4 Myths about Coaching You Must Reject
Coaching provides people centered approaches to development and results.
“Coaching is the universal language of change and learning.” Julie Winkle Giulioni
4 myths about coaching:
Myth #1: Coaching isn’t leading
Coaching is a tool and a way of being. Leadership is a way of being.
Coaches focus on people. Asking questions feels awkward at first, but it’s empowering and freeing when mastered.
Tip: Learn to ask forward-facing questions that clarify action. Use “what” or “how” when clarifying action. Use “why” when exploring purpose.
Myth #2: Coaching is slow
In the short-term command and control is fast. Eventually, authoritarian styles stifle initiative, create bottlenecks, add stress, cause adversarial relationships, and demotivate.
Coaching requires up-front investment that produces long-term benefit. Coaching-leaders go slow to go fast.
Tip: Ask yourself, “Is development fast enough to get us where we need to be in a timely manner?” Don’t over-invest in people who don’t fit.
Myth #3: Coaching is soft
Coaching-leaders expect people to own their own development.
Questions that energize:
- What does success look like in terms of behaviors, not simply results?
- What are you great at and how can you do more of that?
- How can you move the ball down the field today? We don’t need a touch-down, just a first down.
- What’s holding you back?
- What are you learning about doing well? About yourself? About team members?
- What’s working?
- What’s not working and what new approaches might you try?
Myth #4: Coaching is easy
The rigors of coaching include:
- Creating space where people take ownership of themselves.
- Resistance from ingrained expectations.
- Developing coaching skills.
- Solving with instead of solving-for.
Coaches trust talent to pull organizations forward.
Not all the time:
Coaching doesn’t work when:
- The house is on fire.
- Talent needs training.
- External factors impede success.
- Employees are know-it-alls.
What suggestions do you have for leaders who aspire to coach their team members?
The four myths are adapted from, “Coaching for Engagement,” by Bob Hancox (My coach).
Still curious:
4 Questions that Guide Your Most Important Conversation
3 Insightful Questions You Can Ask Today
Leaders are focused on changing the status quo. Coaches are focused on helping people change and improve their performance.
Coaches use a variety of techniques.
• Directing Style—Telling the person what to do and how to do it.
• Discussing Style—Asking questions and get the person’s input on what changes are necessary.
• Delegating Style—Ask the person to go off on their own and determine what changes are needed. (Have them do some self-coaching.) And then discuss what they think needs to be done.
Determine if the person lack skills or motivation?
–To improve skills, coaches provide feedback, demonstrate proper technique, point out top performance, videotape current performance and set improvement goals.
–To improve motivation, coaches have a discussion. What is the person’s goals? What’s holding them back? In some cases the coach provide incentives, remove obstacles, encourages positive self-talk, and encourage them to take some baby steps.
Distinguishing between lack of skill and motivation is crucial. And a list of “D’s” is cool. Love alliteration.
I have an employee who started with no skills and over 7 seven years of coaching and training has improved performance substantially and is working at a much higher level however the self-esteem did not improve much and they respond with backpedaling their own good ideas if asked questions to learn more rather than simply answer. The fear is high in this one.
That’s a challenge! Glad you shared, Robin. Congratulations on investing in someone for 7 years.
LOVE this post Dan! There is indeed much confusion about what constitutes effective coaching and what doesn’t. You’ve helped to clarify four very common myths.
Here’s my candidate for Myth No. 5: Coaching isn’t telling what you did or giving advice. Telling and advice focuses on the person speaking, while true coaching focuses on others and helps him/her person think and learn more about themselves and the possibilities of doing something differently.