The Right Way to be Wrong
The great coach John Wooden said, “I’m positive that a doer makes mistakes.”
Challenge
Too many mistakes and you lose credibility. Too few mistakes and you’re dead in the water, you can’t lead.
5 ways to get good at mistake making
- Don’t make the mistake of letting your mistakes defeat you. Maintain momentum and enthusiasm even when you fail. Churchill wisely said, “Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.”
- Don’t pretend you know when you don’t. Rather than pretending, proclaim your ignorance. Say things like, “I’ve never led a marketing team before but I’m up for the challenge.” Making mistakes is easier if others know you don’t know.
- Celebrate your successes and your mistakes. Celebrating mistakes freaks people out and that’s always fun. In addition, stories of your mistakes can be humors, endearing, and most importantly, educational. Finally, explaining a good screw-up before sharing a success prevents you from looking arrogant.
- It’s a mistake to run from mistakes. After owning a mistake, begin the next sentence, “Next time …” Eli Siegel observed, “If a mistake is not a stepping stone, it is a mistake.”
- Please don’t be a whining, cry baby. You look weak when you make excuses. It’s better to, “Admit your errors before someone else exaggerates them,” Andrew V. Mason.
Everyone wonders, “What if I make a mistake?” The better question is what if you don’t?
How can people become good mistake makers?
Dear Dan,
Repeated mistakes break credibility and new mistakes provide opportunity to learn. Even on repeated failure, do not lose confidence. Repeated or continuous success may not teach you but repeated mistakes teach you that there are other ways possible to do the things right. On the other hand, success narrow down options and teaches that this is only option. So, in the given situation, failures provide options and success close options. I absolutely agree that when you do not know, do not pretend to know t, simply accept it and that approach increases credibility. Do not pretend to be somebody else in order to create impression. Even if you are able to create that impression, you will always be fearful of being exposed. Celebration of failures relieve you from stress, disturbance and actually make you more transparent, open and trustworthy.
Even if you make mistake, accept it but do not appear lost. Appear wise and confident.
I think people can become good mistake makers by not repeating the mistakes. At the same time, learning from mistake and assumption behind that mistakes make people mature.
Great post! I’m partial to #3 (avoid arrogance at all costs!) and #5 (No Excuses!). Love this list.
I think that good leaders are gracious about mistakes. If someone else catches your error, don’t just talk about how you are going to improve your processes to eliminate mistakes but thank the person that discovered it. Talk about how this type of teamwork where everyone assists everyone else is what makes your entire organization great. Not only does it encourage people to be open about the problems they see, it creates an environment where each person’s mistakes can be looked at as a learning opportunity instead of a failure.
“Celebrating Mistakes” – yes, that’s it! I love it, Dan.
You know, as a motorcycle driver, you have to not just accept, but embrace the fact that it’s not if but when you and that bike will go down.
A motorcycle driver who has not embraced and mentally prepared for that simple fact is just not as safe of a driver. Nervousness is not a luxury you can afford on two wheels at high speeds. Either you’re one with that bike, or you’re not. And if you’re not, you’re not in control.
Embracing the fact that – if we are doers, we will make mistakes – is not a crossing over to the dark side. It is as committed and mentally preparing as it is when a rider strides that bike and takes it out on the road, knowing that there are many traffic possibilities and that we can even be blind-sided.
There’s also knowing that just because you drop a bike, doesn’t mean someone will lose a limb or die. Fear focuses on the worst case scenario as the only reality. When you’ve made the commitment to ride, you acknowledge but combat worse case scenarios by becoming hyper aware and hyper committed. You note every detail in your peripheral vision, “driving for others” knowing other may not see you, plan your route, install highway pegs, wear protective gear, avoid riding in dangerous weather, etc..
Good riders note important information from their experiences. Even seemingly small things can be warning signs. Loose gravel on the corner of Main and 1st street, blind spot at exit 354, maple leaves are slippery when wet with dew and that row of trees can present a hazard in the morning, rain feels like sand at high speeds, loose spokes are very dangerous, know where your gas stations are along your route (most bikes don’t have a gas gauge and the reserve tank will only take you so far), pack water and a snack in case you get stranded pushing a bike – it’s hard work, etc..
It is the same for embracing the knowledge that there will be mistakes and being committed to the process anyway. It’s not if, but when. And just like the rider, we can avoid the worse case scenario that immobilizes us by being committed, aware, observing the small details and learning from our experiences along the way.
Hi Julia,
I like most of what you’ve written here. A rider myself (and my wife is too), I could agree that we’ll all drop our bikes (we both have) but going down at speed as an eventuality? No thanks. I don’t like that as a good vibrational/psychological setup.
We ride as if we are playing chess, with the attention to detail that you describe, always thinking as many moves ahead (of other drivers and the changing conditions) as we can. We feel present and safe on the bike, because we set ourselves that way before taking the seat, and we know how we’re going to approach the riding experience.
Have we taken rider safety courses? Have we practiced evasive maneuvers in empty parking lots? Sure! But not for the eventuality. This is for additional confidence and automatic response should the unforeseen happen. We’ve had some close calls, and preparation and careful attention helped hold them at “close.”
So, no “when” for me; I’ll keep it at “if,” thanks. If it happens, I’ll have prepared, and hope it helps that I have, but my attitude is going to stay at sober, present, joyful, fun, intending and visualizing safe riding, while practicing skills to keep it that way.
Kind Regards,
Mark
You make some great suggestions and points in this post, Dan. I would add one additional wrinke/angle to this post, and that is that a good mistake maker does not overapologize. I know this is something I have struggled with -jumping to apologize even if I was not in the wrong – something to placate the person who has questions/concerns/gripes about whatever was done wrong. So I think one key would be to, after any necessary apology, become skilled at crafting an action plan and reviewing that with the people involved -after the initial strong emotions settle.
Coincidentally, I wrote a blog this week based on the prompt “talk about a time when you were wrong.” In the piece, I discuss a time when my words were right but my timing, setting, and intent were all 100% wrong. http://waytenmom.blogspot.com/2011/02/big-fishs-best-friend-mama-kat-writers.html
Happy Friday, LF community.
Mistakes are just mini failures. Unless you string a bunch of mistakes together and don’t learn anything from them, ultimate failure is inevitable.
But mistakes are just the price of doing business. Learn from them and move on.
Don’t beat yourself up.
-Matt
When I commit mistakes, the best thing I can do is admit it, understand why it happened, and explain it to my team. I don’t like to dump responsibility on someone else, or just minimize it and get over it. I agree that a mistake has to be taken for how it is, and solved/worked around accordingly.
This post is very helpful, because I’ve been making many mistakes, but I still work hard on learning from them, and sill work hard to keep my enthusiasm. Thank you for writing this post!!!
Dear Dan,
Good thought-provoking thoughts in this post. It’s said that you are not progressing if you are not committing mistakes. It means that you are playing very safe and have become complacent of not risking future. Yet, good palnning with eye for details can help you avoid mistakes. Moreover, always involve others and preferably experienced people/ experts in critical decisions and execution.
Other solution of avoiding mistakes is create and develop a team of trusted people who will make things happen with sheer determination and planned efforts.
Mistakes make you learn from your failures and can help you to bounce back with immense energy and the will to succeed. Never ever get discouraged and/or give up the goal.
Dan, this is such a key area of leadership. My father was an engineer so a lot of my early messages seemed to be that “mistakes were bad.” Perhaps this mentality was also more prevalent as part of the industrialized era. In the past 10 years or so the dialog has shifted to focus more on strengths and to focus away from the blame associated with mistakes to a healthier sense of learning and moving forward.
The key seems to be in the learning from our mistakes. Zenger and Folkman talk about in their book The Extraordinary Leader talk about five fatal flaws. Number one is the inability to learn from your mistakes. They site that this inability is the single biggest cause of leadership failure on a personal level.
The point I would make is that we are not so much embracing, celebrating, acknowledging our mistakes as we are what we learned from them. It is by actively cultivating an atmosphere of learning that we have the chance to transform ourselves and our organizations.
Jim
Variation on #2…”I have led quite a few team, but not specifically marketing, so your expertise is pivotal to the success of this project.”
#3 is my fav, it is the most fun and very outside ‘normal’ frames of reference. Leaders need PMP…preemptive mistake planning. As a part of the initial project review plan for mistakes, responses to mistakes and how you will learn from them AND then be very open, saying, ‘we know mistakes will happen, let’s try it and see what we learn and need to change.’
If you walk that talk, you have started the shift of your culture to an ongoing learning environment, which can be very healthy. Command and control cultures will follow up the mistakes with finger pointing and blame which is the antithesis of a learning system. Most research out there indicates that somewhere around 90% of the mistakes made are systems issues…and who is running the system?
We can’t learn if we don’t try something new, and make a few mistakes along the way. You probably don’t remember learning to walk, (but your mother remembers), but you can remember learning to ride a 2-wheeler. How many times did you fall off? But you learned a lot about balance in the process, and eventually you hardly ever fell off. Life progresses for each of us as we learn, and we learn by making mistakes. Another great Article “Leadership Freak!”
Hi Dan,
At the highest level, are many mistakes really mistakes? I mean, seems to me that what many of us call a “mistake” is merely an outcome that we didn’t consciously desire or face the desire for.
Interestingly, I’ve coached folks that make the same “mistakes” over and over again until we get to the point wherein the client sees the *payoff* of getting the “undesirable result.” Turns out, that the result is undesirable on ONE level, but in fact has a payoff on another.
Since without “mistakes” we might not otherwise bring the less-conscious to more consciousness, and further define our preferences, well, perhaps many mistakes are given a bad name…
Leaders would do well, I think, to carefully consider the opportunities each failure provides, and try and wring the most value out of each of them, while alleviating the almost obligatory, ritualized heaviness that often accompanies horrific events like “post-mortem” meetings.
This heaviness (generally inversely proportional in magnitude to the level of self-actualization, self-value, and self-confidence in the room) ends up robbing creativity and energy needed for corrections/solutions. Regardless of the seriousness of a mistake’s impact on the bottom line, negative emotions and self-immolating thoughts aren’t all that helpful at arriving at the better solutions.
I’m reminded of a Thomas Watson, Jr (IBM President) anecdote: A Vice President who had lost IBM $10 million on an experimental business failure was called to Watson’s office. Expecting to be fired. The VP took his letter of resignation with him and gave it to Watson, who flatly refused it. As the story goes, Watson then said something like, “Why would we want to lose you? We’ve just spent $10 million on your education!”
Leave it to me to complicate things, huh Dan? 🙂
I agree whole-heartedly with your post, Dan. Let’s face it–we’re human and we all make mistakes (I’m not attempting to quote that 80’s song). I have found this to be important in the customer service field as well. We have to own up to it, LEARN FROM IT and decide what to do differently next time.
Great thoughts here. I love the part about celebrating our mistakes. We grow and learn from our failures. Making mistakes shows that we are human.
Hi
I like the 5 ways you mentioned in your post:)
Pingback: I’m with stupid…mistakes are good! | AMIconsultancy
Great Post Dan,
I really appreciate your point about not letting mistakes defeat you. I think sometimes we are hardest on ourselves when we make mistakes, which often cripples us from the work we should be doing.
Great article, Thanks
Randell
Such a great post. Every stumbling block can be used as a stepping stone.
Dan, Great idea, yet some of the verbage that advises to “make making mistakes easier” may mislead some away from the constructive intent of the excellent points.
The road of life and any endeavor within it is full of potholes and distractions. Mistakes are invevitable and can be well addressed with the points you elucidated. The key is how to prepare for their inevitability, how to avoid them, how to learn from them by using these principles.
Randy,
Thanks for jumping in on this one. I appreciate your word of caution.
Thanks again for adding value.
Cheers,
Dan
Words to live by! #3 has to be my personal favorite.
Thank you for your encouragement. I enjoy reading your blog each time you put it out. This post reminds me of what my Father used to say to me: “If you haven’t learned from your mistakes – then it has been a bad day. If you have learned something from your mistakes – then it has been a great day!”
Mark,
Thanks for the encouragement.
Enjoy,
Dan
I’ve just come across this article and it’s great. Mistakes come from new experience, a vital part of the leadership process, the creative and innovative process. When I make a mistake, I’m the first to admit it and my mistakes often become my best teaching points!
Totally Agree Excuses makes us look weak!
thanks!… cheers
Good, practical thoughts to lead daily life, both personal and at work. The person who knows that he does not know actually “knows”. And the person who doesn!t know that he does not know actually “knows not”.
I’ve just found this post and I have to say that you are so correct. I think it’s important to note that the entire “12 Step Program” Is based on your willingness to embrace your mistakes and learn from them. I don’t think there is anyone who really understands how helpful mistakes are until you learn something from them. And a lot of times, it’s much later before the light bulb goes off and you’re like “oh. well. that mistake wasn’t so bad!”
Mistakes, you have to love them even when they hurt. Behind every mistake or failure is a lesson that may be hard to learn any other way. They are the secret weapon of great learners. Love the post Dan✔
Excellent post. Leaders must model a confident response to failure. Someone tweeted in a chat I participated in “FAIL – First Attempt In Learning”. If we want to succeed, we must first be brave enough to fail and confident enough to make the most of our failure. Thanks for sharing!
Love this!
Another great post, I am an avid reader but never posted.
I used to be so guilty of this one ‘Don’t pretend you know when you don’t.’ when I think back I realise what an ass I used to be.
Keep up the great blog.
Dan,
As always, insightful and appropriate work! Mistakes are “group brain storming” or “active thought” in motion. How does a group think aloud, without making mistakes? How does an individual test their own creativity, without making a mistake? When we are free to be honest in our mistakes, we increase learning potential to ourselves and to others, through information and insight gained in our effort… Thanks Dan!