Transforming Anxiety into Engagement
I sent a note to several leaders, “People are often nervous when the boss shows up. How do you put people at ease?”
The desire to please the boss causes anxiety. People may pretend they aren’t nervous. But authority makes people scamper on the inside, even when working side-by-side.
When The Boss Shows Up People Think:
- What’s wrong?
- Is my work good enough? Am I in trouble?
- What are they after?
- Is something big happening?
- I hope I’m not put on the spot.
- Is someone getting fired?
- I hope they don’t talk to me.
Anxiety blocks peak performance, disrupts routines, and lowers confidence.
A little anxiety brings out our best. Energy goes up. We pay attention to details. Our focus is sharp. Work is dull apart from healthy stress. Lots of fear defeats us.
Transform Anxiety Into Engagement:
Show up frequently. One leader said they participate in activities outside work. Go to social events. Participate in team building activities. This advice may not apply if you are three or four levels up in an organization.
A pattern of showing up normalizes your presence. Be known for talking to everyone from frontline folks to managers.
Another leader mentioned that people judge threat level based on intangibles. What you say is important. How you say it is more important. The higher you go the more menacing you become even if you are a kitten at heart. Another leader suggested that a little humor might help. Just have conversations.
Another text suggested starting on a positive note. One leader asks, “What are you doing here that other teams might benefit from knowing?” You might say, “Tell me about some of your wins.” Affirm, don’t judge.
Note: Leaders create environments where anxiety is less likely but can’t control other people’s emotions. 7 Top Strategies that Break the Grip of Self-Inflicted Anxiety
How can leaders work to lower anxiety in others?
Still curious: Workplace Anxiety: Causes, Symptoms, and Treatment (webmd.com)
In post-secondary education, my interactions with students are often in the less than ideal moment (e.g. academic dishonesty, code of conduct violations), and I think about how I show up as a leader in that moment in many ways, including how I dress. Students are already on high alert when notified of a need to meet with someone about an academic integrity concern. While we include language that references a conversation to support a student continuing in their classes and program, assumptions of being kicked out of school often occur. This results in a student showing up with high anxiety after carrying the mental load of concern for a day or two. Recognizing the goal is coaching to learn and do better next time, I do not wear formal business attire regularly. I wear clothing with the logo of our school and jeans as one way to help the student feel more comfortable in the conversation. Whether showing up as the boss with employees or students, our clothing can send a message as well. Not always a choice with other responsibilities, but perhaps something to consider when showing up.
Such a helpful comment, Heidi. You’re so right about the mental load. Our minds usually go to the darkest places. A headache is a tumor. A talk with school officials is going to bad! The thought that it might turn out good wouldn’t occur to me.
Thanks for sharing how you practice leadership in your context. The non-verbal messages have deep impact.
I was also going to mention the educational context, like Heidi, but with a difference. In secondary education, when the principal or supervising teacher shows up in a classroom the dynamic in the room immediately shifts. The room is not the same. It is very hard to get a sense of what’s truly happening in a classroom because the very act of observation changes the parties being observed. So presence needs to be far more frequent. Thanks, Dan. True for the church also. Pastoral presence needs to be frequent and not simply when things are going wrong.
So true, Pete. The act of observing or being observed changes things. Leaders would do well to remember how difficult it is to get an accurate impression of what’s really happening. Everyone scurries when higher-ups show up. I used to stash the junk on my desk in a drawer out of sight. 🙂
Frequent appearances, even if brief, help build a feeling of normalcy.
I was once given feedback that I am intimidating. It was my position and competency, not my personality. Since then, I make a point of being less formal when talking to newer folks. For example, I deliberately unpack my thought process, I explain terms and jargon (especially acronyms), and I even sit or lean against the wall (rather than towering over someone or being on the other side of desk). All to make the other person accept that I am there for them, to help them do better.
Great application, Jennifer. Leaders don’t realize they scare people. Hopefully, no one would intentionally intimidate. But intimidation isn’t about intention. It’s about tone of voice, demeanor, facial expressions, and more. I’m glad you shared your experience.
Gold – convince people you show up to help.
Q: How can leaders work to lower anxiety in others?
A: Show up frequently – I would add “with no agenda”. Get people comfortable with just having you around. Build the relationships. Then when you need to make a change there is a built-in comfort level.
Love your insight, Ryan. Thanks for jumping in.