being more conscious about how I think and react to my day to day.
Thanks again for this great advice!
“Work is challenging and I love challenges” – love that and it’s just the reminder I needed to reframe.
Appreciate yourself – Thank you for the great reminder!
Love how he breaks these concepts into basic, simple terms. So important to remember that one’s attitude will make or break a situation. Great reminders.
Great information for everyone!
What a simple breakdown on this, and I love that it’s capped off with taking time to appreciate yourself. It’s easy to get caught up in just working and trying to get stuff done, but it’s important to take time to think and make proactive decisions. How else can we really get ahead?
Wow…I plan to use this in my career field when we help to coach those who have struggled to get a job and keep a job!
I am working on shifting mindset shifts in becoming the future self that I want to be while grounding in the present. I have understood the why for years but have struggled with the how and leaning in to the reality in front of me.
I’m currently training Leaders on how to have a more growth mindset when coaching their teams. I love the quote from James Clear and plan to borrow it when I’m teaching a session this Friday! Thank you for the timely post!
This is a great post today!
When I read the reference to a ‘growth mindset’ a recent conversation made me think of a ‘greatness mindset’ and wondered about whether it is akin to your proposed ‘aliveness mindset’.
We talked about underlying worries that might have caused a subordinate to offend his manager.
Instead of (further) discipline, the manager would implement a policy change that met a felt need and presented the manager as someone caring for his staff. This would reduce the likelihood of future worries and offences and it would restore the manager’s honour.
Thank you for the great reminders! This comment stood out to me, “When you change your pattern from reactivity to an empowering thought, appreciate yourself for about 15-30 seconds.” This is something that I need to do more often to change the mindset.
This quote from James Clear really resonate with me: Without altering the facts of the situation you are facing and without ignoring the reality of what must be done, what is the most useful and empowering story you can tell yourself about what is happening and what you need to do next?”
I have reflected on my responses, and how they are perceived by my team and supervisors. I’ve sometimes wished I had responded differently, and thought the outcome might have been different. This is something I need to work on!
This was a great post! It reminded me of something I say to myself every time I am struggling with my attitude. Our greatest suffering occurs when we fail to accept what is…
Looks like a great book! Thank you for offering this to your readers!
I like that part about “take a moment and reward/congratulate yourself for DOING/THINKING it differently.” It will create more of a “gotta do this more” feeling in me….
I am struggling with this right. I know we all tell our ‘own’ stories to match our perspective – the difficult part for me is I am a realist and sometimes, the truth is, it is just overwhelming. I try to remember impermanence and equanimity.
At the end of the day, attitude and mindset is everything… Thanks for the post and book opportunity
Thank you for the real-life examples and I like the quote “Your reaction is a choice. Ask, how do you want to feel and approach the situation? What do you need to do differently? ”
“Work’s a grind.”
“I’ve never done this before.”
“I have to do this.”
“That would be egotistical.”
Work IS a grind.
They approach work with fear and caution.
They act from obligation.
They are timid.
Work is challenging, and I love challenges.
I’ve thrived taking on new roles and responsibilities.
I choose to do this.
I embrace owning the value that I bring at work.
In my current life stage getting stuck in negative thoughts happens too frequently. Starting to recognize it but reframing is a challenge. I like where it says to, “appreciate yourself for 15-30 seconds.” That part is missing in my reframing of the situation and I’ll start adding that in.
So good. Wow this is like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in a Leadership context. Love this. Would love to read the book
Fantastic blog post. I would love to learn more!
This was a great reminder. This is definitely good information to use in coaching, and to help keep myself on track.
This made me think of Return of the Jedi when Luke Skywalker asked Obi Wan Kenobi why he hadn’t told him the Darth Vader was his father. Kenobi said, “[…] what I told you was true, from a certain point of view. […] [Y]ou’re going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view.” Obi Wan Kenobi changed my perspective and my life. I think the book will have a similar influence, would love to have it for my granddaughter!
It’s not easy changing your mindset, particularly when things are chaotic or challenging. Some of us are prone to negativity and pessimism (guilty) even in the best of circumstances. Mindful tactics like this help. Looking forward to reading this book to get more tips on how to reframe the experience.
You are updating Marshall McCluhan. He argued that the Medium is the Message. You extend that as the Message is the MIndset. I love it! Thank you.
I could reframe what I am telling myself with this book
I try to live by my signature line: “I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.” -Astrid Lindgren, Pippi Longstocking
I need to add your quote by James Clear to help clients and teams reframe. “Without altering the facts of the situation you are facing and without ignoring the reality of what must be done, what is the most useful and empowering story you can tell yourself about what is happening and what you need to do next?”
Must pause to actually ask myself this. Not live by inertia.
Wow, great insights, Jack. Your perspective of the experience IS the experience.
I keep this quote in mind whenever I hit the wall:
“If you want something you never had, You’ll have to do something you’ve never done.”
I love these, I pass them along to our Supervisors!
I am in the midst of a really big change at work – some of it I can control and most of it I have to try to influence. It’s easy to get bogged down and fall into martyr syndrome, so I’m working hard to recognize how my attitude and approach can help me and my team. I’d love to read more and incorporate new strategies into this hard work that I am choosing to do!
Great point, AH. The simplest thing to do is tell people to shut up and do what they’re told. Influence is hard work because it takes careful intention and it accepts that people have power.
It’s good to be vocal about what you want as you work to influence.
Love this post! I think the hardest part is recognizing when you are in that mindset. Reframing it and taking ownership of the thoughts/feelings is the easy part 🙂
This is a good message…I love it!!! Sharing it with friends for sure. Changing the mindset immediately makes a difference. Getting out of that negative head space is critical to all of life’s success and happiness. Feeling valued. Thank you!!
Great reminder, recognizing my mindset and reframing what I tell myself is so very important.
Excellent reminders. I think this would be a great read to learn more!
People don’t realize that by being in a state of unrest or uncomfortableness, are ‘silent’ opportunities for growth! Yes, it overall may be hard to face the issue straight on and it’s so much easier to avoid them. However, if we reflect on these moments that make us feel a certain way and recognize it’s an area for growth to become comfortable with then we won’t continuously have negative thoughts behind feeling a certain way.