What Most Leaders Need Most

Don’t get so busy getting things done that you end up done yourself. Experience shows many leaders between 45 and 55 years old are so connected with business that they become disconnected with themselves.

Don’t get so lost in business that you lose yourself.

Gary Anzolone, CEO of CEO Clubs NYC, sat beside me for lunch yesterday at the Harvard Club. I asked Gary how he became interested in the CEO Club movement.

Gary said he remembered the first time he attended the CEO Club. It gave me a chance for self-reflection, to have conversations about business but not actually do business. As Gary talked, the words refreshed and encouraged came to mind.

Leaders are so busy doing business they seldom take care of themselves beyond distracting entertainments.

Leadership is who you are before it is what you do.

Most leaders most need focused time to care for invisible issues, matters of the heart.

Leader’s hearts are nourished
by authentic relationships with other leaders.


  1. Take the first step by opening up, authentically. Don’t spill your guts. Just toss a bit of your heart out.
  2. Cultivate relationships with those who reciprocate your openness.
  3. Look for courageous truth speakers who look you in the eye and say it like it is.
  4. Look for someone who affirms more than fixing or explaining. Fixers offer advice too quickly. Those who explain why you think or feel the way you do, devalue and minimize you. The world is filled with fixers and explainers; stop being one yourself.
  5. Brag to someone and see if they try to out-do you.
  6. Celebrate the success of others.
  7. Look for connections outside your business.

What are you doing to connect with other leaders?