Gathering options without creating obligations
The next time someone tells you what to do, ask them if they are prepared to take responsibility for any negative consequences. If that doesn’t soften their tone, chances are they are an idiot. Ignore them.
I’m tossing around the idea of creating a leader’s council. A group of people from the nonprofit I lead that offers insights regarding strategic decisions. I’m asking them for options. I’m not asking them to tell me what to do. Options are considerations with pros and cons. Options are not directives.
Warning
Asking others what you should do begins a potentially adversarial conversation where someone wins and another loses.
The answer to, “What should I do?” is an obligation.
More not less
Let everyone know they aren’t the only ones in the feedback processes. Ask those giving options if they know others you could ask. Look for options from inside and outside your organization.
Be Prepared
The more options you seek the more you’ll be saying no. Don’t seek more options if you make consensus decisions. If members of your organization believe leaders are puppets you have bigger problems than making decisions.
Less not more
Include more not less while seeking options. Include less not more in the final decision. Effective decisions require a single point of accountability and responsibility.
Which option
Most challenges have more than one solution. Mission, vision, and values are the basis for all strategic decisions. Decision makers ask which option:
- Best fulfills mission
- Fully aligns with values
- Expresses momentum toward vision
Don’t bother
Effective decision-makers selflessly act with the best interest of the organization in mind. If you’re a selfish, self-promoting leader, everyone knows that gathering options is a façade.
**********
Have you asked for “advice” and found yourself obligated to follow that advice? What did you do?
How do you gather options without obligating yourself to follow every option presented?
**********
Don’t miss a single issue of Leadership Freak, subscribe today. It’s free. It’s private. Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe. Your email address is always kept private. Note: if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.
Hi Dan,
I’m not a big fan of “should” thinking anywhere in my life. I *am* a fan of suspending judgement, seeking understanding, gathering options, and taking appropriate action.
Have I found myself obligated after asking advice?
Not much. That’s less of a concern to me than the feelings of folks who are contributing their suggestions. It’s not me I’m worried about, as I will ultimately do what I consider is appropriate. If possible, though, I like to help set the level of expectation and what I am looking for when I’m asking for input. I like team-members or contributors to know that I value them and their thoughts, regardless of if I use their suggestions or not.
How do I gather options without incurring obligation?
I often suggest to a group or an individuals:
“There must be a way…”
“I wonder if we could find a way to…”
“How come we keep getting stuck in this one spot…”
“Have you even come across this situation in your work?”
I like to encourage dialog.
If someone offers a “should” statement to me, I’ll often respond by saying something like, “I value your experience, and I’m going to carefully consider your suggestion as I continue to gather information about my situation: I’m considering this the ‘information gathering stage’ of my project, and am reserving some time before I make my decision on what action to take.” This acknowledges the expertise or perceptions of the contributor, while revealing something of my methods and setting expectations.
I like the topic. 🙂
Dear Dan,
Maximise options while collecting and minimise options while selecting. I agree with the idea. less options make one more focussed and enable to take decision. When people are not ready to take negative feedback then it is better to avoid them, otherwise sooner or later they will show their color. Usually misleaders attempt to take full credit in case of success and hold others responsible and accountable in case of failure.
Yes I have asked for advice from my friend who is younger to me. I take her advice carefully. I take negative feedback more constructively. I appreciate and encourage to provide more and more feedback. In the process, I learn to be more humble, human and connected.
I think, I can gather options without obligating by being open, transparent and honest. I should respect the person giving options and take his or her options willingly.
I asked for advice from several people & went with the advice I thought best suited me not caring about if the person is upset by my decision.
Hi Dan, I ususally get your ‘stuff’ straight up. Maybe it’s Monday morning-itis, but I had to print and read this one slowly. In the end I agree and enjoy the contributions from Mark and Ajay.
To this I add: Don’t ask when you are not going to listen (Don’t ask for options when you have made the decision). If you can’t be open don’t open yourself up (Don’t ask for options). And putting the mirror to much – beware of the Victims triangle – the person who asks for a solution knowing you can’t provide one and then persecutes you for misleading them or not asisting them.
Finally, Dan – you crack me up: “If that doesn’t soften their tone, chances are they are an idiot!” I just might turn that into a wall poster.
Richard
Dan;
Sounds like you are considering a board of directors. Why not have a consortium of minds to help direct. The concept of providing direction is to have multiple options to choose from. I’ve worked to build a board of directors for my own professional path. They are a group of trusted mentors and colleagues who have committed to be there for me. When I need advice, or multiple perspectives, I use them as a sounding board. They all have varied backgrounds and experiences and the responses they give me help shape my direction, but it does not dictate my direction.
There is always a better way and there is always more than one solution! Another point of note is that the best solution may be a combination of ideas not just “Either-Or”.
As part of his highschool project, a 16 year old teenager discovered a new combination of drugs that could be used to treat cystic fibrosis. This is according to an article that appeared in the Toronto Star.
Another great post!
Redge,
Love finding your insightful comments scattered around the Leadership Freak community.
Cheers,
Dan
Dan – love the topic, thanks.
Do you have other thoughts/ideas related to combating a culture of consensus-driven decision making (not saying I’ll implement them all 🙂 )?
I have not had much success with asking directly for options, particulary with delivery focussed people. Not everyone is wired to generate alternatives or consider all the angles, and I often end up in one of the dilema’s Dan mentions.
What work better for me is to find the question that will put the team in the right headspace. This often relates to a shared vision, objective or some other common ground. It is then easier to guide a discussion to achieve a good outcome. This seems to balance leadership with consensus.
It is interesting to hear how other people do this.
Hi Allan,
Thanks for your comment and creating a new dimension to think about.
Best to you,
Dan