How to Lead Negative People
E.B. White writes about his geese, “They badmouth everybody and everything. But they’re oddly companionable once you get used to their ingratitude and their false accusations.”
Negative people are like geese. They hiss when you approach. They assume the worst. They judge your motives.
A goose may honk your ear off. It’s tempting to withdraw, stop trying, or retaliate. But teams are full of imperfect people.
Reality Check
Stop expecting applause. Lead anyway.
Stop requiring perfect trust. Show up anyway.
Leaders deal with the world as it is, not as they wish it was.
Don’t let negativity win. Hissing may quiet. Maintain grit and preserve a forward-focus—even when negative people persist.
12 Ways to Face Negative People
- Pour energy into energy. Don’t squander energy.
- Treat people fairly—but focus your best energy on high and middle performers.
- Maintain forward-facing curiosity.
- Don’t take hissing personally.
- Show up calmly and consistently.
- Look for signs of companionable behavior beneath the noise.
- Prepare responses to negativity. Knowing what to say reduces stress and drag.
- Adopt shared strategies to build positive culture. Choose language and behaviors that fuel energy. When negative people complain about building positive culture, thank them and move forward.
- Don’t hide behind positivity. Bright cultures are built by confronting darkness.
- Seek outside voices. Use coaches. Connect with mentors. Tap the voice of experience.
- Refuel before you’re empty. Run as close to full as possible. Engage in energy-giving activities. Savor energy-building relationships.
- Be firm and direct with negative people especially if you can’t remove them.
Negative people may mean well, but their pull still drains teams.
How can leaders fuel their team’s energy? Their own?
3 Ways to Energize People During Conversations
Great Post! Needed this one today… thanks Dan!
Thanks Austin. Here’s to fueling positive energy today. Cheers.
very good – love the geese analogy.
#7 – what are some examples of prepared responses to negativity.
Great question, Mary. One prepared response has three steps.
1. Listen to understand.
2. Acknowledge what is said. Acknowledgement isn’t agreement. “I hear you saying… Am I on target?” (wait for their acknowledgement)
3. Ask a question. One powerful question is, “What do you want?” (sometimes that’s not appropriate.)
If it’s appropriate to explore someone’s concern say, “Tell me more.”
The question you ask sets the trajectory of the conversation. https://leadershipfreak.blog/2024/06/25/the-4-trajectories-seizing-the-intentional-future/
Tip: When you ask people what they want, they often tell you what they don’t want. That’s OK. Listen and say, “I hear what you don’t want, but what do you want.”
Just some thoughts. Thanks for asking.
hi Dan,
Your post is amazing. Is the very act of labeling someone ‘a negative person’ not an act of negativity? The salient point is that they (people) are *people * with their various foibles, biases, hopes, talents fears and ambitions . I am a navigator first so I will leave the labels and navigate a path
Cheers, Cate
Thanks for mentioning this, Cate. I could have said How to turn around negative conversations. Between you and I, I know some people who fall into negative easily. I know I can.