Two Commitments Necessary to Resolve any Conflict

A win-lose interaction ignites competition.


Reject the drama of “I can’t believe this is happening.”

Conflict and offense are inevitable where people work together. Accept it. Anticipate it.

Conflict is a leadership opportunity.

Define the goal:

Begin with the end in mind when people collide and relationships frazzle.

Goal: Define relationships in new language. Recapturing the past adds pressure. The past can’t be changed or relived.

Question #1: What type of working relationship do you want with each other as you move forward?

2 necessary commitments:

#1. Your first commitment is the team.

Individual concerns come after organizational advantage. When individual concerns and organizational interest collide, organizational advantage takes priority.

Commit to seek advantage for the team and for your antagonist.

Seek the best interest of everyone you engage. (Even if their best interest includes leaving your organization.)

Everyone loses the right to participate when they intend harm or disadvantage. (You may disagree concerning goals, methods, and next steps.)

Teams fail when members refuse to help each other succeed.

Any team member who refuses to seek the best interest of everyone on the team isn’t worthy of the team. Talent and title are irrelevant.  If you can’t support your team members, it’s time for you to go. Sooner, not later.

A small team of highly committed people goes further than a large group of self-serving individuals.

Tip: The stress of conflict resolution decreases when everyone commits to organizational advantage.

#2. Your second commitment is to act like grownups.

Question #2: What are you willing to do to create the working relationship you desire? (Define behaviors.)

Co-workers don’t have to be best friends. They DO have to support each other while they work together.

Perhaps the best you can do is act with kindness and good manners while you work together. That’s enough. But anything less violates commitment #1.

What conflict-resolution tips might you suggest?

Bonus material:

13 Insightful Quotes on Resolving Conflict (Causely)

The Five Steps to Conflict Resolution (AMA)

10 Conflict Resolution Strategies that Actually Work (ProjectManager)