Personal Frailties and Leadership Credibility
Sharing failures exposes performance deficiencies. Sharing frailties, on the other hand, concerns personal behaviors.
Done well, sharing frailties strengthens connections and enhances credibility. Done poorly it demoralizes others, undermines leadership, and hinders organizational success.
In a tell-all world privacy is not a sin.
Keep most of your current personal frailties within a very small circle of trusted family and friends. In my opinion, publicly telling-all is self-indulgent immaturity. It’s a plea for love.
Guiding principle #1
Impact on others informs sharing personal frailties.
Three reasons to share frailties:
- Share to connect – identify with organizational employees and colleagues.
- Expose to encourage – let people know you experience similar battles to theirs.
- Explain to instruct – give others a glimpse of your frailties when it helps them find their way.
Most importantly, keep it to yourself until you’ve made substantial progress.
Five components of sharing personal frailties:
- Carefully explain frailty in personal terms with illustrations that highlight your weakness.
- Clearly describe corrective actions taken.
- Plainly illustrate progress achieved.
- Humbly state your progress is ongoing.
- Don’t be a self-defeated whiner.
What if?
Frailties may bleed into moral or legal failures. Once again, impact on the organization determines the level of openness. For example, the moral failure of religions leaders requires calculated public exposure in ways that protect individuals and organizations.
Guiding principle #2
The level of offense determines the level of acknowledgement.
For example, blowing up at one person should be addressed with that one person. There’s no need for a company-wide video conference to explain that you lost your temper with one of your managers.
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7 Ways to Fail and Maintain Credibility
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What suggestions can you offer for sharing personal frailties in ways that enhance credibility?
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Interview where leaders exposed their frailties and failures:
Joe Tye: Finding his contribution Pt. 1
A Different Kind of Courage – G.J. Hart
A Dealer in Hope – G.J. Hart
Dealing with Disappointment and Delay – Kevin Eikenberry
In over his head – Scott Eblin
John G. Miller on Life and Leadership
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I believe in seeing frailties as facts. How we feel about our frailties are just that – feelings. Keeping facts and feelings separate lead us to truth.
Showing our vulnerability in a constructive way can be one of the greatest gifts we can offer another. If they are open to the gift, it enables them to own their own vulnerabilities with compassion and discover, phew!, we’re all divine scraps of humanity doing the best with what we’ve got right now.
Great post! Thank you…
Dear Dan,
I agree that sharing frailty strengthens connections and enhances credibility. It yields positive result when is the shared to trusted one. It is very good point. Sharing with anyone and everyone may expose you into dark danger of losing credibility. I think, sharing frailty with sincerity with trusted one, encourages you. It is a sign of moral power and starts increasing moral strength.
I think, sharing personal frailties to enhance credibility needs personal sincerity. Personal sincerity in the way, that you will not repeat it, you will show your improvement, you will encourage and help others to share their frailty to raise their standard of living etc.
There are people who always repeat about their frailty but never try to overcome it. Even if they share it, they repeat it doing. The other important thing is when we delay in exposing our frailty, it does more harm and help. So, sooner you realise your moral weakness, you should share it with a promise that you will overcome it. Simply sharing does not help if you do not have will power to win over frailty.
Dear Dan,
Sharing fratalities helps alot, it will provide accessment of an leader to his followers. but always we must be extra careful in this exercise and post exercise we must measure be able to measure the impact.
Regards
Dear Dan
I agree with Sharan Eden and see that disclosure of failings and frailties is a gift. However, as with all gifts, we choose who we offer it to. In a business setting, it is essential that disclosure is made in an appropriate setting. As you have said, it isn’t for everyone’s consumption. In a church/faith/religious setting, it may be more appropriate to share this gift in a larger context. However, it must be our own stuff, and not somebody elses (without their permission). And it shouldn’t be disclosed just like that. The setting has to be right.
My husband and I often disclose our stuff to others, usually in a teaching setting, because it helps others know that we are human beings, vulnerable, open to temptation, and we haven’t got it all together yet. It also shows that we are dealing with our stuff and we are on the right path to being healed. And that there is hope – something that people everywhere are seeking.
Thanks for the post and the opportunity to contribute.