9 Questions that Create Connections

She was reading at two, a University of California sophomore at 17, and speaks eight languages. Pam Fox Rollin didn’t sound arrogant but I wondered if in her younger days she was – so I asked.  She said, “Not arrogant, pompous.”

Pompous sounds like arrogant only worse; Pam agreed. Four short words helped me understand one expression of her past youthful pomp, “I used long words.”

Losing a friend

Humility transforms pain points
into growth points.

Pam lost a friend during her UC Davis days. Debbie told Pam to put people more highly on her list than ideas. With that it was over. Pam didn’t arrogantly blame her friend; she humbly looked at herself.

Success may hinge on stopping something

Pam said she learned that using long words was getting in the way of connecting with others. “I simplified my language.”

The things that make you exceptional hinder your success if they block connections.

Rule 16: Get Over Yourself

Pam’s written, “42 Rules for your new Leadership Role.”

“Your team members will give you the goods only to the degree they trust you to act in their best interests. Find out who they are and what they want.”

9 Questions that Create Connections

  1. What are you working on?
  2. What do you enjoy the most and least about your job?
  3. What is going well on this team? What is going less well?
  4. How could this group be even more successful?
  5. What do you do well? What do you want to do more of?
  6. What do you do less well? What do you want to do less of?
  7. What helps you be most productive?
  8. Where do you want to be professionally in five to ten years?
  9. What do you think you need to do to get there?

How do you get over yourself in ways that help you connect with others?

Read Pam’s thoughts on building tomorrow’s success today: “Five Proven Steps to Tomorrow’s Win.”