One day long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away; you dreamed of greatness.
Maybe over time you lost your dream. One too many failures broke the camel’s back. One too many frustrations, distractions, responsibilities, or limitations put the last nail in your dream’s coffin.
You’ve given up. You’ve settled.
Why dreams die?
One reason dreams die is the Lone Ranger complex, trying to achieve dreams alone. Dreams rise in the heart of an individual however they find fulfillment in groups. You’ll be a Lone Ranger when you begin. You’ll be a team builder in order to finish.
Dream dreams that require teams.
If your dream centers on you, it’s too narrow. Reach beyond your current resources. When you’re tempted to pull back, don’t narrow the dream expand the team. Effective dreamers always gather followers and build teams.
Great teams form around compelling vision.
Ask, “How will we change the world?”
I just met with a young man who is becoming part of a “dream team.” I explained where I want to go. I let him know what’s in it for him. I laid out the possibilities of giving back to others. I told him stories that illustrate how the world will change and how we’ll change it. I’m inviting him to dream with me and dream for himself. He’s in! We’ll go further together than either of us will go alone. (From Feb. 2010)
Success factors for dreamers.
#1. Believe you matter.
#2a. Articulate your vision in language that invites others to see themselves as participants not observers.
#2b. Talk about what others can do more than what you have done.
#3. Focus on what you are achieving more than how you will achieve it.
Let’s build a list of key success factors for dream builders.
What kills dreams?
What keeps dreams alive?
How are dreams fulfilled?
Image source: unknown
This post is a rewrite of , “Don’t narrow the dream expand the team.”
What keeps dreams alive? Belief, hope, persistence, broad vision to see options, and action!
What kills dreams? Lack of confidence and uncertainty, fear of potential conflict, and truly unrealistic expectations. Remember dreams don’t come true overnight.
How are dreams fulfilled? Persistence, humility, and hard work.
Great question Dan. I love this post!
Enjoyed this bit, and love the topic and ideas presented here.
@Kate, I like this. I would add…
Yes, belief, but not just any belief. I you don’t mind my pickiness, I’d recommend beliefs that align with the desire, objective, dream. Beliefs that are in conflict with a dream (e.g., “My dream is to become a best-selling author” Combined with a belief like, “All best-selling authors get there by sheer luck.” will result in stress, and most probably a delay in achievement). I assume that you meant positive beliefs by your statement.
As far as persistence, I am careful with this one, too. Persistence must extend to seeking understanding of self and interactions, as well as actions. Persistence of action alone can cause more stress, if, for example, it only means bumping up against false or limiting beliefs or something like low self-value over and over again. Some persistence in reviewing and revising limiting thoughts is as equally or more important than persistence in action.
Broad vision? I agree! Especially when that includes some depth in terms of short-term vs. long-term gains and costs!
I completely agree on your take on what kills dreams, and I would add: overestimating the pain of cost vs. benefit. Many folks fear discomfort, and sometimes big gains are scuttled because this. Ouch.
How are dreams fulfilled? Like your take here too, and would add that it is very powerful to have a dream beyond the dream. Where will this dream head? How will I/we build on it? What’s next? This sets up the psyche to believe that success is a given, for we are already “a dream ahead.”
Kind regards to all…
Desire Engine Model
I dream of creating a reality show helping job seekers discover their value and worth (http://srkinc.com/treatment.pdf).
It’s becoming a reality:
here’s my first National TV appearance 🙂
Stay tuned … We’re going to create unemployment by creating priceless employees!
sorry I meant to say you’re right on with your message Dan, your approach is exactly how I am achieving this dream!
Thank you for telling it!
RIGHT ON Alan, great idea!
Great post Dan!
Team oriented dreams are movements… revolutions per se. While individual dreams and goals are important for self improvement, team dreams enable the big picture to become a reality.
I believe that self-centered dreams that are focused on short term gratifications are huge killers of dreams. Some may progress at rapid rates in the very beginning…but never sustain.
As for the fuel that enables an ongoing dream to continue its path, I’d have to say that passion is the key factor. If the dream team is truly passionate about what they work together on, I believe that their dreams become realities, in addition to new opportunities that they’ve never imagined!
Dreams are fulfilled when its focus is dedicated to help others achieve a common goal. It does line up with the cliche “Together Everybody Achieves More” – and I believe that acronym to be in place for a good reason. As a dream team continues to work on accomplishing getting to each milestone, it has a perpetuating effect… a snowball (shiver) factor if you will.
Thanks again… I’m looking forward to seeing what others have to say about this.
One of the most valuable post i read, i wanted to highlight your idea, that big dreams require teams, and teams are not built overnight, and need resources, sacrifices, and calm energy!
Thanks a lot,
Once again, you have touched upon a very interesting topic and would get a good appreciation from LF Community Readers.
Good dreams need to be given a reality shape and should be shared with select team of followers. Effective leaders achieve their dreams by showing the success path and developing the trusted team of deliverables. It’s an enjoyable journey to believe the leader and to be lead. It calls for highest level of faith, persistent good efforts with focus and willingness to learn from mistakes.
Successful leaders always chase their dreams and are also known as Day Dreamers!
It is the “Belief” that makes or breaks the dream. Belief generates willingness or unwillingness to be passionate or passive towards dream. So, the deciding driver that either kills or livens dream is our intention, approach and will power. Optimistic thoughts, positive approach and strong willpower change dream into reality. And the same driver with disbelief breaks dream.
Belief becomes stronger with moral support of turstworthy family, friends and collegues. So, self belief with trustworthy support make perhaps impossible dreams into reality. So, valueable belief is the key to achieve even impossible dreams.
In case of repeated failure of dreams, it is the value that supports belief. So, Belief without value is weak driver and belief with strong value is strong driver and inspirer. Dreams are fulfilled with perseverance, passion and determination. Dreams die in absense of direction or vision. Therefore, aligned dream with goal strengthens passion, power, dedication to change dream into reality.
Fear can kill dreams when it is not overcome or properly dealt with. Not knowing, not doing your homework. Allowing ideas and questions to remain nebulous instead of bringing them into focus. Dreams can be idealistic and fuzzy and need to be tempered in the real world to bring into reality. It’s important to identify the possibilities and realistically what is necessary to get there. Without those first steps, the dream remains in the nebulous world and never moves into the physical.
Love, confidence/faith and enthusiasm keep dreams alive. And to keep these alive, we need little successes along the way.
A dream, or any goal, is not achieved in one giant leap. It is achieved in bite sized pieces. Baby steps with little benchmarks of achievement and successes are important. Each positive benchmark goes into our bank of experiences and feeds the enthusiasm, momentum and direction we seek. Those little successes are very important to both keep the dream alive, and to fulfill it.
A timely post Dan! Working out one myself!
Great subject about dream BUILDER.
Dreams depend on this : BUILD! Dreams must be linked to reality, space and time.
1.”What kills dreams?”
I think dreams are killed when people don’t believe in their selves.
2.”What keeps dreams alive?” -FAITH
3.How are dreams fulfilled?
By work and courage.
Thank you for sharing.
With kind regards,
When reading the posts today, the question came, of what things are dreams made?
I envisioned music and dance, both while somewhat transient or ephemeral experiences that are best fulfilled by focused, passionate and engaged individuals functioning as one. The music once played, or the dance once performed is complete and gone in a moment. And yet, the passion and experience sustains, have been shared and passed on for another evolution.
Successful music, dance and vision require often unanticipated levels of investment, resources, dedication and above all prep work. For musicians, it may be hundreds of hours of practice for 90 minutes of performance. Same for dance only less performance time. Julia spoke of the bite-sized pieces, lots of those. There also, at some point, is a leap of faith in that vision, in that dance. When you have to jump. That is the Lone Ranger Dan speaks of…the rider of the first wave. And, if both lucky, observant and planful, you find other like-minded riders to share that wave, that piece of performance.
In that regard, it may be that it is not so much that I matter, but what I do in my relationships with others that truly matters, that advances the vision and converts the dreams into reality. Great fun, what it is all about.
Excellent-This is one of your best posts! This speaks to those who are mid career, having life crash in around them, and settling for getting by. It should speak to anyone with a dream.
Parents with the best intentions can kill dreams early. We were blessed with some outside influences (ladies at church, books) that convinced us to be enablers for our children. The last thing we wanted was for our kids to go through life wishing they had pursued a dream but took the safe path to make us happy.
Thanks for sharing.
What kills dreams?
What keeps dreams alive?
How are dreams fulfilled?
I think the often, dreams are not so much “killed” as they expire of neglect. I got my first passport at age 18. I didn’t have a trip planned, just assumed an opportunity would present itself to travel. I turn 46 next month and I had to completely reapply since so much time had elapsed, when I renewed my passport. I was not making intentional steps toward achieving a situation that would necessitate use of my passport.
I reinvigorated the dream after a talk with Scott Ginsberg (aka the Nametag Guy). He advised me to write down my three main goals, and put them in my wallet, so they are always physically close to me. I could be at a party talking to someone who may end up supporting (just emotionally or perhaps financially) my dream of going to Guatemala to visit our family’s sponsored child. This dream is going to make itself front and center sooner, knowing that that piece of paper is sitting there. (More on Guatemala and Scott at my blog: http://waytenmom.blogspot.com/2010/01/its-guatemala-night.html)
How is my dream going to be fulfilled? Despite some fits and starts, resulting in me moving the trip from December 2010 to July 2011, the organization has my application and my deposit check. The little piece of paper in my wallet has been a “beacon” of sorts guiding me back every time my plans tended to wander other directions.
So, intentionality and including others (as you say, Dan, creating a team).
sometimes we are the cause to let the dream not be realised by the limitations poeple put inour life by less of Teamwork and less of trust in Jesus who gave poeple the Dreams and who will continue the realisation of his vision…
Sometimes Jesus wants to realise his vision or dream in our lives coz he has the best for us he knows our past what we r passing through now and our future he simply understands us but the problem will be revealed when we don’t see the vision anymore and don’t hear what Jesus wants we will hear what the flesh and we want and that is not from God all his dreams will have good fruits for his glory for freedom and healing and victory … every leader in hisory saw the vision by faith even if everything is telling the opposite by sight : succesful leaders dream big act as a team and see others potentials by helping to achieve Jesus plan for them and for nations to be saved…….
Dan, this post is a 3 pointer at the buzzer for a “W” in the win column!
I’ll assume everyone on LF was chock-full of dreams following graduation, but had little to no clue as to HOW to achieve these dreams.
When I graduated the first time in 1972, the EPA and OSHA were still in their infancy. The world of safety, occupation health and environment were wide open and all of us in the field had dreams of stopping injuries and illnesses and creating a much healthier environment. I’ll let you all decide how things have turned out 40 years later – some good and some bad, in my opinion.
Dan, you need to grow this Dreams concept into a required academic course for all graduating high school and college seniors with an emphasis on the HOW. The students will come up with the WHAT – Dreams.
In closing, let me share a quote my Father told me at graduation about Dreams:
“Age in mind, dreams left behind.”
And another from Les Brown (American Author and Motivational Speaker)
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
Have a safe and relaxing weekend…
Dan this is arguably your best post and the responses from the LF community are very inspiring. What kills dreams? Well the first thing to consider is whether your dream is realistic and by that I don’t mean never shoot for the stars because we do need to reach beyond our grasp as the poets say. However even though my dream has always been to play center for the LA LAKERS, get real I am 5’6″ and that will never happen no matter how many people I enlist on the team unless one of them is Gulliver and I get to play on the LLIPUTIAN TEAM. That is more like “daydreaming” and no one reaches destinations unless we are awake. So the message is don’t auto-destruct your dream from the start because it is not realistic from the get-go. The next thing to consider is the make up of your “dream team.” yes it may be YOUR DREAM but more than likely you won’t have all the expertise to both get there and get there sooner better than later. You can own the boat even have the map but multiple folks rowing in synchrony will help you get there faster and maybe get there at all if the journey is long and far. Reckless dreams result from reckless recruitment. Those are the two key ingredients for me as barriers to fulfilling your dream: Be realistic and commit the right folks with the diversely needed skill set.
What keeps dreams alive? Passion, persistence, not letting obstacles distort our view taking our eyes away from our goal. Staying alert and committed, ready to handle the inevitable speed bumps and the resilience to stay the course. True dreams don’t have time-tables or milestones until you arrive.
What fulfills your dreams? Deriving joy and energy from your efforts and those whom you have engaged allowing your dream to become theirs. Your dreams will become not only reality but sustainable and enduring when the enlisted collective embrace it. Be real, unite, and dream on! Regards Al
>What kills dreams?
It’s the self-belief.
If I believe, dreams as merely dreams.
>What keeps dreams alive?
It’s the self-belief.
If I believe, dreams as opportunities/possibilities and act towards it.
>How are dreams fulfilled?
Again, it’s the self-belief.
If I keep alive my self-belief, till I fulfill my dreams.
“Dreams rise in the heart of an individual however they find fulfillment in groups.”
Loved this one.
As I have been saying a lot lately, great ideas are the product of one single visionary’s mind, but it takes a team of like-minded individuals to bring them to reality.
Hi Dan, my bride Carla had forwarded this post to me because she knows my heart for the dream and the vision. You have inspired me to jot down some of the key ideas I have learned on my journey in visioneering.Perhaps they will be a welcome addition to all the wisdom posted here. I am sure as I reflect further more nuggets will reveal themselves. Thanks for starting the conversation and exchange of ideas. Bill
Keys parts of dreambuilding and visionquest;
1. A dream is an unfulfilled need, wish, want or desire.
2. The dream must become a vision for manifestation to begin.
3. A vision is when the dream moves from your head to your heart.
4. The dream movement from head to heart is directly related to a cause that is bigger than yourself
yet again some great insight from Dan,thanks for the inspiration.
Thanks again Dan! You are one of the best! Great points and so true. I pray to be the kind of person that makes others-dreams come true. Keep it up! You are new every morning!!
And you my friend are a source of refreshing encouragement.