Words You Don’t Say But Should
Words you don’t say but should drain energy like leeches.
When you don’t speak up, you dance with elephants.
Words you don’t say but should come with hidden consequences.
7 hidden consequences of words you don’t say but should:
Unspoken expectations turn into blame.
- You should have…
- You didn’t…
- Why didn’t you…
Once you blame someone, you aren’t responsible anymore. It’s false release.
#3. False impressions.
People think they’re successful until you drum up courage to talk about poor performance or toxic patterns.
Progress stalls when you choke on words that should be said.
#5. Low impact.
Do you want impactful leadership? Communicate a point of view instead of nodding like a bobble head.
Aspiration dies when it isn’t spoken.
Anger persists until solutions are sought.
The words you don’t say but should cause disappointment with yourself.
3 ways to say words you don’t say but should:
#1. Be brief.
- Assume you talk too long.
- Prepare your message.
- Only open your mouth to make things better. Accusation, defensiveness, and blame don’t make things better.
Don’t be seduced into bloviating by the sound of your own voice.
#2. Begin with the end in mind.
Don’t talk until you have a clear outcome in mind.
Determine the point, then get to the point.
Tell people the reason you’re talking.
- I want to clarify…
- I’m looking for your input.
- Let’s work to find a solution.
- I’d like us to choose a new way of…
#3. Learn what people need to know.
Don’t answer questions people aren’t asking.
When speaking to inform, ask, “What questions come to mind?”
Set clear direction and ask, “What do you need to know to take the next step?”
The most important goals of leadership communication are connecting with people and making things better.
What rules of communication are serving you well?
What words are difficult for leaders to say?