One of the Biggest Shifts in Leadership

Regret with the end, hurts more than dissatisfaction at the beginning. Disappointment is realizing the cheese moved.

  1. You don’t want what you wanted.
  2. You aren’t getting where you want to go.
  3. You don’t like who you’ve become.

When you’re disappointed with yourself, it doesn’t matter what others say.

kindness is magnetic.png

The shift:

You begin thinking one way, but end up thinking another.

  1. You thought you would be in charge, but you’re putting others in charge.
  2. You thought leadership was about you, but it’s about others.
  3. You thought it was about control, but you found it’s about release.
  4. You thought it was about giving, but now you need to receive.

Surprisingly, kindness is the grease that shifts your thinking.

Kindness is simply being useful to another.

Receive and enjoy:

One of the biggest shifts in leadership is finding you must receive. When you don’t receive kindness, you tell others they don’t matter. 

Arrogance makes you minimize the kindnesses of others. You’re afraid of enjoying kindness, it might make you look needy or weak.

An open hand gives and receives. An open heart is a full life.


Received kindness, not coercion, is influence. Benjamin Franklin said, “He that has done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged.”

Three ways to receive kindness and extend influence: 

  1. Say thank you with gusto. “Wow! Thanks so much.”
  2. Explain how much you enjoy an act of kindness.
  3. Publicly share the kindnesses of others.

Three kindness tips:

  1. You go further with others. Leaders who give all the time end up with nothing to give. Nothing limits leaders more than believing they can succeed on their own.
  2. Adopt a short-term view. Don’t reject long-term planning, but focus more on kindness today.
  3. One small kindness doesn’t solve all your challenges. Enjoy it anyway.

How might leaders learn to receive and enjoy kindness from others?

stoner endorsement