7 Reasons People Can’t Wait for you to Stop Talking
It’s pathetic when people listen because they’re afraid not to. People often listen to leaders because they must, not because of respect.
What if people couldn’t wait for you to open your mouth?
Seven reasons people don’t listen when you talk:
- You’re negative. No one loves listening to complainers.
- They don’t care. Your message doesn’t matter to them.
- You don’t listen.
- You talk too much. People with power speak first, longest, and interrupt more often.
- You make promises you don’t keep.
- You don’t hold yourself and others accountable. People ignore you because they know you won’t bring it up again.
- You pretend you know when you don’t. Empty words never generate enthusiasm.
When people can’t wait for you to stop talking, they already stopped listening.
Three signs you’re being ignored:
- Low or no eye contact.
- Fidgety body language. Look for shuffling feet and other signs of impatience.
- No responses when you’re done talking. They want you to think they agree, but really they want you to stop talking.
The worst result of talking too much is disengagement.
Five ways to speak so people listen:
- Be awkwardly brief. You’re concerned that people will reach the wrong conclusion, so you cover all the bases. Speak fewer words and invite questions.
- Open your mouth to ask questions. Say, “I don’t want to waste your time with information that doesn’t matter.”
- What would you like to ask?
- What issues did I leave out?
- What do you need to know?
- Speak with specificity. Weak leaders hide behind generalities. Ambiguity is boring.
- Craft messages that matter to the person listening. Spend more time thinking about them and less thinking about yourself, if you expect to speak with influence.
- Be solution-centric and forward-looking.
Say things that make life better for others.
How might leaders talk in ways that energize others?