You Can’t Be Too Kind
You can’t be too kind when kindness includes toughness.
Kindness without truthfulness means others run your life. Truthfulness without kindness makes you a jerk-hole.
Forget Balance
Don’t balance tough and tender. 50% truth is a lie. 50% kindness is manipulation.
Don’t show up being gentle one minute and a sledgehammer the next.
Kindness makes you miserable when you can’t confront difficult situations. Stress goes up. Relationships are fake. Pleasing sucks the life out of you.
Truthfulness without kindness pushes people away. Expectations are billy clubs. Anger permeates interactions.
Kindness and truth don’t compete; they’re glorious together.
Kindness
- Accepts people where they are.
- Provides time for growth.
- Listens with curiosity.
- Practices vulnerability.
- Seeks to advantage others.
Kindness gives life to hope.
Truthfulness
- Speaks honestly even when it’s uncomfortable.
- Expects growth.
- Maintains high standards.
- Expects people to keep commitments.
- Looks inward before speaking outward.
Truthfulness energizes progress.
You earn credibility when you know how to be tender and tough.
How to be Tough When You Prefer Being Kind
Great Leaders Use Tough Love to Improve Performance – HBR
Where do you lean?
How can you bring kindness and truthfulness together?
I loved this post! I try to bring kindness with every situation I approach in life and work, as well as empathy. It’s sometimes too easy for us to get caught up in our own lives and work. I often get waves of wonder; the realization that every person is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.
Finding wonder by appreciating others sounds delightful.
It’s good to see you back to giving feedback on comments – I was missing that.
Dan: I appreciate your blog and cannot fully express how timely this post was! As I plan my support of mathematics coaches for the next academic year, part of that is practicing the method and “temperature” of my feedback and debriefing. I am looking forward to making kindness and truth “glorious together.”