Leadership Development is About One Thing We Often Miss
Everyone I work with is working on the same thing. It’s been that way since the first coaching conversation I had years ago in Dunkin Donuts (Dunkin’s was two words back then).
The lesser part of leadership development is solving problems and learning skills.
Warren Bennis was right when he said, “Leadership is becoming yourself.” Everyone I coach is asking the same question. “How do I write my own story?”
How to write your own story:
I had coffee the other day with a guy in his 70’s. He recently had heart surgery. I thought about what I might ask him. After the usual chit chat, I looked him in the eye and quietly said to my friend, “You’re in the last chapter of your life. How will you evaluate it when it’s over?”
He thanked me for asking.
You’re writing a few lines in your story right now.
#1. Decide what kind of sentences you want to write.
There’s a blank page waiting for you.
#2. Protect the pen.
‘Sister Stress’ shouldn’t be writing your story. ‘Brother Negativity’ shouldn’t dominate your story.
#3. Ask three questions about today’s story:
- How are you opening your heart to people? Self-protective barriers drain life of meaning.
- What makes you think you’re showing up as your true self? Identity drives authenticity.
- What could you do to lower your mask? Masks limit possibility.
#4. Notice distractions:
- Developing skills is a distraction when you’re hollow inside.
- Happiness is a frivolous pursuit. “Was I happy?” is boring. I’m not saying it’s irrelevant, but it’s not grand enough. Sometimes becoming yourself hurts.
- The hardest part of writing your story is ending the chapter you wrote yesterday. The past distracts from the future. An ending is an invitation to begin.
How do you choose to show up in your story today?
Still curious:
Everything You Need to Know About “NOT” Being Yourself
Authenticity is at Least Four Things
Authentic Leadership: What It Is, Why It Matters
Good morning. I’m about to begin a new journey into retirement after 42 years in education. I plan to “write my own story”. Your ideas here will be a great help. Thanks for your encouraging daily messages.
Thanks, Tim. I wish you well. It’s an exciting opportunity.
In each situation, I try to show up and engage in a way that I can add value.
Just published a book, “Leadership Development for Students.”
Engagement is powerful. It’s concerning to hear people talking about doing the bare minimum.
Congratulations on your new book. Here’s the link for anyone interested: https://amzn.to/43WyBU0
When I was working I showed up with the gusto to get things done! If we didn’t get the job done there would be none! The commitment to our customers to give them their needed project in time and budget. The drive to do this everyday comes with the reality of survival and the cycle of life. We all work to survive, live, raise families etc. We learn, teach, help each other to gain the ultimate freedo.s of life liberty, and the pursuit of happiness .
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Dan the one leadership key I have come to appreciate is to develop the ability to change and adapt yourself to the situation you are facing. Brad
Powerful insight, Brad. Personally, I know the pain of refusing to adapt. It’s best to understand the difference between grit and stubbornness.
Thanks, Tim. Show up to do the work. Work is a good thing that gets a bad rap in some circles. The goal is to do meaningful work, not to escape work.
I am about five years away from retirement and I have begun to ask myself if I’m content with the legacy I’m leaving and who will I be when I no longer have work to define me. I’m nervous about the answers to those question and have begun taking better stock of myself and my situation from an emotional and spiritual standpoint. I learned a long time ago that a person has to learn to enjoy the journey. I have done that. Now that I’m nearly there, am I content with where I’ll be? Not sure yet. I have a little more self discovery to go.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I honor your thoughts.
I had a conversation with someone the other day about feeling uncertain about what they’re doing and where they’re going. Life should feel more certain. The path should be more clear. And being yourself should be easier.
I’ve been thinking that a little uncertainty is good. Life is traveling with a compass, but not a road map. We have an idea where we want to go but discover how to get there one step at a time. We’re all novices at living our lives because we are living them for the first time. It keeps us alert.
I wish you well in this chapter.
I love that comment, Dan, that life is traveled with a compass, not a road map. I’ve always (since my college days anyway), lived by the motto that “the joy is in the journey.” Especially when you know where the road ends up for eternity!
Having direction give meaning action.