The 10 Powers of “With”
Self-serving leaders produce self-protective teammates.
Everyone wants to know if you’re with them. Trust, engagement, commitment, and passion hang on your answer.
Don’t ask anyone to get on your team, until you get on theirs.
Serve others:
When leaders serve others, they energize others to serve.
Are you willing to put the best interests of your organization ahead of your own? If leaders serve themselves, others will pull back and protect themselves.
You can’t get where you want to go by protecting yourself.
Courage:
The most profound act of leadership is serving others, even after being disappointed. Serving includes being with.
With:
Everyone needs a “with”.
Let your team know you are with them, even when they screw up. People feel weak when they lack a significant “with”.
If you will be with your team, they will serve your mission.
10 powers of “with”:
Be “with” and others will:
- Feel safe.
- Embrace their power.
- Bring their talent.
- Act with boldness.
- Endure through adversity. Grit requires a “with”.
- Behave with fidelity.
- Remain steady during turbulence.
- Seize opportunities.
- Dare to try again, after failure. If you’re in it for yourself, others play it safe.
- Connect and collaborate.
Five ways to be with:
- Honor past successes. People forget how far they’ve come. When others feel down, tell them how you saw their strength in the past. Encourage by repeating their story back to them.
- Speak to motivation and passion. You hold the key to inspiration when you understand motivation.
- Accept strengths and weaknesses, even as you stretch capacities. You must accept someone before they feel you’re on their team.
- Take responsibility when things go wrong. Never publicly blame anyone on your team. If you’re the leader, you’re responsible.
- Strengthen people to go where they couldn’t go alone.
What prevents leaders from being with their team members?
How might leaders be a “with” for their team members?
Wow, so true, reminds me of the worst boss I ever had. Wish I could have turned him on to LF back then!
Thanks Jerry. The temptation to act in self-serving ways runs deep. It’s no wonder we all have stories of leaders who acted in self-serving ways. Today, we see CEO’s who get rich when their companies struggle, for example. Everyone’s been thrown under the bus by a self-serving boss. The courage to lead includes the courage to serve again.
Love this. I think a possible #6 to be a “with leader” is to also develop a vision for each of your team members (not false expectations based on self-serving motives), but one that empowers them, encourages growth, and demonstrates how their contribution impacts the team overall.
Thanks J. Wow! I totally love your addition to the conversation.
I’ve had a vision for team members that was more about me than them. I’ve been learning to understand individuals and come along side them to maximize their potential. It’s a gift when someone believes in us, even more than we believe in ourselves. (As you indicate, there are some concerns with this, but not being attached to our vision for others helps.)
This is a true and a great comment about the “WITH”. Agree with you J. for your comment in #6, but let push it up – how about implementing these powers worldwide? Let say all leaders should follow #1 to #10 to help themselves and to help others around them, working for them and with them. This way it will certainly help all organization/company to act smoothly, kindly and with all honor on top of their hats. We are all servant for our self, servant to others and servant to our company and servant to our family.
Dan, Excellent! What prevents leaders from being with team members? Egos can prevent leaders from inter mixing, they may need tamed to mix with others sometimes. Some Leaders are not team players, they are above the rest by choice! Teams can be intimidating to some Leaders, fear of being critiqued can play a role as well.
I think I just found some new words to live by WITH this article.
I’ve been in a leadership position for over 40 years and “with” has been one of the most valuable leasons learned in that time frame. However, there are still some at, above, or below my level that decline to be part of the “with” atmoshphere. I struggle to continue to find the will to be “with” those people after many attempts at inclusion, forgiveness, and any other tactic. I have to admit, there are some of those whom I am no longer “with”, although I cannot say I’m actively “against” them, either
Dan,
Great article! Well Said. There are many articles about what not to do, say, or be, to be successful. Putting it in the “do these” tense make it doable. I try to live by these daily. This is going up on my wall, as soon as I land.
Ken
Point 4: Taking Responsibility … something that often lacks in business
I had a leader last year that shuffled resources around to cover problems happening on other client’s accounts. As a Service Delivery Manager, I had to liaison with my clients and explain why we could not meet targets as promised on our service level agreement. Just when I’d think I’d have the resources and people lined up for a work or a project, often my delivery dates would shift. Why? Senior managers would reassign those resources to a different client to cover a “fire” or critical situation for another client … often client’s that I did not even have responsibility for. I was left defending our companies (my senior leaders) decisions … such is life in the real world of business. That was stressful enough but what was really intolerable was that I was taken off several clients due to circumstances I could not control in front of the team … some in the meeting were the ACTUAL cause of the problem that made the client angry. To appease the customer, the Service Delivery Manager was the pawn or sacrificial lamb my manager would use to solve the image damage for the company. There was no admittance during of the true cause with the rest of the team not involved with the circumstances. Nothing like being left holding the bag for something you had no control over … warm fuzzy feelings.
The irony of this is my manager hired me for being a straight-shooter … accept he didn’t like me being a straight-shooter when trying to meet my client’s expectations since it interfered with his fire-fighting ways of handling client services. I don’t work there anymore.