The 10 Powers of “With”

Self-serving leaders produce self-protective teammates.

Everyone wants to know if you’re with them. Trust, engagement, commitment, and passion hang on your answer.

Don’t ask anyone to get on your team, until you get on theirs.

you can't get where you want to go by protecting yourself

Serve others:

When leaders serve others, they energize others to serve.

Are you willing to put the best interests of your organization ahead of your own? If leaders serve themselves, others will pull back and protect themselves.

You can’t get where you want to go by protecting yourself.


The most profound act of leadership is serving others, even after being disappointed. Serving includes being with.


Everyone needs a “with”.

Let your team know you are with them, even when they screw up. People feel weak when they lack a significant “with”.

If you will be with your team, they will serve your mission.  

10 powers of “with”:

Be “with” and others will:

  1. Feel safe.
  2. Embrace their power.
  3. Bring their talent.
  4. Act with boldness.
  5. Endure through adversity. Grit requires a “with”.
  6. Behave with fidelity.
  7. Remain steady during turbulence.
  8. Seize opportunities.
  9. Dare to try again, after failure. If you’re in it for yourself, others play it safe.
  10. Connect and collaborate. 

Five ways to be with:

  1. Honor past successes. People forget how far they’ve come. When others feel down, tell them how you saw their strength in the past. Encourage by repeating their story back to them.
  2. Speak to motivation and passion. You hold the key to inspiration when you understand motivation.
  3. Accept strengths and weaknesses, even as you stretch capacities. You must accept someone before they feel you’re on their team.
  4. Take responsibility when things go wrong. Never publicly blame anyone on your team. If you’re the leader, you’re responsible.
  5. Strengthen people to go where they couldn’t go alone.

What prevents leaders from being with their team members?

How might leaders be a “with” for their team members?