Feedback: Solving the Most Common Failure in Leadership
Research indicates feedback-seeking is the behavior leaders fail at the most.*
The mirror you use to see yourself is distorted. You believe you’re helping. They want you to get out of the way. You think you’re encouraging. They think you’re pushy. Distortion is painful.
Seeking feedback expands potential.
5 reasons leaders don’t seek feedback:
- Ignorance. You don’t know how.
- Fear. You fear looking human.
- Overconfidence. You have arrived.
- Lack of opportunity. You can’t find someone to tell you the truth. If all the feedback you receive is positive someone is lying or everyone is ignorant.
- Lack of time.
Who has time for self-development when you’re so busy?
2 insights about feedback:
Seeking feedback isn’t asking for advice.
You explain what you see when you give feedback. When you ask, “How could I improve,” you’re seeking advice.
Don’t let others control you. Ask for multiple options when seeking advice. Avoid situations where you have to say, “I’m not going to do that.”
Protect choice by seeking multiple option.
Ask questions about behaviors.
- What did you think I was working to accomplish when I (describe a behavior)? Don’t tell people what you were doing. See if your behaviors reflect what you were trying to accomplish.
- What am I doing that helps you connect to organizational values and mission? (Be specific)
- What am I doing that enhances your performance? Hinders?
- When am I most effective? Least effective?
- How am I enhancing the performance of teams? Hindering?
- How am I supporting your professional growth?
- What’s one thing I do that helps me …? Describe an outcome you are working to achieve.
Responses to feedback:
- Thank you.
- Tell me more.
- What suggestions do you have? (Always in plural form.)
The pursuit of excellence requires feedback.
What might leaders do to solicit useful feedback?
What are some useful responses to feedback?
3 Ways to Give Feedback that Works
The ABCs of Giving and Seeking Feedback that Really Works
Bonus offer:
I’ll send you a hand signature plate if you purchase our new book, The Vagrant, and leave a review on Amazon. Offer good through October, 2023. Copy and paste your review into an email along with your mailing address to thevagrantbook@gmail.com and we’ll send you a hand signed signature plate.
Order The Vagrant:
Feedback is critical for growth. Giving and receiving………..
We need to be intelligent, and not artificial.
We need to elevate the human elements for the world, building the next generation of leaders. Paul
Genuine is essential for sure. We could add, seek feedback from people who are committed to your success.
Mission, vision, alignment. When these are off or unclear, it’s difficult if not impossible to lead. What exactly are we trying to accomplish and how will we measure it? Why is this “thing’ we are trying to accomplish important to each person involved? Trust means I believe that you believe that this “thing” WE are trying to accomplish is at least equally important if not more important than your personal goals.
Thanks Brian. Regarding a leader’s personal goals. Personal growth and development goals are most important for leaders. They shouldn’t conflict with organizational goals. If they do, it’s time to move on.
And yes, feedback is most useful in the context of organizational mission.
Feedback is important and good. But it’s even better in the context of the mission.
I appreciate the two insights about feedback in today’s post – it’s not “tell me anything you want” – it’s specific questions to see if my behaviors match my goals. It’s less about me and more about my effectiveness in our work together. Great lens to put in front of “feedback”.
Brilliant summary.
Thank you, Dan. A timely reminder that I must get on and prioritise my leadership feedback survey! Sometimes, the feedback is tough to take, but it is almost always helpful in growing my leadership.
Thank Rob. In a busy world it’s easy to neglect feedback. After all, who has time to improve. 🙂