3 Shocking Ways to Show Up Today
Knowing stuff got you where you are, but “not knowing” takes you where you need to go.
Choose how you show up BEFORE you show up.
#1. Show up to let others be right.
Take advice. Stop finding fault with advice. If advice won’t make matters worse, try it.
Give room for others to learn. Say, “That’s an interesting idea. Why don’t you try it? Let’s meet next Thursday at 3:00 to debrief.”
4 tips for letting others be right:
- Will an idea cause damage? Intervene.
- Does the person possess drive and openness? Let them dive into the deep end.
- Is there a track record of learning from failure? Provide rope for trying things.
- Do they get defensive when receiving tough feedback? Perhaps learning from failure will develop humility.
#2. Show up to embolden others to act.
Permission-giving hinders bold action.
Teach people to stop asking permission and start declaring intention. “I intend to,” is more courageous than, “May I.” (See, Turn the Ship Around, by David Marquet.)
Too many suggestions hinder bold action. Affirm more. Tweak less.
Others are timid when you don’t trust their talent.
#3. Show up to get out of the way.
Step back and allow others to act.
The transition from being IN the spotlight to shining the spotlight is painful for some. Your need to be the center of attention prevents initiative.
Notice your need to be part of the action. When you feel left out, stay out.
Give yourself freedom to give others freedom:
- Coach instead of giving quick answers when people seek input.
- Affirm instead of tweak.
- Schedule reports. (Use #1 and #2 above during reports.)
- Learn to speak directly with kindness. Lack of courage to speak your mind prevents you from freeing others to act.
The courage to step back is often greater than the courage to step in.
Which of the above suggestions seems most challenging?
How would you like to show up today?
10 Traits of Courageous Leaders (Forbes)
What is Courageous Leadership (WeWork)
These are all traits I try to use. I don’t have one that’s the most difficult on the surface, but I do struggle at times when people ask “how should I” and I give the answer rather than saying “what do you think you should do”. Once that question is asked, the four steps in item 1 above can more easily come to play.
Good reminders – thank you!
Thanks Gary. Maybe the presence to ask the first question gets us off on the right foot. Have a great week.
These are all good ideas to implement. It can be a struggle when someone suggests a new idea. Both people need to be empathetic to how that idea will affect each other’s work flow. As long as both people have the right intentions behind it, then it should be followed.
Thanks Hamilton. Perhaps asking, “How does this impact others/the team or customers is a good question to ask. It helps people develop a broader perspective.
Sometimes a new idea is simply a way of make MY world better. Self-serving isn’t always bad, but it needs to serve others as well. For example, you might come up with a way to make your job easier and deliver results quicker at the same time.
Does the person possess drive and openness? Let them dive into the deep end.? This one seems to be the biggest challenge I see as so many young ins (that’s what I call them) lack the drive or passion to make the job theirs and move forward. I do not just find this at my work location but across many locations and personnel that I deal with across North America? Drive and passion seems to be the exception, not the rule.
“I like to show up Thinking”, knowing everything has an option! Once we get past the options and become the “Doers” either directional or actually doing the tasks becomes the separation point. Trusting others with the task if your the Leader.
If we ask the question first, perhaps we develop the common ground “or the right foot” as you suggest, will get us through to the very end? It at least gets everyone involved “thinking” for the final agreeable solution that needs dealt with.
Thanks for this post . I especially appreciate your thoughts on not stifling innovation .Andy Stanley says when presented with a new idea from a team member he tries hard to respond “Wow ,that is interesting tell me more ?” than How can we do that?
The power of stepping back and reflecting and learning are also huge points for leaders to consider as they grow .
Thanks again John