You Must be a Genius
I asked a leader I coach, “What do you want?” He shared three ideas. I followed with, “If you saw these things happening, what would you see.” He struggled for an answer.
It’s challenging to translate ideas into behaviors. Ironically, this leader is already great at what he wants others to do.
We worked to find an answer but kept landing on generalities.
He wants people to respect each other.
He’s great at showing respect. But he couldn’t describe it in action.
Genius
Finally, I said, “You must be a genius. A genius just knows.”
I asked him how he respects people. Without hesitation he said, “I ask them about their challenges.”
He shows respect by expressing interest in people. He continued, “I try to adapt to them.” He tries to see life through their lens.
Would you feel respected if someone showed interest in your challenges?
How would you know if people respected each other? They express interest in each other’s challenges.
Application
You may know more than you realize. When you can’t describe what good looks like, watch yourself doing it.
Reflect on your leadership. What is your genius?
Show Up Stupid – Leadership Freak
The Judgment Advantage Seton Hall
Dan, that story of coaxing an answer out of this leader sounds a bit like an MBTI exercise.
I recall from my MBTI training many years ago that for some people, the question, “Why is this subject so hard for you?” evokes a very different reaction from the question, “Can you tell me one thing that’s difficult about this subject for you?” Sometimes it’s a difference in abilities to focus on the abstract versus the concrete. Sometimes it’s a difficulty in digesting the whole but comfort with taking the whole apart.
I certainly found my understanding of things like MBTI types, the Five love Languages, and other models for appreciating differences among individuals useful in my times of leadership. Perhaps this is at least partially related to these kinds of personality features?
Wow, thank you for sharing your insight, Puyman! I wonder about beginning with abstract and moving to concrete?
The step from “respect” to asking about a colleague’s challenges gives both people something they can discuss afterward. I’d add a check: did the colleague feel heard, and did the leader act on what they learned? Otherwise an observable behavior can become another box to tick. I examine the gap between precise criteria and evidence of useful outcomes in my essay The Hiring Blind Spot, with hiring as the example. Readers interested can find it here: https://johnelijah1.substack.com/p/the-hiring-blind-spot
Good add, John. Thanks for jumping in.