Under-Whelming Advice from a former CEO of Southwest Airlines
I’m still grappling with Jim Parker’s advice. He was the CEO of Southwest Airlines during the terrorist attack on September 11, 2001.
Jim said, “I don’t think I smiled for two years.”
When I asked for Jim’s favorite advice, he said, “Be yourself.”
Frankly, I was underwhelmed. But when a leader with battle scars gives advice, you pay attention.
I continue to learn the power of, “Be yourself.” Here’s where I’m at eight years after my conversation with Jim Parker.
#1. “Be yourself,” is self-affirming nonsense unless you give yourself in service.
Sammy Davis Jr. made, “I’ve Gotta be Me,” a hit song in 1968. If you embrace the message of this song, do it in service to others.
Self-discovery is a means to an end, not an end in itself.
A life lived in service to itself is a colossal waste.
Never use “I’m being myself” as an excuse to play it safe or live for yourself.
#2. “Be yourself,” stabilizes your leadership in turbulent times.
If you don’t know who you are, you end up tossed in the wind. You lose yourself to the expectations of others. Everyone’s advice seems good.
Being yourself is making forward-facing choices that align with your aspirations, affirm your values and leverage your strengths.
#3. Don’t simply, “Be yourself.” Be your aspirational self.
Aspiration adds dignity and direction to self-discovery.
Get a picture of who you aspire to become and live up to your aspiration.
Begin with formative aspects of your story.
- How has adversity shaped you?
- How are you like your parents or relatives?
- What stories do you frequently share about yourself? What do those stories say about you?
Use your story as a beginning, not an end.
Tip: Include others in the process of self-discovery. What do others see in you? You never know yourself in isolation.
What does Jim Parker’s advice – Be Yourself – mean to you?
What prevents leaders from being themselves?
Good morning Dan,
Wonderful perspective.
“Get a picture of who you aspire to become and live up to your aspiration.”
I don’t think most people give much thought to this picture. Instead, they live from a position of fear and seeking to please those that they think care (e.g. bosses, co-workers), only to discover that what they thought mattered does not, or worse yet, that that person “cared” only for selfish reasons.
Recently, we celebrated wedding anniversaries for my in-laws and my wife’s grandparents. I. Those celebrations, we saw moving slideshows that celebrated family, friends, and lasting relationships. Those are the aspirations that I want to live up to.
Have a great week!
Jay
Thanks Jay. Love where you took this.
Part of the motivation for this post is the problem of getting lost in busyness and forgetting who we aspire to be. It’s too easy to do.
I’ve been choosing how I want to show up much more these days. It gives direction to my interactions and focus to my life.
Best wishes as you live up to those who are going ahead of you.
Hi Dan,
For me ‘being myself’ mostly means being authentic, which begins with being honest with myself first and then with others. This doesn’t mean I tell everything I know but it does mean I am honest with people about what I don’t know. The other way to approach it is to look at the opposite: trying to be someone else. It’s like wearing a suit that doesn’t fit.
I like ‘being your best self’ as a leadership goal because it combines aspiration with reality.
Thanks for your thought leadership!
Roger Safford
Thanks Roger. “combine aspiration with reality.” Love the way you put that.
Just think, if we aren’t honest with ourselves, we have lost ourselves. Now we are simply going through the motions. It’s pretty tough to find fulfillment when we are sleep walking.
Being one’s self as a leader enables followers to have confidence that the leader will be, “Present”, “Predictable’, and “Purposeful”. Having Bench-Marked with Southwest Airline leaders we learned that the organization truly did, “Take on the personality of their leader.”
Thanks Russell. Love the three P’s. When we are authentic it benefits others.
Your observation about organizations take on the personality of their leader is a healthy reminder that culture change is one of the things that requires buy-in from the top.
“Be yourself”… A reminder and encouragement to always live and model your values.
Thanks John. Your comment made me think about doing what’s important to me. Import as it helps me serve others. That’s some useful guidance for me.
For me, “be yourself” means listening to your gut, going with your instincts, and trusting that little voice in your head/heart. All of these things make you who you are. When I consciously do this, I accept risks and responsibility, no matter the outcome. I rarely regret decisions made this way, even if, in the long run, the decision did not turn out to be great.
Thanks Meredith. The idea of instinct is powerful, especially if you have experience in a given area or you are trying to make decisions based on your values. Probably not so good when solving a technical problem.
Wow. Aspirational self. Powerful. Thank you.
Thanks Justin.
Don’t be yourself; be someone better. Serving others is a great start.
Thanks Jeff. Love how “don’t be yourself” kind of hits you in the face.
Dan
Often people use a different set of values for their work versus their personal life.
I have tried over the years to have the same standards for myself and not use the excuse that bad workplace behavior Is Only Business!
So that’s my answer to be myself,
Brad
Thanks Brad. The idea that it’s ONLY BUSINESS is baloney! It’s personal. 🙂
Herb Kelleher ,founder of SW answered the question of its only business above well “The Business of Business is People”
That to me is the reason we as leaders must be our best selves and treat everyone as their best self everyday.
Thanks John. Nailed it. It’s so easy to get lost in DOING STUFF that we lose sight of people.
I would initially think the idea of being yourself would be more profound but after discussion I would have to agree in it being underwhelming. Although the leader meant well but if they were to really unpack all the work, emotions and sweat during those turbulent times, I’m sure there would be more insight into the situation. I think it helps in knowing you are and what you are made of in times of trouble because it’s more or less a north star to keep reminding you why you are doing the hard work.
This one really resonated with me. In particular, identifying the stories you tell about yourself. I would take it a step further to say if you don’t like that story – or it does not serve your higher purpose to serve others – you need to choose a better story and match your behaviors to that story. I cannot take credit for this – Dan Cable wrote about it in an HBR article, but it completes to loop – we are not stuck with the present story if it does not serve us. Have a great day all!