7 Ways to Earn the Right to Be Heard
The right to be heard is earned. ‘
Forget leading when no one is listening.
I was asked, “How do I deal with someone who isn’t listening to me?”
Earn the Right to Be Heard
You earn the right to be heard with your ears.
#1. Stop interrupting. Powerful people often interrupt. (Click here to learn how to interrupt successfully.)
#2. Relax when you listen. Manners are inconvenient for people in a rush-and you’re always running to the next thing to do. When time is short, say, “I only have two minutes, is that enough time?” When two minutes are up, explain that you need to go. Offer time later if appropriate.
#3. Invite people to talk about themselves. They’ll listen to you if you’re open to them.
You earn the right to be heard by saying something worth hearing.
#4. Gain a reputation for wisdom. A sage is curious. Rise above immediate issues. Ask about their intentions and goals. Focus on long-term principles. Be humble, kind, and forward-facing.
#5. Ask questions before making statements. Try:
- What would you like to know?
- What’s important to you?
- What are you trying to accomplish?
- What do you know?
- What don’t you know?
- What have you tried?
#6. Release the burden of knowledge. Fixers are frustrating. It takes discipline to pause when you “know” the answer. Listen longer than feels comfortable, you could be wrong.
#7. Avoid over-confidence. Be willing to change. Alan Alda said, “Real listening is a willingness to let the other person change you.”
Quick tips:
#1. Begin with the conclusion. Add explanations after.
#2. Never lie.
#3. Be realistic and optimistic.
How might leaders earn the right to be heard?
Which of the above ideas could you practice today?
Still curious:
5 Powerful Amplifiers of Influence
6 Ways to Communicate Like a Leader—and Be Heard – Texas Conference for Women
Gain expertise. Become an expert at something people value. I listen to my accountant, car mechanic, doctor, editor, and tennis coach because of their expertise.
Thanks, Paul. We don’t like listening to people who talk like they know everything. Experts know what they don’t know. The greater your expertise the narrower your contribution. In this sense, generalists have broader knowledge than experts.
This reminds me of the Dunning Kruger Effect. People have a high confidence level when their competence is low and as their competence grows, their confidence decreases. Experts know what they don’t know.
What an important truth. Novices are confident. They underestimate how much work success requires. Thanks for emphasizing it in this conversation.
Reminds me of the F Scott Fitzgerald quote: “You don’t write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say.”
Brilliant!
The biggest lesson I’ve learned in being heard is to listen more than talk (I use a 2-1 method: 2-ears-to-1-mouth).
As a recovering over-explainer, I particularly appreciate Quick Tip #1: “Begin with the conclusion. Add explanations after.” This has been immensely helpful in being heard by others. I’ve learned to couple that with the KISS principle: Keep It Simple Stupid. I’ve learned this frees others from details that derail their ability to hear what I am trying to convey.
Nothing like the voice of experience! Thank you for sharing, Ryan.