Dear Dan: Our New Boss is A.D.D.
Hi Dan!
My team got new leadership about a year ago. While our new manager is very nice and easy to get along with, most people on the team are concerned at his lack of interest in certain parts of team member tasks.
We are in Marketing, and while that is a creative department, there’s always the “down in the trenches” work that is more detailed and not as “fun” as other areas. We feel like his disinterest in those areas is affecting our efficiency.
He also is a little “A.D.D.” in that he gets distracted and checks out quickly in those instances where he starts to get bored.
My question to you, as an avid reader of your blog. How do you feel subordinates should address issues with their leadership in such circumstances? I want him to succeed, we all do, but it’s hard to get around the idea of telling your boss he needs to step up to our level, and realize the devil is in those details he gets so bored with.
Hope you have some advice. Thank you for listening!
In the Trenches
Dear Ditch Digger,
Be thankful for what you have. Many would love a boss who stays out of their business.
Give him the benefit of the doubt. You think he’s disinterested. Perhaps he respects your talent and autonomy.
Give each other the respect and interest you want from the boss.
The above ideas may feel dissatisfying. In that case, give the boss feedback using A. B.E.E.R.
- Aspiration
- Behavior
- Effect
- Expect
- Result
How to give the boss feedback:
#1. Ask about aspirations.
- “How did you get into Marketing?”
- “What do you enjoy about Marketing?”
- “What type of leader do you hope to be/become?”
- “How did you earn this leadership position?”
- “What do people see in you that makes them trust/respect your leadership?” (Not a subtle accusation.)
(You may want to casually explore his aspirations over a few weeks.)
Sincere interest in people overcomes resistance to feedback.
#2. Describe the behaviors that don’t serve him well. Be specific. “You seem disinterested,” is an interpretation. Say, “I notice that you fidget and look around the room when I talk about details.”
#3. Explain the effect of his behaviors on you. Say, “When you fidget and look around the room, I feel disrespected. It seems like you aren’t interested.”
#4. Illustrate what you expect. “You seem interested when you maintained eye contact and asked questions.” “I would feel respected if you noticed the detail-work by occasionally saying, “Thanks for caring about the details.”
#5. Describe the result you’re after. His respect, appreciation, and interest will energize you, encourage the team, and help him fulfill his aspirations.
Tip: Speak for yourself, not others.
You have my best,
Dan
What suggestions do you have for “Ditch Digger?”
*I don’t include the “Hi Dan” part of this post in my 300 word limit.
Added resources:
How to Give Your Boss Feedback (HBR)
Four Tips for Giving Your Manager Feedback (Forbes)
How to Give Constructive Feedback to a Toxic Boss (Entrepreneur)
Interesting “Ditch Digger”,
Couple questions, what is the common thread the team agrees with in regards to the “new manager”? If they are the same item or items, discuss them with each other and determine which affects the team the most, one you find the culprit. “As Dan recommends” sit down one on one and discuss.
Your group is fortunate to be so free to do your projects. Just my 2 cents.
Micro managing can drive people insane.
Thanks Tim. I notice that you’re trying to narrow the focus. This seems very important. Sometimes we bring up too many issues when we’re upset.
Sometimes solving one issue improves many others at the same time.
Some of us are “owls”. We see the big picture much easier than being in the weeds. But when we see the “beavers” are doing the work in an efficient and top-producing manner, it enables us to move to the next piece of scenery. Be glad you have an “owl”. He or she will let you know when the “devil in the details” needs some adjusting.
Love that Kim!
I would encourage the Ditch Digger to stop digging.
Address the challenge before emotions are so raw, someone says something they will regret.
Just because one may not have the title, you may have to lead others, including the supervisor through this challenge.
Modeling and demonstrating may get the point across, but only with your supervisor’s permission.
Dan, One of the underlying themes in your wonderful posts is that management is about people, first and foremost. Correct me if I am wrong about that.
An important piece of advice–speak for yourself, not for others.
I agree Dan I’d lean toward the manager giving autonomy here. Ditch Digger states “We feel like his disinterest in those areas is affecting our efficiency.” Are we to assume that the team only has urgency and efficiency in areas where the manager drives and monitors every detail? Is it possible the real issue here is that the manager isn’t recognizing and showing appreciation for all the detailed work post completion rather than lack of involvement along the way? Love your blog Dan thanks for all you do!
All new managers deserve a little love! And why a year’s observation is long, in the grand scheme of things, it really isn’t long at all and I agree with Dan, that you should be happy he’s not all up in your business telling you how and when to do it. Hum…Be Thankful for what you have in your manager. Why is it that employees feel that need to control who and what their manager is or isn’t? Sometimes employees don’t get to control that. Is it what it is and ADD isn’t nice at all, maybe it’s something else. Maybe your manager isn’t engaging because he and/or she knows something you don’t…Like they are moving on soon and or it’s just like Dan says, your good at what you’re doing and there is no need to micromanage you. Try being more kind and ask if there is something that you can do to assist, be the leader you want your manager to be.
B – Unacceptable Behavior
E – Effect of Behavior
E – Expectations, Documentation, Consequences
R – Resolution
Ditch Digger here.
Thank you all for the advice. And thank you Dan for putting my question out there! I do want to clarify, that I’m not looking to be micro-managed.
My biggest issue is with his lack of interest in understanding our products, processes, and company culture. When we DO need his guidance, he doesn’t understand what the department does enough on a daily basis that he doesn’t know how to give direction. I’m very comfortable in my role, and know what is expected of me. When I bring things to his attention that are important, and I KNOW they are important, he doesn’t see it. And it’s not because he knows something we don’t. It’s usually because WE KNOW what he doesn’t.
However, I plan on trying to find instances where I can use your advice to address some of these. One on one, one at a time. See if he responds.
Thank you all!
I’ve never had this particular issue with a leader but I have heard of similar situations. I really like the approach Dan pointed out, you really have to go about it in a systems way. If you’re aware your leader doesn’t get into the details – change your approach to how you present. Executive summaries are your leaders’ best tool to get the quick version of what you’re presenting. Also in those presentations, specify early on that either it’s a “info-only” or “decision-needed”. Something tells me Ditch Digger to try that approach they will see some differences possibly with their leader.
All leaders have weaknesses the cannot be all things to all people. Sometimes the things we expect from leaders may not be necessary in the leaders eyes.
This is an exciting post and something many people come across many industries. I would appreciate my boss being out of my hair; however, I do require feedback to ensure that I am moving in the right direction. If I felt like my boss is disinterested, then I would have an honest conversation with him. If he is the boss or leader he is expected to be, then you should be able to pull him to the side and get his expectations. Additionally, you should give him yours.
I think I would honestly go with having a conversation about aspirations. This will be a great way to gauge where his head is at and what you need to do moving forward to get his engagement.
Transparency is key to keeping a good working relationship. That include having those difficult conversations. I’m very nonconfrontational; however, I’m working on being open about having honest discussions.
I most definitely agree with you Dan about speaking for yourself when it deals with something that makes you feel uneasy. You can’t speak on others feelings because you aren’t really having the same experience or perspective. Additionally, others may just be telling you what you want to hear.
This post makes me feel that Ditch Digger may validly have more leadership experience than his team’s new manager. That happens sometimes and isn’t necessarily a bad thing; just means that DD is probably a leader within the team while NM is on a formal leadership path. I think this is a great opportunity for DD to use his leadership skill to help NM grow and to strengthen the overall team.
If the team doesn’t already have clear, common objectives that you’re all working toward together, maybe DD could lead the team (with or without NM involved) in defining some common objectives. This would help NM see the purpose of what the team is doing. It’s good to be aware that all your team and individual initiatives should fall into your common objectives.
To add onto this, DD could organize the team into summarizing their initiatives ongoing and also indicating which objective(s) is being fulfilled from each initiative. This can be shared with the whole team together, including NM. It feels like this will enable NM to better see what the team is doing and the common objectives they’re meeting.
There’s lots of other great advice from others here and valid things to consider. My suggestions are meant to help DD get NM see what the team does and how it benefits their organization. From NM’s improved visibility, NM will hopefully begin to truly appreciate what the team and team members do every day, and to SHOW this appreciation.
First off, not all managers are the same and expecting your new manager to be as interested in your detailed work may be asking a lot. It might be that he doesn’t know what you’re talking about, but he doesn’t want to admit he’s not as knowledgeable as his predecessor. He may still be trying to get his bearings, or as others suggested, he’s only going to be there for the short term. Maybe you’re giving him too much detail or expecting too much validation from him regarding your work. The new manager might be legitimately bored with tedious and detailed descriptions. I know I don’t appreciate having my time wasted by employees who feel the need to give me a blow-by-blow account of all that they have accomplished. Do you limit your discussions to just the significant items that require his input or awareness, or are you hoping to impress him by giving him too much information? Before I engage in a semi-confrontational discussion with my new manager (as suggested by Dan), I would engage in some self reflection regarding how I’m presenting information to him and if my expectations are fair or biased by how I interacted with my previous manager.