Solution Saturday: Punched in the Gut

Sometimes life punches you in the gut.

Good Day Dan!

How do you feel comfortable letting go when you are being forced to move down your life path – when you didn’t think you were ready?  

(Name withheld.)

This question is a response to, “Simple Strategies to Tap the Power of Letting Go.”

Your future depends on your ability to learn, adapt, and grow

10 things to do when punched in the gut:

  1. Feel the pain. You might say, “I’m OK,” in public, but not to yourself and trusted friends. It’s a rejection of yourself to pretend it doesn’t hurt when it does.
  2. Accept responsibility. You aren’t perfect. You made mistakes. Did you put all your eggs in one basket, for example?
  3. Focus on who you want to be, more than disappointment with others. Make yourself proud.
  4. Trust your ability to learn, grow and adapt.
    1. When have you displayed grit in the past?
    2. What positive qualities emerged as you pressed through?
    3. How are you better today?
    4. What do past patterns teach you?
  5. Clarify what you want. It’s easy to get lost in what we don’t want.
    1. What types of service energize you?
    2. What advice would you give others, who are in your situation?
    3. Where might your strengths make positive difference in the world?
  6. Find trusted allies; reach beyond close friends, who are often too affirming.
    1. A coach who asks great questions.
    2. A mentor with similar experiences, who listens well.
    3. A leader you admire.
  7. Forgive. Draw a line and let go of the past. Forgiveness is a process, not a once and done.
  8. Forgive yourself. There can be a dark negative voice in our heads that keeps telling us we are losers.
  9. Have forward facing conversations. Circle the black hole for a short time, then stop.
  10. Listen to the darkness. Ask this dark situation, “What do you want from me?” Listen for lessons and learning that expand capacity and opportunity.

What’s important to remember, when life punches you in the gut?