Feeling Unappreciated
Praise expresses approval. “Good job.”
Appreciation expresses value. “What you did matters.”
Praise and appreciation overlap. But praise leans toward performance. Appreciation leans toward the person.
Praise: “You handled that difficult conversation well.”
Appreciation: “I appreciate the courage you bring to difficult situations.”
Appreciation is fuel.
Unappreciated
It’s easy to feel unappreciated because no one appreciates you like you.
Hard work goes unnoticed. Sacrifices get overlooked.
Unappreciated people justify destructive behaviors. They…
- Do the minimum.
- Put self-interest ahead of the team.
- Burn out.
- Distrust leaders.
- Withdraw and eventually quit.
- May sabotage the organization and team.
Navigating Appreciation
Appreciation turns drudgery into commitment. But dependence on appreciation becomes life-sucking resentment.
Enjoy appreciation. Don’t demand it.
Serve because it’s who you are, not because it’s appreciated.
Proactive Appreciation
Don’t wait to receive appreciation. Show it.
- Give the respect you wish you received.
- Notice the contributions of others.
- Give credit generously.
- Express gratitude persistently.
- Do worthy work when applause is absent.
Don’t wait for people to appreciate you before becoming the person you aspire to be.
Project: Reflect on the impact feeling unappreciated has had on you. With that in mind, how can you appreciate others today?
How to Get the Appreciation You Deserve – Leadership Freak
10 Helpful Ways To Address Feeling Unappreciated at Work | Indeed.com
very true – it is so easy to just say “good job” or “thank you for the effort”.
Thanks Jim. Showing appreciation is a job in itself.
Great post – thank you Dan.
… Your proactive steps are great, like a garden they may take some time to yield their flowers.
Thanks, Ken. Playing the long game is a challenge. The short game seems more dramatic.
I love this!! Very convicting – In some instances, I have been the person to harbor resentment. And you are right, it posions to the well of our environment and our soul.
Thanks Travis. Your transparency is encouraging. I’m with you. Resentment is easy. I wonder if it’s one way to feel powerful? But it’s futile.
Excellent read this morning Dan! I especially love your quote, “Don’t wait for people to appreciate you before becoming the person you aspire to be.”
We don’t need anything in work, or in life really, to steal our joy and transform us into people we’re not.
Excellent: As a leadership advisor for the Army, this is a well taken topic within the federal system. Task and functionality drowns out the human perspective.
great post Dan – I Hadn’t thought about the difference between praise and appreciation in this way
thank you for this thought provoking piece today.