5 Ways to Become a Gifted Adviser

An eager adviser is seldom sought-after.

A person who loves telling others what to do is blind to their own arrogance. An excited adviser needs advice.

An eager adviser is seldom sought after. Image of a happy dog running with a stick.

5 Ways to become a gifted adviser:

#1. Succeed at enjoyment.

The essential aspect of success is enjoyment. Few seek killjoys for advice. Enjoyment occurs beyond happiness. Enjoyment makes you attractive.

You pursue happiness, but enjoyment energizes pursuit.

The basic aspects of success include talent, energy, opportunity, good fortune, and grit. Angel Duckworth says, “Grit is more important than talent.” Grit isn’t the source of endurance. Joy is.

Image of two blacksmiths working on hot metal. People that don't like people are over-committed to changing people.

#2. Like people.

People that don’t like people are over-committed to changing people.

4 ways to be a leader that likes people:

  1. Seek their success. See #1.  
  2. Use language that builds up.
  3. Understand and seek to maximize their talent.
  4. Call them to bring their best.

#3. Commit to learning.

The best advice-givers excel at seeking advice.

If you want people to learn from you, learn from them.

Know-it-alls make lousy advisors. Value ideas. Explore options.

#3. Have a viewpoint. (sorry…misnumbered)

Think otherwise with an open spirit.

Useful advice shifts perspectives.

#4. Make space for reflection.

Busy people lose perspective and get lost in the weeds.

A person lost in the weeds loses sight of options. Skillful advisers build ladders people use to climb out of the weeds.

#5. Give choices, not commands.

You make infants of adults when you make decisions for them. Everyone who chooses their own path takes responsibility for their path.

The person who makes the decision assumes responsibility.

Tip: Skillful advisers help people make undramatic progress. The need for giant leaps destroys small opportunities. Growth is often perceived by looking back.

Which of the five ways to become a sought-after adviser seems most important?

What might you add to the above list?

The 4 Unbreakable Rules of Giving Advice that People Actually Respect