Screw You and Other Moments of Growth
#1. Have a screw you attitude. Get up after being kicked to the curb. A screw you attitude is useful when others don’t believe in you. Prove them wrong. Plow forward.
The first danger of a screw you attitude is being a jerk.
The second danger of a screw you attitude is a closed mind. Don’t put your head down and plow forward. Look around. Stay open. Seek feedback.
A screw you attitude provides energy, but not direction.
#2. Define yourself by who you are, not the expectations of others. Anger might help you cast off the expectations of others, but self-awareness shows you where to go.
#3. Interact with people who aren’t like you. You like people who are like you. But the people who are like you seldom fuel change.
Listen to someone who surprises you.
Occasionally, I’m approached by religious groups to speak. Generally, they fit into two buckets. One screens me for what I believe, as if I were going to preach a sermon. The other wants me to talk about leadership, coaching, or management. Guess which ones hire me.
#4. Step into desperation. Say yes to something scary.
Desperation is better than sanctuary.
Friends and family don’t want you to fail. Protection, when it’s coddling, blocks you from your highest potential.
Momma and daddy help you most when they kick your butt out of the nest. Yes, we all need sanctuary. But living there makes us weak.
When support is protection from failure, it’s deadly.
#5. Let your true self be seen. Sparks of transformation ignite when you expose secret aspirations, hidden fears, shameful failures, or seething frustrations. You can’t grow when you’re hiding.
Self-protection is kin to stagnation.
When have you seen the most transformation in your own leadership?
How might you use these ideas to create moments of transformation for others?
Best one yet! And, you made me laugh first thing this morning, kudos!
Thanks Irish. Laughter is medicine. 🙂
Liked your thought-provoking post!
The best time to know you and your way of progress is Appraisal Time. Lot of learning and the opportunities to change your leadership style while reviewing the areas of improvement as suggested by the superiors and subordinates! Bring the required changes in your operational style while taking people along and their enthusiasm to be with you all the time in achieving the common goals beneficial to all. You can even mould the working styles of your team members with interactive talks and the inspirational guidance.
Be open to learn from others, change wherever necessary and focus on the goals with fresh commitment & fortified efforts!
Thanks Dr. Asher. Yes, input/feedback from others is essential for growth. We need to see ourselves as others see us, not as we imagine ourselves.
I agree that appraisal is one method of feedback as long \as it is given each quarter as opposed to one time a year. As ah HR Manager for 20 years I believe that feedback be given whenever it is warranted and it’s primary role is to reinforce strengths and positive behaviour. It’s the one thing that motivates and drives people regardless of the level and length of their employment Thanks for the articles Dan. My graduate work is in Leadership and I agree with much of what you write… for team building, for self-awareness and for emotional growth.
Thanks Barbara. Yes…feedback once a year is ridiculous. The more the better as long as there is a good ratio of positive to corrective.
Glad you joined in today!
Two way appraisal?
#5. Let your true self be seen. Like this one. I’m so tired of people using perception as a shield to hide their true self. Much easier if you are a straight shooter and don’t aspire to following the status quo.
Thanks Michael. I’ve seen some very powerful moments when people lowered their protective barriers.
First ever blog comment – for anyone, anything. You are hereby dubbed the King of Article Titles in my humble opinion. Who could resist clicking through on these? Thanks, Dan, for the content that always makes the click through worthy. Discovered your blog at just the right time, and a challenging one at that. Love the way you present your messages, despite the occasional ouch when one or two kick me squarely in the pants. Keep on kicking!
Thanks Sharon. I’ve always wanted to be the king of something. :-)… Thanks for a smile and for your kind words. Best for the journey.
Now that you’ve made one comment, maybe we’ll see a little more of you.
This entry really hit home for me. I was recently passed over for a promotion and the easiest response is to be angry and become a “jerk.” While this works in the short term, it’s the learning from the experience and repurposing that anger as motivation to become better that will serve me the best. Thanks for the words of direction.
Thanks Eric. You’re going through one of the really tough experiences we face when we have aspirations for ourselves. Hang in there.
Perhaps the worst thing we do is shoot ourselves in the foot when frustration turns to resentment.
Perhaps you’ll look back on this as a tipping point.
How does one get past the resentment, because I’m still pretty damn cranky!
I have done well with being motivated by naysayers. My weakness has been too much self-protection
Thanks Michael. I suppose knowing is 1/2 the battle. I wonder what one does with the knowledge? Thanks for jumping in.
I like this I think I can have an attitude you describe and make sure you that attitude as a positive as well as the suggestion you gave to have an open mind and ensure engagement with my coworkers.