Mehrdad comes of Age
It was 1975 when the Baghai family fled Iran seeking religious freedom in Toronto, Canada. Mehrdad, their 9 year old son, landed in an English speaking classroom having learned English grammar and vocabulary but not slang.
Mehrdad Baghai
He was tricked into addressing his teacher by saying, “F*** you Miss.”
Before his first hour in class ended, 9 year old Mehrdad Baghai landed in detention.
When I asked, Mehrdad couldn’t identify any specific tipping points in his rich life. I waited and listened as he talked around tipping points until he landed on, “All the shaping events of my life center around injustice.” Specifically, he’s troubled by humanities inability to unify around positive goals.
Fast forward 34 years. It’s 2009. 43 year old Mehrdad is coauthoring a book with one of the world’s most powerful CEO’s, James Quigley. Jim is CEO of Deloitte Touche Tohmatsu Limited, a global company with 170,000 professional employees.
As One on Amazon
Jump two years, its 2011 and their book, “As One” is done. Seasoned leader, “young” Mehrdad is pursuing his passions.
He had difficulty explaining his “career.” After circling the topic, he landed on, “I’m a silo breaker.”
Mehrdad loves helping high level leaders like Jim Quigley enhance their organizational impact. I asked him what, in specific, he offers leaders. It was obvious he’d already clarified his approach because he seamlessly outlined a methodology centered around three high level questions. He said, “I ask…”
- What are you doing to make people feel like they belong?
- What are you doing to help people realize they matter?
- How are you helping people work together?
Nine year old Mehrdad has come of age and is shaping a world reflecting the image of his inner values. Values formed around the crucible of injustice.
Answer his questions, you’ll change the world!
Click here to read my review of “As One.”
What can leaders do to make people feel they belong, realize they matter, and help them work together?
Looking forward to the review. We forget how cruel and unjust we can be to “outsiders”, especially when we r children. Great to see someone make positive use of his trials
Hi Martina,
Thanks for your comment. The really cool thing about Mehrdad is attitude about adversity. I’m sure he could have told me a series of difficult stories from his life in Iraq. But he didn’t.
Also, he has always been good at relationships. Although his education in Toronto got off to a rocky start, he indicated he never had problems connecting with people.
Cheers,
Dan
Those three questions are “deal breakers” for sure, Dan. Given my profession, I cannot help but apply them to that. Accepting people with a No Perfect people Allowed approach is essential. looking forward to the review.
Bill,
Love your contribution of “No Perfect People Allowed.” Very powerful and helpful.
Best,
Dan
Really interested to read the review, I am writing my MA dissertation on ‘Transitional leadership between Baby Boomers to GenXers to Millenials’ It seems as though the answers to those three questions are key to helping those types of transitions become successful.
What can leaders do to make people
Feel they belong? – Listen
Realize they matter? – Listen and appreciate
and
Help them work together? – Listen, appreciate, reflect (set the example of working together, get most excited abou tthose things which have been resolved by working together rather than those things solved by individual pursuit).
I love the anecdote (no,I didn’t go to school with Mehrdad)
Richard
Great stuff, Croadie. Listening is such a powerful tool in affirming. Asking appropriate questions affirms that they matter. Focusing on what they are doing right also helps release more positive energy – doing it with a group is a powerful way to generate more of what you want.
Thanks for your contribution.
Jim
Ditto, great list LiS!
To riff off of it just a little…
lend an ear, then lend an ear and a voice and finally lend an ear, voice and hand. For the third one be tactile and do the work or make contact or both. As this is about making connections, the more ways the better.
What can leaders do to make people feel they belong?
Seek to understand before seeking to be understood,
realize they matter?
Ask for feedback, recognize their accomplishments, learn what excites them
Help them work together?
Shared goal incentives, luncheons with discussions
Book sounds fantastic!! Great title!!!!!
I’ve learned in my years of service delivery in Healthcare that the focus placed on ensuring your employees are “stable” should outweigh the focus placed on patients being stable. I love those 3 questions because they challenge leadership to engage employees.
Can’t wait for the review.
Adrian
I know a significant leader right now who is a nice guy, wants to do well, but can’t seem to get there and is struggling to maintain the respect of his primary team. Why? Because most of his thinking on leadership has little to do with Mehrdad’s three questions. He’s developed a mindset about leadership that has more to do with being seen as the one in charge, the smartest one, the one who’s “most right,” etc. If he could add Mehrdad’s questions to his understanding of leadership, he might just be able to rescue what’s slipping away from him right now and what will most make him successful….his people! Good fodder for my next coffee time with my friend!! And, perhaps, a copy of “As ONE” would be a nice gift for him as well!! Thanks Dan!! Steve
In pondering your questions, I can’t help but thinkg of the book Gung Ho by Ken Blanchard and Sheldon Bowles. The keys: help employees realize they’re doing worthwhile work, put them in control of achieving the goal, and give them ways to cheer each other on. And be right in there with them.
I appreciate his push to connect with the individual and the collective simultaneously…. to awaken what is possible, to push the conversation into where it hasn’t gone before, and to bring forth a sense of responsibility in the individual in making a difference.
Thanks for bringing Mehrdad onto our radar.
Was reading a piece by Bill Taylor (Fast Company) yesterday. He was talking about companies of value and asking What are they contributing to their industry, to their community, to the greater good (world)? Mehrdad’s question at an individual level (doing to help others belong, matter, work better together) seem to be the building blocks of contribution for organizations.
Seems to me that when people feel like they belong and matter that they are more likely to look outside of themselves to be part of something of greater good…first at work, then in the community, then beyond. Wow! Connecting starts with my/our ability to impact individuals at a very basic level. Not complex, just difficult.
Jim
Interesting Jim, seems like it is a simultaneous process of truly seeing the individual and at the same time seeing the world contribution, great balancing act and perspective. Thanks for the reference to Mr Taylor will go track that down, sound like a knowledgeable person!
Dan, going back to your strategic speed interview, I’m struck by how much he focuses on UNITY. 3 very powerful questions.
Steve, Thanks for bringing that up.
The key point of that book are listed here: http://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/2010/12/01/strategic-speed/
Best,
Dan
Merdad, you had me at ‘silo breaker’!
What appear to be, on the surface, relatively benign questions dig to the soul of leadership and tell you if there is a soul.
Am also struck how the three questions have underpinnings at the heart of EI values and concepts, and offer layers of paths, which if we choose, we can journey on as leaders. (watch out for those mirrors!)
Since heart and soul are covered, if you are just thinking about the book, click on Dan’s Amazon link at the top and watch the 3 minute video about the book… I ordered the book right after that! Moving it to the top of my reading list.
Speaking of ‘silo breaking,’ I really enjoyed Patrick Lencioni’s book “Silos, Politics & Turf Wars.” I’ll be curious to compare & contrast Lencioni’s work on this with Mehrdad’s book. Excited to read it!
Doc, Glad you caught that “silo breaker” thing. I’m so impressed with Mehrdad, his passion, experience, and insights.
The more I think about the 3 questions the more I think I’m adopting them as the three best operational questions a leader can ask.
Cheers,
Dan
Doc is a featured contributor on Leadership Freak. Read his bio at http://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/doc
I believe leaders should actively listen to what their people have to say, take action based on what was heard, and finally empower them to act in the best, long-term interest of the business.
Wow! “Silo breaker!” I love that. 13 years ago, I took over an IT department and removed all subunits and had everyone report directly to me (small shop, around 10 people). In those 10 people, we had distinct silos that wouldn’t work with each other. Now as a CIO in a much larger group (around 50), I’m working hard to break down the silos and get us all working together toward the same goals. I never thought about that being one of the most important parts of my job to enable others to work together to accomplish our objectives. Looking forward to the reviews of the book and reading it myself.
Dear Dan,
I think leaders can influence others through integrity and authenticity and by becoming role model. At the same time, Caring, encouraging and helping are the key elements to make them feel they belong, realize they matter, and help them work together. It means leaders should shown caring attitude towards other. They should show affection in attitude and behaviour with others. Encourage their ideas and help them to connect them with their puspose. Help them to reveal, realise and connect their strength with their goals. Many a times, people do not know their strengths and weaknesses. So, leader provide opportunity to realise and make them feel a flavour of connect.
Leader should show value, justice and transparency in their dealings, attitude and decisions. Action speaks louder than words. Leaders need not to teach others about morality, ethics and integrity. People should see and inspire from your action that reflects all these.
Dan, Great insight!!!!! He is really challenging us as leaders to “be fruitful”……………as we do we will multiply many times over our impact on those around us and leave a lasting legacy. Be blessed, Howie
I think the image that came to my mind doesn’t directly address your question of the day, but touches on the “silos” thing. I recently read an article in Guideposts Magazine about Sanjay Gupta, MD, the CNN Physician/Reporter. Like Mehrdad, his was an immigrant family (with the difference that Sanjay was born in the US I think or was younger than 9 when he arrived, among other differences).
In the article, he talks about the forces that shaped him to take the career path he has, including a grandparent’s serious neurological illness when he was at a formative age – the point where he decided he was going to be a surgeon. He also along the way discovered a love of writing. Those two passions are what led him to be a physician who reports. When he accepted the CNN gig, he insisted that his contract be structured in a way that he could still do surgery. I see journalism and medicine as two entirely different cultures, so I think Gupta’s trajectory was the equivalent of breaking down silos. He said people who criticize his choice to operate (such as surgery on a child when he was reporting in Haiti) don’t faze him — it’s what he does – doctor and report, report and doctor.
I want the book! I love thinking that we are responsible for helping people feel like they belong, helping people realize they matter, and helping people work together for a better result for the ‘enterprise’.
My group is known for knocking down silo walls. We try to collaborate and assist other groups. Many folks seem to be spending too much time protecting their rice bowls (my word for silo).
Nothing inspires more than sincere belief from your ‘manager’.
Thanks Dan for another good post!
Leaders are born , shaped and reshaped throughout their life span , in earlier days it was told that leaders are only born and certain category of family or group of familiys has this as a birthright , but with the changing scanario we can realise and find that this is not the case , leaders are not only born they can be trained and shaped to become leader ,some learn it by their own experiance ansd some learn this technique in the school and college , , Mehrdad could be shining example of born and shaped leader , condition does not always favour you , this is not a only example , Today also the behavour a of school and college is the same in most of the cases where the deprived class is made to suffer and has to face the dilema of dignity , here comes the leadersship spirit , the indiviual without realising his potential as a leader react in a manner that becomes the leadersship quoitient, Another shining from indian soil is the Infosys chief and mentor Mr. Narayan Murthy , who does not have money to start a venture he dreamed of , Banks rejected his loab application , here comes the leadership struggle , strife and competence , he by virtue of his self determination build a empire to be emulated and still going . we need to shape the budding leaders for better tomorroes for our next generation to comes .
Dear dan
Hats off to you for this burning example .