Top 10 Ways to be Tough
It’s tempting to turn back when progress is slow, you feel alone, or you’re unappreciated.
If leadership was easy, more people would do it.
Meaningful achievement always requires resilience.
Temptation to turn back at every corner:
- Good intentions go bad.
- People don’t appreciate your sacrifice.
- Unexpected obstacles emerge.
- Progress is slower than expected.
- People let you down.
- Your best falls short.
- Constant pressure wears you down.
Top 10 ways to be tough:
- Choose sprinting. Don’t do hard stuff all the time. Do hard stuff for awhile, then do easy stuff.
- Fear failure. Fear losing the respect of colleagues and clients. Put yourself in positions where others depend on you.
- Just start. Say, “I’m working 15 minutes on this project I’ve been putting off.” One part of being tough is starting.
- Reward yourself. Don’t rush on to the next thing. If you get done sooner than expected, reward yourself with a short walk around the block. Re-energize.
- Engage in mission-driven thinking. Tasks wear down; mission energizes. Find something that pulls you through life. Stop pushing all the time.
- Suffer. Toughness is the result of enduring tough circumstances. Every time you quit you weaken your resolve.
- Become accountable. Tell others what you’re working to accomplish and ask them to ask you about it.
- Be honest with others and yourself, even when it hurts. Pretending and lying weaken everyone. A moment of honesty energizes.
- Accept what you can’t control. Working to change what won’t change wastes energy and wears you down.
- Commit to learning. The need to be right drains you. Learning energizes.
Bonus: Re-energize with people outside your organization. Find a coach. Connect with a mentor. Brag or complain to someone you don’t work with.
How can leaders develop the ability to be tough?
Dan, thanks for the wisdom. I especially appreciate #6. I learned this lesson earlier this year when I was training for my first 25K. On one occasion I was scheduled for a long run, but I ended the run way short of my scheduled goal – seven miles short. I quit and this decision to quit early negatively impacted my next few runs. i didn’t realize how much one decision would weaken my resolve to move forward. I toughed up and was able to run and finish the race in a better time than anticipated. I desire my leadership to be as tough. Again, thanks for the leadership wisdom.
Your closing “bonus” is a very strong point… I’ve enjoyed deep friendship ls with others in similar jobs or life circumstances, who I could share struggles and victories as well as bounce ideas around with. Having been in both roles of talker and listener removes the “it’s only me” fear and the discussion alone often feels cathartic.
Good advice, thank you. Developing resilience is something we need to get better at, for ourselves and for those around us. Your list I will be sharing with my colleagues.
That said, I should probably demonstrate a little resilience and ignore the image that you’ve used to demonstrate toughness, but I can’t. I wish you had found a different image to reflect the content of your post and not used one that reinforces the bull breed stereotype of a ‘tough’ dog.
Better talk enough to ascertain the root of the problem though…
Labor day reminds us to reflect on all that we do well. We are not alone
Good piece Dan. I liked particularly the Caption- Talk expands problems. action solves them. I Would like to modify this. Talk need not lead to expand problems all the time. Sometimes we need to talk to find solutions to a problem which cannot be solved. But as you have stated correctly talk needs to be done with correct persons so the the desired objective is achieved.
Hi Dan
Loved the article, and the picture.
For me, #9 also means knowing when to back off or walk away. If you have been honest with yourself and given your all, yet the outcome you want is not achievable, you need to courage to try something different.
Dan,
Building on your point about accepting what cannot be changed, I’m reminded of Stoic philosophy (I just finished reading Ryan Holiday’s book on this theme a few days ago: The Obstacle Is The Way).
I think toughness comes from understanding that a very great deal in life can be changed, given enough effort and organization.