Avoid 4 Dangers of Impatience – Still Get Things Done
Show me a leader with patience and I’ll show you someone people trust.
Dealing with people requires patience. They’re putting up with you all the time.
4 dangers of impatience:
- Fractured relationships.
- Fear driven results. (Not entirely a bad thing. A little fear goes a long way.)
- Excuses for rudeness.
- Coming off as arrogant. If you’re constantly frustrated with people, you’re an arrogant ass.
Patience isn’t weak, doesn’t accept mediocrity or tolerate lethargy.
Patient leaders are easy-going and tenaciously persistent.
Patience:
- Reaches anger slowly. Leaders who constantly control frustration aren’t patient. They’re self-controlled.
- Provides time for improvement.
- Shows respect for the process.
- Trusts others to rise up. The past predicts the future when it comes to rising up.
- Focuses on solutions, progress, and development. Impatience just gets it done.
- Endures – keeps trying when others give up. I’d rather have a patient teammate than a flashy one.
- Loves people. The heart of patience is love.
- Kicks butt kindly.
- Remains quiet under stress. Frantic is weak. Patient is strong.
- Lets others struggle, but watches for drooping shoulders and sagging hearts.
Bonus: Patient leaders take responsibility for failure and work to prevent it from happening again.
Patient leaders deal with imperfection while moving forward.
Patience is not:
- Playing dead to mediocrity.
- Sweeping problems or issues under the carpet.
- Showing irritation but saying, “Don’t worry about it.”
- Withdrawal
- Neglect.
Show patience when:
- Progress is satisfactory and ongoing.
- Passion for improvement burns hot.
- Talent searches for it’s place.
- New responsibilities are assumed or assigned.
- Others are frustrated with failure.
- Planning. Go slow at the beginning so you can go fast at the end.
- Trying hard falls short.
Bonus: Show patience when failure is the result of inexperience, lack of training, or sincerely taking on too much.
Failures that surround you may point to your lack of leadership.
How is patience strengthening your leadership?
How much patience is too much?
Patience with an acknowledgement of progress and/or expectation of result is something I’ve found powerful.
“I appreciate the progress, its promising… timing is important too, can we complete this by the 30th?”
Your “Patience is not” Section is valuable
Thanks Ken. Your sentence helps me see patience in action. Very helpful.
I love the solitude runner picture brings back memories! Patience can be developed some people need pushed, I have often told my children patience and they look at me like how do you know? Later they thank me! We are pushed so hard no one seems to have patience anymore, just get it done at all costs, seems to be the way the world turns! Behind the scenes many individuals are involved some have patience and some do not! I’ve learned more than once the patience and persistence work hand in hand. “Give the bread time and it will rise”!
Thanks Tim. I hadn’t heard the “bread rising….,” saying. Nice! The ability to just put one foot in front of the other has great value in my book. Cheers
“bread rising” Grandma’s Kitchen, she baked a lot! So patience can develop if given time too!
This one really stings! It seems the older I get, the more impatient I become. Shouldn’t it work the other way? lol. I agree with patience with progress. I think I am the most impatient when I feel I don’t have any influence on the situation. I guess when I can’t help the with the problem then I get frustrated. My frustration leads to my impatience. My friend and I are remodeling a house and he said he though it should be finished in 8 months. Since he is a contractor I went along with the time frame but we are in the eighth month now and a long way from being finished. I would feel better if there was communication of when the next thing would start so I know when progress is happening. He gets angry when I press the issue of asking when things are going to happen. It is a struggle to remain patient when you don’t see progress. I don’t think I want to remodel another house with him since I don’t think I have much influence over the situation and I am beginning not to trust him.
Thanks Shane. I respect your transparency. I’m surprised with the ongoing presence of impatience in my life. It seems the passage of time isn’t helping that much. Let’s keep pressing forward.
Always feel like I am practicing the #9 of patience. I often associate that example with being like a duck. Cool, calm and collected on top of the water, all the while my feet under me are freaking out and going harder than ever to keep me going. Also, found each of the bonuses most inspiring too! Thanks for a great article and reminder!
Thanks Dani. Love your illustration of the duck. I’m with you. Sometimes I’m staying calm above the surface and kicking like crazy underneath. Thanks!
I LOVE this post! Brilliant. Oh, to have a leader like that… Oh to BE a leader like that. I’ve got a ways to go. I, too, appreciated the “Patience is not” section.
Thanks Joel. Looks like we are both on the journey. 🙂 Best wishes
What a great observation: Remains quiet under stress. Frantic is weak. Patient is strong.“`. Patience does not get enough respect.
Thanks Bruce. I concur, patience is often thought of as weak. Sad but true.
Dear Dan,
I agree we need to be patient in case of failure. We also need to have patience in trying period. When people become patient, it shows their endurance. It shows their maturity. They have focused on efforts and not much on expectations. I also feel, that only having patience without introspecting is not good. We need to change ourselves as per the need.
Being patience also shows the determination to do more and achieve more. And that is the power that makes people different.
How much patience we should have is based on limitation of our efforts and expectations. When we have expectation beyond our reach, then having patience is good. We need know what we know, and we should also know, what we do not know.
Thanks Dr. Gupta. Focus on effort and not much on expectation. That speaks to me. The outcome may not be what you want. But patience thinks about what to do next rather than focusing on the disappointment.
Hmmphh … I needed this kick in the a$$ today. This is my Achilles heel and has been for years … I agree with Shane – this should get better with time. I am off to demonstrate some vulnerability this afternoon and examine ‘who I need to be’ with an individual team mate this afternoon. This is tough … not to drink from the cup of mediocrity and be patient — a balancing act indeed.
Thanks Dan for your post, food for thought as always. I very much enjoy reading these!
How much patience is too much?
Very good question as patience is hard to have when the clock is ticking and the work load isn’t showing any signs of slowing down.
I have found lately, in my efforts to invest in people less experienced, or give those above me the benefit of the doubt I sometimes find myself being taken advantage of! I don’t want to lower my work ethic, helpfulness or patience but at the same time I don’t want to become subservient . Lately I have found myself having to push myself out if my comfort zone and politely say “no” in a fashion. The flip side of being too patient can seem to give permission for laziness in others…
Eleni, I have the same balancing act you are describing. I constantly have to tell myself to have good customer service, be understanding and be patient, and … don’t let anyone run you over!
Absolute love this post. I myself experienced much ‘impatient’ moments whilst heading a Marketing and PR department of a luxury brand. Laying it out makes it easier for us to understand how to control and the benefits of doing so to become a better leader. If you don’t mind, I’d love to post a referral of this article on my blog too 🙂 http://www.gradroute.com Cheers.
It seems that patience is most often applied as a coping mechanism only after one’s initial expectations have not been achieved. It would seem then that when we find ourselves in a position that demands the exercise of patience, we should re-examine the process, paradigms, or circumstances we used to create these expectations. Without changing these are we not inviting ourselves to experience more opportunities with patience in the future.
The “Patience is not” section pulls out the key differences between patience and the “Avoidance and Neglect” leadership that some might practice. And this is an important distinction that Ken Blanchard discusses in the “One Minute Manager”. I would say it is an engaged patience as opposed to a absentee leadership.
Thanks Dan!