How Navigating Stressful Situations Can Make You a Hardier Leader
Book Giveaway!!
20 copies available!!
Leave a comment on this guest post by Dr. Steven Stein to become eligible for one of 20 complimentary copies of his new book, Hardiness: Making Stress Work for You to Achieve Your Life Goals.
Deadline for eligibility is 05/11/2024. International winners will receive electronic version.
The mindset you adopt when approaching a stressful situation can affect your reaction and success in dealing with it. Stress itself is not inherently bad, but how you manage it is important.
Each successful encounter with a difficult situation enables your hardiness factor to grow.
The mindset you adopt when approaching a stressful situation can affect your reaction and success in dealing with it.
Some people get through difficult times by becoming more engaged and more challenged.
Where we see ourselves and our sense of control over the things around us play important roles in our ability to overcome the challenges that we encounter in life.
Build commitment:
- Take time to think about what is important and interesting to you.
- Increase your skills and competence in an area that is important to you.
- Take pride in your past successes and achievements.
- Remember the good things in life and count your blessings.
- Spend time with family, friends, and people you care about.
- Pay attention to what’s going on in the world around you.
Be up for the challenge:
- Look at changes as opportunities to learn and get better.
- Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” whenever you fail at something.
- Be willing to change your plans to meet changing conditions.
- Try out new things.
- Take reasonable risks.
- Imagine future positive outcomes.
- Do not dwell on past disappointments. Learn, forgive, and look ahead.
Take Control:
- For difficult jobs, break them into manageable pieces so that you can see the progress.
- Plan ahead and gather the right tools and resources for the task.
- Ask for help when you need it.
- Recognize your successes.
- When you cannot solve the problem, focus on other things you can control.
What was true for you when you became more engaged, more challenged, and more in control during difficult times?
Dr. Steven Stein is a world-renowned clinical psychologist, international best-selling author, sought-after speaker, and founder and Executive Chair of Multi-Health Systems (MHS), a publisher of scientifically validated assessments for over 40 years. His most recently published books include Emotional Intelligence for Dummies and Hardiness: Making Stress Work for You to Achieve Your Life Goals. You can learn more about Dr. Stein on his website.
Would love to read the book. In my role as a Dean of Students, I am always looking for resources to help young adults navigate the stressful situations and to look for “growth” opportunities through them.
This definitely gave me things to think about as it pertains to “obstacles”
Love this, mindset is everything. Thank you for the reminder today. 🙂
I completely agree mindset is everything and determines your approach to the situation. I would love to read more. As an Assistant Superintendent I see my principals in stressful situations daily and would ideas to better support them.
The timing of this post could not come at a better time for me in my career. I am learning to navigate an increasingly stressful environment not only for myself but also the team. It is a culture that I hope to positively impact over time to help everyone navigate situations more effectively.
I’d love a copy! Always needed to get some new perspectives.
When we look at those who succeed, sometimes those who have the most success are not the most intelligent or thought to be the most likely to succeed. Rather, they are the ones who have the best perspective on their challenges. When we decide that our work is also what gives us joy and purpose, it loses its aversion and we become better workers. Your ideas about mindset and perspective provide a plan to accomplish more and feel less fatigued by the work. Thank you!
Very well put. Thanks for the motivator and reminder.
So very true–stress is what we make of it. Our approach and attitude are everything. The circumstances of our life do not define us, our behavior and attitude toward them do. Thanks for yet another inspiring message, Dan!
What a great reminder today! I own a restaurant. Oh the ups & downs… Finding ways to help my team manage their stress that they cant seem to, leave at the door, anymore. I find myself having to council if you will on an almost daily basis.
I would love some more ideas on how to approach this to better my teams performance & attitudes towards life & work balance.
Building commitment is definitely my strength, being up for the challenge depends on how overwhelmed I am at the moment, and taking control is the area I have been working the most on the past couple years in building two sub teams, one for administration and the other for supervisory growth in the group practice I continue developing. What’s interesting is that I did not start out with the goal of creating such a large practice, I just saw a need and tried to fill it. I guess continuing to try and meet that need on a larger scale is navigating stress in and of itself. I enjoy reading your posts every morning because they give me areas to focus on. Thank you
“For difficult jobs, break them into manageable pieces so that you can see the progress” to this wise admonition, I would add that making an appointment for action on my calendar right away is critical.
I do the same thing, Brent. I add a calendar appointment with specific tasks I intend to take during that time. If something of a higher priority comes up and I’m unable to complete the tasks, I simply move (or add) an appointment forward to the next available space on my calendar. As long as I make some progress each time, I feel a sense of accomplishment.
This reminds me of another training I had taken part in it and a motto of it being “you bring the weather” and how your demeanor that you bring to situations plays such a vital role in the outcomes.
Mindset is everything for any task one takes on. It only makes sense to have the right mindset for the situation in front of you. This is a great article that supports a positive mindset.
Positive mindset is key. I seem to work better through stressful situations. Approaching a stressful situation with a positive mindset helps to influence the outcome.
The harder you become the more you’ll want to dive into bigger challenges.
As someone who thrives under stress on my job that mindset does not carry over to life outside the office. At home I get easily overwhelmed and tend to “shut down”. Following some of the pointers listed would certainly help me cope better with the everyday stressors I encounter.
Would be very interested in this book. I appreciate stressful situations but don’t always use them to the best of my ability with my team. I feel I handle.it well but they do not… or I’m just not leading them properly.
Great point but it is true and effective. Getting engaged to resolve difficult issues even though it is stressful and draining, it is rewarding at the end and becomes a motivation for addressing future issues. Also, it will keep your brain younger and active. Excellent concept.
Excellent.
Thanks.
I agree with this way of reframing a challenge. I’ve noticed that when I’ve been in situations that are ‘difficult,’ it causes me to look at from a lot of angles to arrive at a solution. Also, I always feel more empowered once I get through it. Thanks!
Finding the right balance is so important. We are finding more and more people less able to cope with stressful situations and while things in many ways have not changed our reaction to them has.
Hardiness is a skill that can be developed. No different that self control, active listening, or coaching. It’s about mindset and consistency with that mindset. Looking forward to the thinking connected to hardiness
I think there is an inherent value of learning what you can control and what you can’t in order to get through stressful times. As well, I think there’s a need to compartmentalize so that that stress doesn’t carry through on either side of your life. There may be stress at home That you need to compartmentalize so that it doesn’t carry over into your work. Or stress at work that should not carryover to your home. I love the value That this book will bring to people who need to learn that coping!! Would love an opportunity to read it through in full!
Love the spin on this. It’s sometimes hard to remember that this IS the work!
Whether we call it hardiness or resilience, the message is to recognize and develope our ability to deal with challenging situations. We cannot control the situation, but we van learn to control our reactions.
This is a practice you can immediately apply to your daily life and a great reminder that stress does not always have to be a negative thing.
That last bullet point really hit home, “When you cannot solve the problem, focus on other things you can control.” This need to be a mantra that is spoken more frequently then it currently is with a lot of people. Currently working on my mindset! Thanks for the great post.
Reciprocity—-If I am lucky enough to get a copy, I will read it and post a review on Amazon.
This is great Dan! As someone who craves control, one thing I’ve learned helps me cope with an ever changing environment is when things get overwhelming to make a list of the things in my control and out of my control. It helps me be able to shift my focus from worrying about the unknowns, to being able to prioritize what I am able to work on.
Would love to read this book as I move from teaching into an administrator position. As well, I wonder how I might use this knowledge to teach students to build hardiness.
Great post, I tell myself when I’m stressed “good! This means you care!” From there, I try to know all the facts of a situation to help keep us from making up stories which can make stress worse. Keeping love in our heart and understanding all parties (empathy) helps me get through it.
Good morning, and thanks for the thoughts on mindsets. Please redraw if you pull my name, as I can get the book later.
I am transitioning someone on my team to a leadership position and your posts are great tools for her to use as she continues her growth.
Years ago I jotted a quick thought in my journal that I bring to mind when heading into difficult times:
“Always set out buckets before it begins to rain.”
The water (growth, opportunities, and experiences) captured in the buckets during the storm is very beneficial in the future after the storm has passed.
Would love the opportunity to be gifted this book! I have found most wisdom and growth occur because of the hardships we experience. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and helping us to consider the benefits of hardship.
After having just completed an HR investigation, I can attest to the need to adapt to the challenge to stay ahead of the stress. This book would be a helpful read to hone this skill further.
I could use a copy of this today! Thanks for the post and the book.
This was so timely, given what I am dealing with professionally and personally. Thank you.
Great reminder! Hardiness is so important!
Always spot on with quick and easy to follow leadership tips!
Hardiness is the rule I live by, it has shaped me become the person I am today. I consider stress as Eustress, that is the mindset I have developed and I encourage every person I coach and interact with to develop a mindset of acceptance to a challenging situation and exercising control over it. I could definitely use a copy of the Leadership Book.
Thinking about hardiness as a muscle is interesting and hopeful approach. Mindset is important when approaching any challenges.
These discerning steps that you have laid out, could also be used to define valor and courage, not letting fear disrupt strategic planning. Rather, it is one of the awarenesses to consider and plan for
I always appreciate these lessons to help as I lead my team. For a team focused on identifying areas of improvement mindset is key.
This post was perfect timing for me. I was recently having a discussion with an older family member who was gently reminding me about the amount of stress that accompanies leadership roles, and I began to second guess my career goals. This post has eased my mind and reminds me that I am in control of my stress, despite the obstacles that I face. Thank you, as always, for the perfect nugget of inspiration every day!
I love this article. I noticed during the pandemic that some people were able to adjust to the new normal very quickly while others struggled to move at all. I think understanding our natural inclination to stress and change (fight, flight, freeze) can help us be ready for life’s surprises.
Such an important thing to keep our stresses in perspective. Breaking difficult tasks into smaller pieces is a great way to tackle those tasks. Also “Eat that Frog!” 🙂
I have worked in a very stressful environment for close to 30 years and wish I had many of these tips early in my career. I am always looking for new ways to redirect my thoughts in understanding causes and ways to cope to pass those onto the new guys starting out. Great read once again Dan!!
Imagining future positive outcomes and not dwelling on disappointments are things that I’m really trying to be better at right now. It’s always a pleasure to read these posts and be reminded of the small things that make huge differences in outlook.
“I thrive in challenging situations”!! Picture a gladiator arena and all of a suddenly you’re picked as the next contender. Not by choice but rather by chance. How would you react? In times of crisis some of us thrive and some of us fold. I worked in several disaster areas across this country, grew up in the suburbs of Los Angeles back in the seventies and if it’s one thing I learned its that no matter what happens I’m going to figure out a way to solve problems and get things done. Put in an office setting the same rule applies. when there is a facility emergency I make sure the issues get resolved. I also have learned thru self reflection and self awareness what I am truly capable of. I really liked this email Mr. Rockwell!!
Thank You
Marvin
“Do not dwell on past disappointments. Learn, forgive, and look ahead.” This is something I have always struggled with. I definitely tend to beat myself up for my mistakes. Being more in control of my thoughts, emotions, and behaviors is something I’m currently focusing on. Implementing positive and productive coping skills when dealing with stress is a main focus. It sounds like this book would be an excellent supplement to some of the things I’m currently working on. Love it!
Excellent suggestions and guidance. I will use this with my leaders in training.
Thanks for the tip Dan! I wasn’t familiar with Dr. Stein so I listened to a podcast interview with him on my way to work this morning. His 3 C’s are very insightful, looking forward to reading the book!!
Back in the early 90s, I worked for a Fortune 500 company that was teetering on bankruptcy. One of our non-management employees went to the CEO and said, “If you engage your frontline workers, we can save $100 million dollars in a 100 days. I was one of three management members of a team of 30. In short, we identified over $87 million in cost savings and/or revenue generation through ideas submitted by our front line employees. Although we fell short, it bought the company enough time with creditors to restructure.
Now I am in a completely different industry. I would love to read the book, then pass it on to one of our younger managers. Crisis management is hard, but it can bring new opportunities you may not see otherwise.
I could use some hardiness…
This article touches on the point that we don’t grow when things are easy for we are on “automatic pilot” and coast. We are mindless. It is when we face challenges and are uncomfortable that we achieve personal growth through self-reflection and using problem-solving skills. It is then we get a deeper understanding of our strengths, weaknesses and our true potential.
Interesting article, thank you for sharing. Looking forward to learning more about Dr. Steven Stein.
This past year has been one of intense stress, personally & professionally. Thanks for some new insights on ways to deal with challenging situations and help in dealing with them from a growth perspective. Looking forward to learning more about these principles and additional resources for thriving in these challenging times!
As always, a timely topic and bite-sized tidbits to get me through my day, week, month and year! I look forward to reading this book. Thank you for the opportunity.
Good stuff.
This isn’t just a great message for work but for life!
Diamonds come from coal! 🙂
Excellent perspective when thinking about challenges to overcome!
Your mindset determines so much as a leader, especially when it comes to the desired, or not-desired outcome. Positivity, gratitude and forgiveness are key, not only for those you lead, but for yourself. I need to keep reminding myself of that daily. Thank-you for the assist in this.
I love the idea of breaking a big project into smaller steps in order to see progress, but I’m not very good at it. 🙂
Working successfully with soft-money in a grant driven tax-exempt environment can necessitate adaptability. Change can be stressful, though, especially when not always in our control! The one constant is how we choose to respond. Looking through adversity to opportunity is a game changer. As suggested, cultivating hardiness or resiliency from a forward-facing learning mindset is in an invaluable tool at all levels of leadership.
Would be grateful for a copy of the book
I have lived with stress my whole life, and not in a healthy way. The last several years I have been on a journey to learn to use my stress to get things done, rather than prevent me from doing them. I am not perfect, but it has helped. For me, the hardest is getting things done when I am in meetings most of the day. I need to honor my own time as much as I do others. The thing I struggle the most with is looking at what has already been accomplished rather than focusing on what still needs to be done. Thank you for this message!
You always find the most interesting and relevant books. Thank you for sharing!
This is always a create place for learning and development on relevant topics. Thanks for your sharing this perspective!
Stress can be a motivator; I’ve done pretty well with it… The past three years, though, stress has become toxic and harmful. I look forward to the opportunity to read this book.
As my job of 11 years changes, it is very stressful coming up with a relatively new identity. It is very stressful, and the ideas in the article have given me a lot to think about. Thanks for sharing!
Becoming more engaged in stressful situations makes total sense and while I think most leaders “think” they are doing this, I bet we avoid things without even realizing it sometimes. I also wonder if our response varies based on where the stress is coming from – how do we find the variables we can control or influence which likely increases our engagement. I’d love to learn more! Finally, for me, stress at work is totally different than stress at home – I hope these ideas can be applied widely in life!
When facing a difficult situation, rather than asking, “Why is this happening to me?” I try to reframe and ask myself, “What am I supposed to learn from this?”
I think a lot of it comes down to mindset – especially the concept of change – being open to it, looking at it as a learning opportunity and helping others embrace it will be a huge stress reducer not only for yourself but also others.
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ~ 2 Corinthians 4:17
Quoting: “ The mindset you adopt when approaching a stressful situation can affect your reaction and success in dealing with it.” YES!!! If we choose to understand the situation, asking questions of those most involved / impacted, we can subsequently contribute to assist those most directly connected with the situation dealing with addressing it. It is essential that we do not try to impose OUR ‘solution’ regardless of how well we believe our understanding of the situation is; there will ALWAYS be factors we don’t know about.
Yes! We can learn from nearly every experience, just by checking in with ourselves and our mindset 🙂
Great post today. I love the positive, growth mindset. There is always something to learn and be thankful for. I liked the article so much that I started to read the comments. I was surprised at how many comments there were today. Then I reread the top of the post about the free book give-away. I usually just read and sometimes share or forward the posts, but today, I ralso replied! Thanks for the opportunity!
Stressful situations are one of my biggest challenges at work and in life. I would love to understand how to deal with them and make them work for me to reach my goals.
Mindset is important in so many situations but rather a positive mindset, I am working to have a neutral mindset that allows all perspectives to be seen before making decisions. I really like these tips and try to embrace them with each challenge
“Look at changes as opportunities to learn and get better.
Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” whenever you fail at something.
Be willing to change your plans to meet changing conditions.”
I utilize 2 questions when a stressful situation arises; What is the benefits to working through this? What is the harm? most often the benefit list outweighs the harm, and I have convinced my brain and body to release the stress surrounding the opportunity. “We suffer more in our imagination than in our reality.” – Seneca
Great topic! I tend to be most productive with a healthy dose of stress, as I am more motivated and more prone to focus on moving forward.
Learn, forgive and look ahead. If everyone did that we all would be in a much better world!
I have a few ways to deal with stressful situations in my role as a public school superintendent.
Commitment- One way that I bring commitment to stressful situations is to take the time to learn about the topic. When I take the time to learn about a new topic I develop the knowledge and competence to “Ask the right questions” of my experts. For example, if it is situation involving disciplining a student I will peruse Board policy and connect with colleagues in order to speak intelligently with parents or building administrators.
Challenge- Don’t hold grudges. It is important to look forward and not dwell on what has happened in the past. Giving people a second chance is a powerful way to build their competence and their loyalty. It shows that you can forgive mistakes and move on from them and that you expect them to be able to do the same.
Control- Ask for help! The role of a leader in a large organization is so complicated that you cannot possibly know the details of every job and every issue. So, you need to ask for help. There are two categories of people that you can ask for help- internal and external. Ask the experts on your staff. Not only can it help you get control of a situation it also builds their leadership capacity and provides them ownership. External sources are best to use when the situation is confidential- personnel or student discipline come to mind in my role. Plus, there are times where an external source can let you vent and blow off steam… along with providing sage advice that they’ve gained through experiencing similar stressful situations.
Hardiness seems in short supply these days.
Great points on turning stressful situations into moments that make you stronger. I am very interested in reading the book to learn more.
The growth mindset required to access what may be both real and perceived stress is essential to surviving in many leadership roles. Shared experiences, respect and transparency help but are often overlooked when pressures are rising. Exacerbated by the do more, faster with less mantras and reminders of the mountains and valleys faced in many highly competitive industries. We are at a tipping point of technological advancements coming at incredible speed. The human brain is not a machine and requires time to adapt. The neuroscience behind how we react to stress and change is clear and leaders have a responsibility to create psychologically safe environments where their people can thrive, innovate and lead. Especially during times of stress.
Is it grit or is it a deep need for cultural humility in the toughest of times.
Words to live by! Great stuff that you can use each day.
This a great topic for both personal and professional development, as there are definitely times when I think a different approach could have been used for sometimes faster, more thorough, or more advantageous outcomes.
To add to my previous comment, I think that this kind of instruction can help overcome a propensity towards ‘learned helplessness’ scenario in stressful situations by teaching one to remain steady, conscious and aware in stressful situations — so you can not only manage your current stress better but be prepared to act when opportunity allows you to create or take advantage of change.
Our lives are always measured by how we deal with stressful situatons. Sometimes our reactions determine our EI and sometimes they need a lot of reinforcing. That’s where articles and books by authors like you in Leadership and Emotional Intelligence help us to become better Leaders and especially better human beings.
Great read!
“Remembering the good things in life and counting your blessings” is key in setting your mindset! Everything else follows…..
The discussion of hardiness is interesting and makes me wonder how hardiness is related to emotional resilience. The bouncing back, higher, faster and stronger is an idea that resonates with me. How do you see the two character traits interconnecting?
As a Head of School there is no end to challenging situations… lots of opportunities to develop resilience. Bowen Systems and mindfulness practices are a terrific help for both me and my faculty.
I was just having a conversation with my boss about how we need the right amount of stress to help us thrive! Looking forward to reading the book.
There are two things for which I have never prayed – strength and patience. I have a lot of both, but the reason is that there is only one way to get those – through trials and tribulations. Yet for some reason, my world (personal and professional) tests both daily. There is always more to learn with regard to finding ways to best grow through the challenges. And what worked once, my not work again.
Mindset is everything and much harder to keep on the rails versus 5-10 years ago.
Whether you think you can or think you cannot, you are correct. Mindset is so important.
I would love to win a copy of this book! Having the right mindset is so important!!