A Bad Habit that Feels Good
Habits are automatic when life is steady. When you get up at the same time and in the same place, morning routines come naturally. But habitual behaviors evaporate when you go on vacation, for example.
Bad habits feel good at the beginning but grow heavy as time passes. The destructive habit of complaining feels powerful but eventually life grows dark, and you become toxic. The habit of overcommitting makes you feel important, but you end up hating life.
Good habits are formed intentionally. No one sets out to be a procrastinator, for example.
Good habits return benefits slowly. The benefits of useful routines don’t show up for weeks or months. Bad habits provide enjoyment quickly.
A bad habit is easy. Snacking at 10 p.m. doesn’t require discipline.
A doctor told me that people who break a habit replace it with another habit. Sometimes people replace smoking with food, for example.
When you decide to break a destructive habit, decide what you will do to replace it. Express gratitude when you hear yourself complaining. Ask a question when you feel yourself rushing to solve someone’s problem for them.
The bad habit of distraction:
The habit of focus serves leaders, but chasing urgencies is tempting. Guard your attention. Distraction is death.
Focus on what matters. Break the habit of chasing urgencies by determining what matters today. Other people tell you what matters if you don’t decide first.
Determine what matters before you show up for work.
Notice when you’re distracted. Decide what to do when you feel distractions pull. Make it simple and easy.
Learn how to focus by asking, “What does a person with focus believe, reject, and practice?”
How might leaders develop the habit of focus?
Are You Stuck in the Anxiety-Distraction Feedback Loop? – HBR
This is something I needed to hear today, Dan. Thank you for an enlightened and spot perfect topic. I can’t tell you how often I have “forgotten” to fill the void left by an abandoned bad habit. That’s like stepping from the frying pan into the fire most of the time. The bad habit itself is hard to break and suddenly I’m confronted with more problems. Why? Because I didn’t plan the bad habit exit strategy better. I feel excited about setting my goals this New Year!
“I didn’t plan the bad habit exit strategy.” Love it! Thanks for sharing, Elizabeth.
A dog chasing a tennis ball has focus.
Leaders need to focus on their top 1-to-3 priorities. Write them down–make then visible to you.
But can you have too much focus. Tunnel vision. It can lead you to miss other important things that are happening in your environment.
Chasing a tennis ball is a good thing if it’s your job. 🙂 Your comment gets me thinking about good focus/bad focus. A leader can be so focused on results that people are ignored, for example. Thanks, Paul.
Speaking of dogs…my understand of dog training changed when I understood that scolding doesn’t tell the dog what to do. You’ve said “don’t” but that leaves the dog a thousand possibilities to pick from of what to do. It’s dangerous to ask a dog to read your mind and try to guess what you do want.
What a great reminder that many animal training precepts are applicable to the human animal.
It’s so easy in so many situations to think about the don’t. Much harder to decide on what you really want. But so much more rewarding to focus on what I want.
Thanks for giving me that spark today!
Powerful reflection, Elizabeth. I’ve always felt that the “not” focus was a dead end. However, it can be useful when we are already doing the positive things that build the life we want. We just need to stop things that don’t serve.
You’ve added to my understanding of a negative focus. It still leaves a world of ambiguity. It’s so much clearer and empowering to focus on what we want. All we need is the clarity and courage to declare what we want for our team, organization, and our self.