Confronting the Confidence Trap
Indecision parks the bus.
Confidence hits the gas.
Closed minds ignore the cliff.
The Confidence Trap
#1 Deceptive belief:
Believing something doesn’t make it true.
Belief feels powerful—it shapes perception. But if the map is wrong, you’re lost.
Check your assumptions. Challenge loud certainty.
#2 Destructive sincerity:
Sincerity isn’t moral high ground. You can be sincerely wrong.
Good intentions don’t guarantee good outcomes. A sincere mechanic can’t fix your teeth.
Sincerity without truth is destructive.
Combine sincerity with curiosity—What if I’m wrong?
#3 Unexamined certainty:
Unquestioned confidence kills adaptability.
Flexible leaders ask, “What am I missing?” Ego presses forward and suffers.
How to lead with confidence:
Ego makes certainty dangerous. Humility makes it useful.
Humble leaders value truth over ego.
- Invite constructive dissent.
- Welcome challenges.
- Seek alternative points of view.
Self-assurance isn’t about being right—it’s commitment to get it right.
Humility is open to being wrong.
- Don’t fake certainty; practice curiosity.
- Combine boldness with teachability.
- Anchor to evidence, not emotion.
Application:
Test your convictions in community. Listen to critics, but don’t obsess over them. You can’t please everyone.
Lead with conviction, not arrogance. Self-assurance explores questions. Bravado stifles dissent.
Be certain of your purpose, not your perfection.
Say, “I might be wrong, but I’m committed to learning what’s right.”
Self-assurance rooted in service—not self-importance—builds trust. Lead with purpose, not for glory.
People follow leaders who pursue what’s right but don’t need to prove they’re right.
Untested assumptions make leadership a runaway train.
What dangers of self-assurance do you see?
How can leaders determine if their self-assurance is healthy or destructive?
How to Build Confidence & Improve Performance
Dan my father said it’s a thin line between a hero and a bum. Probably a thin line between a great leader and a poor one. Confidence is required to succeed but needs to be kept under control and managed. Great post! Brad
Brad, your father was absolutely correct. When I used to coach HS sports, I would tell players there was a thin line between being confident and cocky. Humble confidence leads to proper preparation. Arrogant cockiness leads to getting your tail kicked!
Brad, your father is wise. If I could have learned that when I was young and CONFIDENT.
Great points Dan.
Be confident, but keep the door open to new information and fresh perspectives.
In my experience, it’s easier said than done. Too much confidence has closed my mind too many times.
Another Powerful post, Dan. So many gems of wisdom. I hope you don’t mind, I plan on quoting you a lot.
Thanks for your encouraging words, Deborah. Cheers.
Such a thoughtful post! It really makes me reflect on how confidence and humility go hand in hand, whether in leadership or even in small things like learning a new sport. I remember feeling this when I first picked up pickleball paddles — staying open to advice made all the difference.