How to Take Control of Your Life

If you don’t choose how to show up – before you show up – someone else eventually controls your life.

It’s misery when you give control of your life to disappointing-others.

  • A disappointing boss expects more with less, but grants exceptions to himself.
  • A disappointing team makes excuses for poor performance, but all the leader does is complain about the performance of the team.
  • A disappointing employee wants you to change, but refuses to change herself.

Success is learning to thrive even when others disappoint.


Begin your day by choosing how to show up – before you show up.

Tip: choose an attribute that applies in a broad array of situations.

You think stupid things when you give control of your life to others.

  • If they appreciated me, I’d bring my best.
  • If I had a better team, I wouldn’t have to be a jerk.
  • If I had a better boss, I would manage my team better.
  • If I had a bigger salary, I would have more energy.

Never let others be the reason you bring less than your best-self to work.

Choose an attribute:

  1. Humble.
  2. Confident.
  3. Decisive.
  4. Open.
  5. Humorous/bright.
  6. Affirming.
  7. Challenging. (As in expecting yourself and others to rise.)
  8. Foreword-facing.

Choose an action:

Choose one attribute from the above list and identify one action that reflects the way you choose to show up. Practice it until lunch. For example:

Open behaviors:

  • Say, “Let’s try something and see how it works.”
  • Try something someone else suggestions. (As long as it won’t cause harm.)
  • Ask, “What do you think we should do?”

If you chose how to show up today, what would be on your list?

What prevents people from choosing how to show up?

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