Cheater at Home – Cheater at Work?
Personal behavior isn’t private when you lead.
Andy Byron, CEO of the tech firm Astronomer, and Kristin Cabot, its Chief People Officer, were captured in an embrace on a Coldplay “kiss cam” (July 16, 2025).
Both Byron and Cabot were married to other people. Their response to seeing themselves on the jumbotron suggests infidelity. Byron resigned his CEO position at Astronomer hours later. Cabot, the head of HR, resigned shortly after.
Research shows a cheater in one area often cheats in others.*
Cheater at Home – Cheater at Work
Infidelity doesn’t stay in the bedroom. It shows up at work.
Research shows financial advisors, police officers, and CEOs who used a marital infidelity website were significantly more likely to engage in professional misconduct.
Cheating requires justification.
- “No one will know.”
- “I deserve this.”
- “It’s not really that bad.”
The same thinking fuels fudged numbers, favoritism, and shady deals. Cheaters who justify marital unfaithfulness are more likely to excuse unethical behavior at work.
Correlation, Not Causation
The research suggests correlation, not causation, between personal infidelity and professional misconduct. But ethical lapses tend to cluster. Use this to reinforce risk management and ethics programs.
What to Do
- Hire for character. Results without integrity are dangerous.
- Listen for rationalizations. It’s a red flag when someone explains away wrong behavior.
- Watch for congruence. Integrity means consistency. Private courage supports public trust.
Cheaters have shown they can lie to someone they promised to love. That matters.
Leadership magnifies character.
The higher the position, the louder the example.
Culture suffers when cheaters rise.
What happens when leaders have one standard for themselves and a different standard for others?
I had a A Moral Dilemma at Dunkin.
Sources:
*Personal Infidelity and Professional Conduct
*Cheating & Honesty – Ethical Systems
What happens when leaders have one standard for themselves and a different standard for others?
Your credibility is shot.
And, in many cases (not all), you are called a politician.
For some reason, the word accountability came to mind after reading your comment. Lack of accountability permits flagrant abuse.
I overheard a man say recently, before the Kiss cam incident, that he would not do business with a man who cheated on his spouse. The person he was speaking with was quite taken aback, and asked why. “It’s simple” he said. If the person you sleep with and have taken vows with can’t trust you, why should I?” Mic drop.
What’s true in one part of your life, is true in all parts of your life.
Trust is the foundation for everything. Thanks for a powerful story.
Yes, yes, yes. Honesty and integrity are a lifestyle, not situational. Thank you for sharing this. If there is no accountability, faithfulness in the most sacred of all human relationships, you can’t trust there will be accountability or faithfulness in other relationships.
I think the idea of faithfulness in big things can go in the other direction. Faithfulness in small things points to an ability to be faithful in bigger things. But when you start with the big things it lends more confidence.
Warren Buffet once said: “In looking for people to hire, look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence and energy. And if they don’t have the first, the other two will kill you.”
Powerful point, Jennifer. A cheater with intelligence and energy is dangerous. Thank you.