Strength that Seems Weak
People say forgiving feels like giving in, but the world collapses when every interaction becomes a courtroom. When conversations are trials, relationships become prisons.
Some say, “I can’t let people walk on me.” But what if deference reflects power? Defensiveness isn’t dignity.
Immaturity always stands up for itself. But strength isn’t loud. Power isn’t demanding. Insecure leaders defend their ego. Secure leaders focus on mission.
Strength that Seems Weak
#1. Surrender
Surrender flows freely from self-knowledge. Yieldedness combines self-knowledge with self-assurance.
Don’t let people walk on you but release the need to always win. Surrender isn’t giving up when it expresses your values. Ego-based victory is defeat.
If you aren’t willing to personally engage to make something better, let it go. Go with other people’s ideas.
#2. Forgiveness
Forgiveness expresses freedom. Grudges fester in small souls.
Smallness clings. Wisdom lets go.
It takes strength to stop rehearsing offenses. Wisdom knows the past never changes. Vision turns toward the future.
#3. Generosity.
Open-hearted kindness requires confidence. The best insecurity can do is manipulate people with fake generosity. Greed hides behind fairness.
Never let fairness justify a small heart. Confidence gives with an open hand.
#4. Forbearance
Do you always need to prove you’re right?
Naiveté says everything that comes to mind. Wisdom appreciates restraint. Don’t humiliate or belittle others.
It takes strength to choose relationship over being right.
#5. Service
Weakness screams, “Serve me.” Strong leaders show up to advantage others.
Ego needs validation and recognition. Servant leaders work to make others successful. Their success is your success.
Power isn’t control, defense, or dominance. It’s confidence to serve.
Only fools think weakness is strength.
What does strength look like if you jettison ideas like controlling people.
Read more: Power in the Face of Disruption
Weakness is the New Strength: How Vulnerability Makes Leaders Stronger
Dan, Thanks for this post during the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons. It represents to me a great recalibration of mindset from self-centered to Kingdom Centered – which you know about since you were a pastor! Happy Thanksgiving!
Confidence to serve- so beautiful. Thank you.
You’re a lucky person if you’ve matured enough to both grasp the wisdom of this post and put it to use. In addition to improving your relationships, letting go of the insecurity and defensiveness that wastes so much time & energy is also very liberating.
Awesome post – thank you for sharing these insightful words!
This is great! I am going to practice this today in personal and professional relationships. Thank you!
This is so rich. Many have learned to pray “Forgive us our debts [trespasses] as we forgive our debtors [those who trespass against us]!” Forgiving others is doing to them what we would want others to do to us if the roles were reversed. The debt is paid, and I won’t bring it up again. THAT restores relationships! But if we refuse to forgive, well we shouldn’t be surprised when others don’t forgive us!
Very powerful, wise, and unforgettable post. Indeed, it’s confidence to serve. I love it! Thank you for doing all you do!
Some (a lot?) of defensiveness comes from word choice. Surrender implies you have no choice; relinquish implies you do.