How to Improve Your Vibe and Flourish as a Leader
Leaders send vibes to everyone in their proximity.
If you want to flourish, choose how you show up.
Inner thoughts and attitudes radiate through facial expressions, body language, tone, and language. Here are some examples of the vibe given off by people I know.
- I’m consumed with myself.
- I show up to serve.
- I don’t want to appear weak.
- I like you.
- I’m glad to be here.
- I’m having fun.
- I feel incompetent and needy.
- I’m making a difference.
- I do a good job.
- I hate what I’m doing.
- The world sucks.
- I want you to do something for me.
What’s your vibe?
4 questions to explore your vibe:
- Is your hand opened or closed?
- Are you showing up to serve or be served?
- Are you looking to affirm or critique?
- How are you connecting and including others?
People tend to describe themselves with negatives. I don’t want people to take advantage of me. I don’t want to be angry. I’m not as open as I would like.
Describe your vibe with three positive words. For example, I want to be curious, patient, and forward-facing.
Express your vibe:
After exploring and defining your vibe, choose three behaviors that best align with the way you want to show up. For example,
- Curiosity: Ask questions before making statements.
- Patience: Give people time to find and reflect on their responses to my questions.
- Forward-facing: Explore next steps. For me, any conversation that ends without forward movement is a waste of time.
You flourish when your vibe expresses who you are and serves the needs of your organization.
What three words describe your preferred vibe?
What three behaviors best align with the vibe you want to send?
Dan an old Leader friend used to say that since we are all Animals, at times we have our antenna up to receive and send signals to others and at times we shut down and pull it in. To be a Leader, you have to be able to receive and send signals whether subtle or direct. Good post.
Brad James, author The Business Zoo
Simple, direct, clear, comes to mind today
For time has taken us this far.
Have a safe and happy July 4th, remember our armed services.
Good morning Dan,
Thank you for the great post this morning. I specially like the question you posed, “Are you showing up to serve or to be served?” I believe that this question and forms the others.
To many times have I seen and been guilty of showing up only concerned with self. When this happens or hand is closed, our attitude is critical, and we are not concerned with connecting or including others.
When we show up with a servant attitude or hand will be open to both give information and receive feedback. With a servant attitude we may still be critical of ideas but it will be with an attitude of affirmation to build up and improve. And when we have a serving attitude, we will be interested in connecting and including others to provide value but also value their input and what they bring to the team.
Again, thank you for the great post and have a happy 4th of July.
Confident, action-oriented, kind.
Confident – Trust that I am where I am for a reason. Don’t second guess myself.
Action-oriented – Potential becomes a curse word if said too long.
Kind – Everyone has dreams, goals, and passions. I want to help them achieve them.
Inquisitive, driven, fun! If I could have a forth one please, it would be mischievous.
Behaviours for above in respective order. Politeness, to the point, laughter, tongue in cheek conversation.
Instead of describing my vibe focussing on behavior, I know I am pretty good at, I chose to describe my vibe with three positive words, I would like to improve on:
Patience – I will give people enough room to find the solutions for the problems they would like to solve, at their own pace.
Respect – I will not judge people for their behavior because I understand each of us has their own context.
Transparent – I will do my best to make sure people understand our common goal and their expected contribution.
Curiousity: Learn how or why people use our products to improve their usability. Learn what is important to colleagues (I am a leader but not a manager) to encourage them, show them I care, build trust and good working relationships.
Open: Actively evaluate others’ perspectives. This can stimulate many different, viable options (actions, products, processes). Understanding others’ perspectives & context allows us to put them in positions or give them opportunities to best use their potential, for their value & benefit, and the comany’s.
Accountability: Do what is Urgent & Important over what is Easy & Quick. This I need to work on most.
Dan, I just read your post and it had a big impact on me. Let me explain. A week ago, I lost my only son due to a motorcycle accident. As you can imagine, we were crushed. Felt like a ship on the ocean without a rudder and no sails.
Your post is helping me get through each day as I search for meaning and significance. It’s tough but I appreciate your wisdom.
As a leader of my own team, I am very conscious with my vibe. As much as possible I want my members to feel and see positivity in me. I think it’s very important that we are conscious about it.