How to Find Your Grateful Mind
3 dangers of ingratitude:
#1. Missed opportunity.
Ungratefulness doesn’t create a bright future.
Ingratitude worries about the past.
A leader that’s focused on the past misses today’s opportunity.
Turn to the future:
- What three lessons is your past teaching you?
- How might your strengths be useful today?
- What might you do today to create the future you desire?
#2. Low energy and lost vision.
Maybe the emails just keep coming. Maybe one problem follows another.
- All the emails stopped?
- You never solved another problem?
- No one asked your advice again?
Sometimes the things you’re ungrateful for actually give meaning to life.
#3. Ingratitude tells others they’re losers.
An ungrateful leader tells other he doesn’t trust them to make progress.
Ungratefulness focuses on things OTHERS haven’t done or can’t do.
3 ways to find your grateful mind:
Everything is easier with gratitude.
#1. Accept ungratefulness.
Fake it till you make it is useful, but denial doesn’t solve anything.
Keep an “I’m Ungrateful List” in your desk. Don’t do anything with the list. Just write it. Free your mind to focus on other things.
#2. Focus on YOUR responsibilities.
Entitlement destroys gratitude.
Sometimes ungratefulness is opportunity to matter.
When the cause of ingratitude is within your control, change it.
When the cause of ingratitude is out of your control, let it go. (You’ll be letting go a lot.)
Note: Reassign incompetent employees. Retrain them. Or generously manage them out. It’s not fair to others when you allow people to consistently fail.
#3. Express gratitude.
Don’t pretend you’re grateful. Express real gratitude.
- “I’m thankful we have room to improve.”
- “I”m thankful to learn about this problem before it gets worse.”
- “I’m thankful for the talented people on our team.”
Bonus: Write three thank you notes everyday for a week. (Not emails.)
What are the dangers of ingratitude?
How might leaders find a grateful mind?
I found this very helpful/powerful.. I’ve long been a believer that gratitude (not optimism) us the personality component that produces an attitude that allows us to navigate the hardship, difficulty and resistance our path naturally has.
Thanks Ken. Gratitude calls for concrete expressions, not simply a positive attitude. Gratitude might actually be a way to develop optimism.
For some reason gratitude feels narrower than optimism. In that sense, it’s more attainable.
Thanks for an interesting idea. Cheers
Gratitude calles for focus…
Lack of focus typically degenerates into some negative emotion. I find I can’t just drift and expect to be positive and grateful.
Dan – such a simple message, yet a powerful reminder to start each day grateful. A heart and mind of gratitude leaves no room for complaining. I think it’s nearly impossible to be truly thankful and filled with negativity and ungratefulness at the same time.
I’m new to your blog, and find your content refreshing! Thanks for doing what you do!
Thanks Kayleigh. It seems that gratitude is great out pushing negativity out. 🙂 … Maybe we don’t have to TRY to be positive. Maybe we should just practice gratitude.
“Thanks Ken. Gratitude calls for concrete expressions, not simply a positive attitude.” Dan, this is so enlightening and so true. Whether you tell someone why you’re grateful (for them or for something specific) or you write someone a thank you card, you’re making gratitude concrete, real and lasting. You can have a positive attitude, which is wonderful, but expressing your gratitude can uplift other people as well. Thank you!!
Gratitude…So easy to forget, so rewarding to remember. Thanks Dan for the reminder.
I love this!! Can you say more about the “I’m ungrateful list” – what might be on it and how to use it? I want to know more!
Thanks Irene. There are a few things behind the suggestion of an Ungrateful List.
Think of your problems as little people. They want attention. They’re waving their hands saying, “Look at me.” Hey, “Pay attention to me.”
What should you do when a problem won’t let you go. Give it some attention. Make it feel important by writing it on a list.
One way to free your brain is to let it know you are paying attention, rather than burying your head in the sand.
Another reason to write an ungrateful list is you might realize that some of the items aren’t worth the time your giving them.
I believe in practicing gratitude, but pretending your grateful when you aren’t doesn’t work. It makes matters worse. To practice gratitude you must find something you are actually grateful for.
One way to find gratefulness is to dip into ungratefulness.
The other factor is bad is stronger than good. If you don’t write it down it will stick with you. I view writing down the things you aren’t grateful for as a way of finding freedom from them.
Although I didn’t intend it, you might see some things on the list that you want to change. If that happens, energy goes up, Win/Win,
Thanks for your question.
I’ll go back to the original suggestion. Just write down things you are ungrateful for. Don’t plan to do anything. Just write them down. PUt the list in your desk and go express gratitude to/for others. The operative word is ‘express.”
Thanks for your question. Best wishes
PS you might find it useful to expand the ungrateful list to include stuff you don’t like, nagging problems, points of frustration, etc. It might turn into a long list. In that case, it’s a wake up call.
I’m thankful to learn about this problem
I am optimistic, and forever grateful for new opportunities. I love change. I love that you bring out the best in us with your articles. Keep the positive.
Gratitude and disturbance cannot coexist !!