Forget About Silencing Your Inner Critic

Your inner critic’s voice is louder and more believable than external voices. Others compliment you, but you know you’re a fraud.

Forget about silencing your inner accuser. Negative aspiration tends to strengthen negative behavior.

It’s unsatisfying to pursue NOT doing something.

Forget about silencing your inner critic, but don’t surrender either.

Lies:

Telling lies doesn’t defeat your inner critic.

You might adopt an inner mantra. “I’m confident.” But only those who LACK confidence need to tell themselves they are confident.

Don’t tell yourself a lie in a futile attempt to make it true.

Lies don’t set you free. Repeating, “I’m brave,” when you’re afraid, isn’t convincing.

You can’t lie your way into character.

Expose lies:

There’s perverse comfort in believing your inner critic. I’m no good. I can’t do anything. Don’t expect much from me.

Expose lies. Don’t accept them.

Set a timer for 10 minutes and record every self-accusation that comes to mind. Don’t hold back, even if it seems silly. “No one likes you,” might seem silly, but if your inner critic says it, record it.

  1. You’re selfish.
  2. People gossip about you.
  3. You aren’t very smart.
  4. If people really knew ….

The trouble with self-accusation is the kernel of truth in the lie. Your inner critic might say, “You’re a selfish pig.” Sometimes you are selfish.

Aspiration and lies:

Aspiration dies in the face of lies. You can’t aspire to confidence if you’re telling yourself you’re confident.

Embrace the darkness if you pursue the light.

Do you grapple with anger? Record everything that makes you angry, even when it’s embarrassing. Maybe you’re still angry at the first boss you had.

Sometimes you’re envious of leaders who are more successful than you. Sometimes you shade the truth to enhance your image.

The act of seeing self-accusations on paper loosens their grip on your thinking.

How might leaders grapple with their inner critic?