Solution Saturday: Clarity without Blabbing
Dear Dan,
I’m the one in a meeting who goes on and on. No bullcrap, but as my good friend once told me, in my desire to make sure everyone understands, I say the same thing a few ways. Ugh!
I have an awesome team, and thankfully, we like and respect each other. But I know my over-communicating could be frustrating.
How do I give clarity without blabbing?
LDM
Dear LDM,
I can’t tell you how impressed I am with your question. More leaders should explore the power of piping down.
3 reasons leaders become blabbers.
- Position, authority, and responsibility loosen lips. The person with the highest job title talks the most.
- Concern about unnecessary mistakes makes leaders jaw-flappers. It feels safer to say too much than too little. Talkative leaders are protecting people from wasting time and resources.
- Experience with people who nod in agreement, even when they’re confused, invites windy leaders to talk more.
Set a positive goal.
Your goal is effective concise communication, not simply talking less.
Seek clarity and brevity.
Prepare.
Leaders with the gift of gab need to prepare more than quiet introverts. It takes more preparation to speak effectively for a short time than a long time.
- With a project in mind, make a complete list of every topic you want to address.
- Rank the items on your list in order of importance. Which items should you eliminate or combine? Start with the big stuff.
- Craft one or two sentences for each important item. Don’t begin with adlib.
Leverage relationships.
You mention good relationships on the team. “… we like and respect each other.” Include others in your development.
I encourage you to be as transparent with your goal as possible. It sets an example and strengthens connections.
Ask trusted team members, “What suggestions do you have that might help me communicate with brevity and clarity?”
- Explain the goal.
- Ask for suggestions.
- Dig into their ideas.
- Put one idea into practice during your next meeting.
Give a project to experienced team members. Explain your goal. Ask them to give you a knowing nod when they feel you’ve provided enough clarity. If you want to have fun, they could make a slashing motion on their throat and fall on the floor.
Feedback given in the moment is most effective.
Seek feedback from inexperienced team members immediately after meetings. Explain your goal and ask three questions.
- What did I do that provided enough clarity?
- What was I doing when I talked too long? (Assume that you talked too long. Don’t ask them to tell you.)
- How might I communicate with brevity and clarity?
Engage others in creating clarity.
- Speak briefly during meetings and ask, “What else does the team need to know?” (The term ‘team’ protects individuals for looking dumb.)
- Describe the project. Cut yourself off when you’re tempted to circle the tree again. Ask, “What’s one area where the team might need more clarity?”
- After discussing the project ask, “What’s one key factor for success with this project?” Make a list of five factors. Invite the team to briefly discuss key factors for success with each other.
- Protect people from failure by asking, “If we fail, what will we not have done?” Follow up with, “How might we address those issues moving forward?”
- Hold a pre-meeting with key players to define issues and craft the message.
Bonus: Ask experienced team members to explain part of the project for you. When they’re done, say, “Thank you,” and nothing else.
Talking too long invites confusion, not clarity.
How might leaders communicate with brevity and clarity?
**I relax my 300 word limit on Solution Saturday.
Thank you for the question and your answer – I’ll be asking these questions of my team. I know this happens to me when I realize I’m the only one in the meeting that’s talking 🙂 I want to make sure nothing is missed and the team knows everything I do, but I often find I’m answering questions nobody is asking – I need to focus on clarity and brevity!
Thanks rwmnau. You really nailed an important idea. “I’m answering questions nobody is asking.” Best wishes
The act of listening has become a lost art.
Thanks Jim. Two big words… ‘act’ and ‘art’.
Great points. My takeaway to implement is don’t adlib. Prepare. Write it down. Will work very hard on this.
Thanks!
Thanks AG. Perhaps one of the most neglected items aspects of meeting is the preparation good ones require.
I’m thankful you shared your takeaway.
Clarity is critical in proper communication. Preparing for and executing BRIEF comments is much more powerful than “blabbing” on and on.
Thanks W. Yes, perhaps we should simply embrace the power of brevity.
Sometimes it’s not the “formal” leader doing the excessive talking, but one of the team members with a leadership role on a particular project. In that case their desire to do well has them repeating themselves and sharing unnecessary details of their journey or process. Your suggestions on asking team members to help create clarity prior to the meeting are good ones and might help this team leader hone their message to key points and necessary details.
Thanks Vicki. The leader of the team might convene a brief meeting to help team members prepare. It demonstrates a commitment to run great meetings, takes some of the pressure off, provides an opportunity for preparation, and give people the opportunity to feel like they are part of the leadership team.
“Preperation ” is a key for meetings.
Be direct and clear. Read your members expressions, you can sense when you lose your audience, team etc.
” Simplicity”is great if possible, there are times thinks need to be technical, so do it when necessary. Learn to know yourself and your team!
Thanks Tim. Yes, some meetings require digging into details. This are best run with small groups of people who are directly involved in execution. The other things that comes to mind is making sure that experts are central to the process.
Good points Tim. When faced with deciding to have a meeting, I always asked myself, “Can what this meeting is expected to accomplish be accomplished without having a meeting.” Another rule of thumb, if the meeting is not going to result in at least one decision being made, then don’t have the meeting.
OH, to have back the thousands of meeting hours I sat through during my 42 year career.
Thank you, Dan, for this post. I consider this (talking too much to clarify, etc) to be my fatal flaw. Thank you for giving me a plan for brevity AND clarity. I am working with college-age students and don’t want to see their eyes glaze over. Diane M
Thanks Diane. You part of the Leadership Freak tribe that makes this process fun. I respect your transparency and passion to be effective. Best for the journey.
Talking too much is bullcrap. I applaud the question and the effort but let’s not fool ourselves into believing our own narratives. If it was at all valuable people would still be listening and engaged.
A key is to ask questions. That’s when the leader should be talking. Ask “what are your thoughts on that” or “who wants to expand on what Jill just shared” or “what are the pros and cons of this approach”.
If you really want your team to know you must teach; not tell.
Thanks Alf. Leaders should talk to ask questions! You nailed it.
Encouraging people to talk with each other rather than to the person leading the meeting strengthens connections and encourages participation. It also elevates the value of everyone around the table.
Who want to expand..
What’s important about what Jill just said?
What comes to mind when you hear Jill say….?
What are your thoughts on….?
Really good point Alf – and one I will try to remember!
Thanks for this reminder Dan!I find that when interacting with people on a topic I enjoy I always want everyone to know what I know, but at times it is to much and can be confusing. I like how you focused on bringing the team into the discussion, I think everyone can benefit from back briefing as well.
Thanks Christopher. You bring up one of the reasons we talk too much. We know too much. Or at least we think we do. 🙂
Knowledge is a heavy burden if you have to keep it to yourself.
Christopher, your comment reminded me of something an old friend of mine told me about controlling the thought of “I always want everyone to know what I know.”
Whenever I fall prey to wanting everyone to know what I know, I recall what my old friend told me to say to my audience…
“I just can’t remember everything I know.”
At first, laughter will break out, BUT eventually many will get it.
Thanks Dan…I like it, know when to pipe down. We practice it here with our program development, we call it the minimum effective dose.
I was reminded of the Blaise Pascal quote, “If I had more time I would have written a shorter letter.”
Thanks Tom. Your expression ‘minimum effective dose’ is enlightening and challenging. Something to mull over.
I’m reminded of an old HBS article about green/yellow/red lights tied to 20 second speaking segments — you’re green for the first 20, yellow for the next, and red if you go beyond 40 seconds of uninterrupted speech. I try to keep this in mind, though I still fear I go overboard more often than I’d like to.
Link to Harvard Business article: https://hbr.org/2015/06/how-to-know-if-you-talk-too-much
Thanks Dan for this article. I realized I am guilty of “talking to much” for awhile now. Both when leading my team and to be honest with everyone I talk with. I am excited to put the wisdom from your article -and the comments- into practice.
“Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much.”
— Robert Greenleaf
Thanks Lex. Self-awareness is the pre-requisite to development. I’m so impressed with your transparency. Love the quote. Best wishes
The image made me laugh out loud. Just posting that where you can see it would be a great reminder for people
Thanks Lucille. So glad you enjoyed it. I’m learning to select images with personality.