5 Steps to Feedback that Works
Tough conversations increase misery when done poorly. Minimize misery by increasing mastery.
Feedback is future-shaping, not fault-finding.
5 Steps to Feedback that Works
#1. Provide abundant positive feedback.
Negative feedback has positive-impact when there’s abundant honor, reward, and recognition. Bad is stronger than good by about 5X. That means provide many positives.
See the good, say the good. Honor effort, energy, skill, and character.
You get what you honor.
#2. Don’t use positives to soften the blow of negatives.
Reject the practice of beginning with a positive, slipping in the negative, and ending with a positive. The feedback sandwich is full of baloney.
Let positives stand on their own. Get to it when it’s time for corrective feedback.
Say, “I have some feedback that might be hard to hear. I think it will be helpful. I notice….”
#3. Connect corrective feedback to growth.
When someone is working on listening skills, let them know you notice them interrupting.
Growth-goals give tough conversations meaning. Negative feedback is most useful when it supports the person’s objectives, not the critic’s preferences.
#4. Be open with your own growth.
Share what you’re learning from failure. Tell people what you’re currently working on.
Don’t seek sympathy. Share what you’re learning to affirm that growth is a journey not a destination.
#5. Make responsible failure safe.
Don’t beat people down. Failure is unavoidable when people reach high.
“When a group is higher in psychological safety, it’s likely to be more innovative, do higher-quality work, and enjoy better performance, compared to a group that is low in psychological safety.” The Right Kind of Wrong
Make it safe to look bad in the pursuit of excellence. Ask things like, “What are you learning?” Or “What will you do differently next time.”
What can you add to this list?
Feedback: Solving the Most Common Failure in Leadership
1. Start by observing behavior. Sometimes, just one observation, such as watching a presentation, is enough. In others, you will need multiple observations to spot patterns, such as how someone contributes in meetings.
2. Be ready to describe their behavior and the consequences of their actions. Include some specific examples. “When you interrupted Jane before she finished her idea, it caused frustration and derailed the conversation.”
3. Resist the urge to give advice immediately. Obtain the person’s self-assessment by asking questions. “What did you think of your presentation?” “What role do you see yourself playing in team meetings?” Be open to their perspective.
4. Assess the person’s openness. Ask them, “Are you open to some feedback on today’s meeting?” Take advantage of teachable moments. You are wasting your time if they are overly emotional or shut down.
Thanks for your insights, Paul. I never worked for a boss who gave me useful feedback. They knew how to instruct. They know how to point out what’s wrong.
The thing that often gets left out is connection to purpose. How does improving in this area advance your career? Or how does it help you get where you want to go.
Feedback is best when it advances aspirations.
Dan, I think employees needs to take an active role in soliciting feedback. Asking specific questions that identify what changes are needed and why.
Employees need to perform well in their current job, before they will be considered for bigger roles in the organization. (Career Aspirations)
If an employee isn’t getting good feedback and suggestions from their boss, they need to seek advice from mentors or other colleagues.
I think feedback is best when it motivates the person to commit to some specific actions they will take to be more effective and efficient.
Agree 100% Own your own development.
Hi Dan, I love your quote, “Feedback is future-shaping, not fault finding.” This perspective is a great one to take when reflecting on how to frame your feedback.
Thanks, Bella. We can change the future. The past never changes.
Insightful post as usual, Dan!
Recognize that the feedback we give usually addresses a small percentage of what the person did. Where does most feedback start? On the things WE want to see improved! What if we gave them feedback in proportion to what they actually do, so that much of what we say would recognize and reinforce what they do, and they’d appreciate the affirmation and be more likely to continue the behaviors we affirm! Even when we addressed the small percent of what they need to improve, it would be more welcome because it reflects more accurately on what they do…
“Negative feedback is most useful when it supports the person’s objectives, not the critic’s preferences.” This line struck a chord with me. First, we must know what our people’s objectives are, and these objectives—did we help them define them? We should not necessarily shape our people into an image we have created in our minds. We should help them reach for and obtain their defined goals. Thank you, Dan.